Sure, I'll post one of my:
Dream Walker, Dream Walker
Please tell me Why?
I walk alone, but never reach.
I dream alone, but it never ends.
Dream Walker, Dream Walker
If I fall in love,
and lose my dream.
Will it return when love is lost?
Dream Walker, Dream Walker
Please tell me why?
When in love the dream grows,
but when alone we dream to love?
Dream Walker, Dream Walker,
Please tell me why?
I walk in dreams,
and dream to walk...
This one is my first official one, really old and I sadly lost my notebook with all the ones I wrote ;_;
As for yours, it is rather short. Is also seem rather personal that is a bit hard to decypher for the readers. I do like the concept and idea, just think it can be more flesh out. Mind me take a poke at it to do it on my style?