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May 2020

Hmm, are the lists still bugging out and not showing everything when searching all series under a specific genre? I'll tag @ratique to possibly look into this.

I just don't want this to make you feel like your series is further slipping away and add on to your depression. I know how it feels when things slowly slide or stagnate compared to others and it just piles on and on … it's not fun.

And no response to it, so I'm guessing it was a fix?
I'm still able to find my own and other mature series on the app. And now with the guidelines for staff picks made apparent, I'm guessing mature series are just barred from being featured, but show up fine in search? ¯l_(• - •)_/¯

I used to have severe depression and anxiety so I could understand that feeling. It's ok if you disagree and I'm only speaking for myself when I say this but back then...I don't think really looked at the world objectively, that includes my skills and work ethic. And because I was so ill back then, I don't really think any amount of improvement or validation could have 'fixed' the way I perceived my work.

right now someone can call my work 'trash' and I'd be ok with it.

[

Please don't concern yourself with my illness.
I've given up on Tapas anyway, so whatever happens, happens.

Well subs are not indicative of the quality of my artwork.
Usually with comics, as long as you can make your point across with distracting the reader is enough. You don't need good art.

My art, if not attached to a comic, it's an abysmal failure.

Stay strong, Jodo.
I wish you better luck than me.

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Well, this is a bit different. People telling you that your art is good when it simply gets ignored every time is like telling a blind person that they can see just fine.
I've been fortunate enough to receive fan art and people commented on how much better other people were at doing my own characters as opposed to me.
I have a basis for what I'm saying.
I do practice. I've been drawing every day for over 17 years, yet my work is still being ignored.
I'm tired and in poor health, I don't think I'll ever get good before I kick the bucket, and that's kind of scary.

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I know, it may seem like a lot, but I can assure you it's not the art! Ha ha!

Hello there Carlos,

I have been reading the conversation and I think I have been in a similar place once. Not that I am comparing something. That is not truly what I am trying to do.

I can only speak for my experience...
In my case, I think I felt the same as you do, and, sometimes I still do. There are days when I think my art will always be ignored.
But, I came to terms with there is nothing that I can do about it. The feeling will not go away even if I get all the subs and likes on tappas and webtoon combined.
The feeling is more... like a black hole. It will never never go away, so what can I do with it?

Well, in my case, I learned to live with it. I stopped doing art for others, or trying to charm and wow them, and now I do it for me, and I try to improve for me. I know I will always make better in the next page, comic or illustration... I guess everything else comes natural...
I live comfortable knowing that I will try my best and there is nothing else that I can force to happen.

And something else, don't be shy to try to seek help. Professional help. It is not bad seeking help. seeking someone to talk to. I really think that seeking that help will make everything easier to cope with.

I really wish you the best.

Regards,
Daniel

I'm not feeling exactly like you, it's not physical for me.
But anyway I can't see my artwork, it's awful. Current is subpar, but old stuff is just real bad (i'm not even talking about story). And right now I should post it, and redrawing everything is not an option. It's because I'm moving out from public eye after I'll finish current project (even thinking about it can made me feel better).

I'd seek some pro help for my depression, because, dude....you have a level of support and a fanbase most of us can only dream of.
To hear someone in that position give in to despair and put themselves down like that...I dunno, it kinda makes the rest of us, standing at the foot of the mountain you're on top of, wonder why we should even bother.

You think your illustrations suck ? They don't, but so what if they did. Art is a wide field. Nobody is perfect at every single aspect of it. That just doesn't happen.
And have you really, truly taken the time needed to get better at it ? If your depression is this bad, it probably stopped you from trying. Don't draw conclusions about your own possibilities and talent based on how down you feel right now.

You see, my problem is that I don't have a point of reference. It's not that I feel down now. My condition is chronic so there's no "normal" for me. It's constant depression non-stop 24/7, which is why I wanted to know if what I felt was normal or if it's my depression talking, because I truly can't tell the difference.

It is probably important to note that the context has changed, and very recently too. From the amount of time and effort a lot of us have put into our art, we expect to have made it already, because that is how it works in even the most modest of success stories. But Jodo suspects that those stories are getting pretty old by now.

In the new reality, good art is no longer good enough. There is also marketing to think about.

I was going to type "how can you feel that, you have 14K subscribers!" but then I remember that depression doesn't care about that. I think your work looks great. Also everyone feels insecure about their work sometimes. If you have chronical depression, that is going to have an impact. I am not sure if I am depressed but I am sad and insecure all the time too, but I am not diagnosed.

First, your style can definitely work in illustration. Also, I really don't believe that you just can't seem to improve in art. But I know the constant stress and depression can make it difficult.

Ahh but yeah I do get a physical reaction looking at my art sometimes. Like right when I post something on social media it instantly becomes covered with flaws and I'm filled with regret. Or when I look at older stuff it makes me feel disgusted and I can't even look at it. I used to habitually always delete or trash my drawings back in the day.

Idk, I know people who are so free and creative and seem so confidant in expressing themselves. Like they can naturally come up with interesting and emotionally impactful ideas, and then just execute it as if they were just having fun. But for me it's rather frustrating haha. Like everything I do I just immediately hate and shoot it down before it gets anywhere.

But yeah, it's rough not letting your insecurities keep you down. So I think what you have achieved so far is pretty amazing.

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What are you expecting them to do about it? They have zero control over the content of their app so they literally can't do anything about it.

I do see it comes up under popular comedy when I search that on the website, so it still is there on the website. Again, they have zero control over the content on their app so nothing can be done about that.

I do think you're really undervaluing it. Art being aesthetically pleasing isn't just about having perfect details, proportions and backgrounds. Aesthetically pleasing art has unique character, mass appeal and refinement. Your art has all of these things. Only you can draw it. Meanwhile, you can compare to my art where I strive for perfection but it's pretty typical manga style stuff. I have spent many years on my art yet my following and appeal don't compare to someone like Sarah's Scribbles because it doesn't have those latter qualities.

This is spot on. I have a close family member who struggles with depression and it's painful and frustrating to be someone on the sidelines who literally can't do anything to help them. I can say when I look at my old art, yes, sometimes I will feel a twinge when I look at it and see how off some things will look. But it isn't normal to get so sick when looking at it, at least from my perspective. Maybe this is a symptom from your depression, maybe not. We're random people on a forum, we can't speak for your inner thoughts. But maybe you can change the way you look through your art to lessen that sickness you feel or to avoid it completely. Maybe it is that you stop looking at whatever you just drew and only focus on completely new things. I don't know.

Honestly, it seems like there's a lot of justifications being made in your mind for everything someone says here so I am sure you'll say "No, no, I can't do that" or some excuse. In that case, the discussion may as well end since nothing anybody says here will be any help in any way.

Only YOU can change. Nothing anybody says here is going to change you. If your end goal is to change at least. It really doesn't seem like there is a want to change here though. But again, it's your choice. Only you can want to change.

I'm not asking for help. I'm asking if my reaction is normal or not.
And also, you're assuming that mental illness is a character flaw. It's not.

Okay. Then I think it's pretty clear from what everyone has said here that no, we do not typically experience the level of sickness that you are describing here.

No. Just no. I suppose I could have been more clear but that's straight out a misinterpretation of what I meant.

Please. Consult your medical help professional. Nobody here can help you any further.