You see, my problem is that I don't have a point of reference. It's not that I feel down now. My condition is chronic so there's no "normal" for me. It's constant depression non-stop 24/7, which is why I wanted to know if what I felt was normal or if it's my depression talking, because I truly can't tell the difference.
It is probably important to note that the context has changed, and very recently too. From the amount of time and effort a lot of us have put into our art, we expect to have made it already, because that is how it works in even the most modest of success stories. But Jodo suspects that those stories are getting pretty old by now.
In the new reality, good art is no longer good enough. There is also marketing to think about.
I was going to type "how can you feel that, you have 14K subscribers!" but then I remember that depression doesn't care about that. I think your work looks great. Also everyone feels insecure about their work sometimes. If you have chronical depression, that is going to have an impact. I am not sure if I am depressed but I am sad and insecure all the time too, but I am not diagnosed.
First, your style can definitely work in illustration. Also, I really don't believe that you just can't seem to improve in art. But I know the constant stress and depression can make it difficult.
Ahh but yeah I do get a physical reaction looking at my art sometimes. Like right when I post something on social media it instantly becomes covered with flaws and I'm filled with regret. Or when I look at older stuff it makes me feel disgusted and I can't even look at it. I used to habitually always delete or trash my drawings back in the day.
Idk, I know people who are so free and creative and seem so confidant in expressing themselves. Like they can naturally come up with interesting and emotionally impactful ideas, and then just execute it as if they were just having fun. But for me it's rather frustrating haha. Like everything I do I just immediately hate and shoot it down before it gets anywhere.
But yeah, it's rough not letting your insecurities keep you down. So I think what you have achieved so far is pretty amazing.
What are you expecting them to do about it? They have zero control over the content of their app so they literally can't do anything about it.
I do see it comes up under popular comedy when I search that on the website, so it still is there on the website. Again, they have zero control over the content on their app so nothing can be done about that.
I do think you're really undervaluing it. Art being aesthetically pleasing isn't just about having perfect details, proportions and backgrounds. Aesthetically pleasing art has unique character, mass appeal and refinement. Your art has all of these things. Only you can draw it. Meanwhile, you can compare to my art where I strive for perfection but it's pretty typical manga style stuff. I have spent many years on my art yet my following and appeal don't compare to someone like Sarah's Scribbles because it doesn't have those latter qualities.
This is spot on. I have a close family member who struggles with depression and it's painful and frustrating to be someone on the sidelines who literally can't do anything to help them. I can say when I look at my old art, yes, sometimes I will feel a twinge when I look at it and see how off some things will look. But it isn't normal to get so sick when looking at it, at least from my perspective. Maybe this is a symptom from your depression, maybe not. We're random people on a forum, we can't speak for your inner thoughts. But maybe you can change the way you look through your art to lessen that sickness you feel or to avoid it completely. Maybe it is that you stop looking at whatever you just drew and only focus on completely new things. I don't know.
Honestly, it seems like there's a lot of justifications being made in your mind for everything someone says here so I am sure you'll say "No, no, I can't do that" or some excuse. In that case, the discussion may as well end since nothing anybody says here will be any help in any way.
Only YOU can change. Nothing anybody says here is going to change you. If your end goal is to change at least. It really doesn't seem like there is a want to change here though. But again, it's your choice. Only you can want to change.
I'm not asking for help. I'm asking if my reaction is normal or not.
And also, you're assuming that mental illness is a character flaw. It's not.
Okay. Then I think it's pretty clear from what everyone has said here that no, we do not typically experience the level of sickness that you are describing here.
No. Just no. I suppose I could have been more clear but that's straight out a misinterpretation of what I meant.
Please. Consult your medical help professional. Nobody here can help you any further.
Don't take @Cavechan out of context like that and misinterpret. They said nothing like that.
Like I said previously, I'm not asking for help. I don't understand what makes you think I would come here for help with my illness.
I think we just need to call one of the mods, like @ratique.
Cool. I think in this case @ratique can be tagged and asked to close it.
@ratique Could you please close this thread as the question has been answered?
