The main problems with this approach, in my opinion, are the following:
- You can't fully control the information about your cheating. There is always a chance, that it will be discovered, and not in a pleasant way. In the best case, it will be discovered by your partner themselves, by signs you haven't cover, or told to your partner by another people, who've seen something suspicious, or by your temporary lover. In the worst case, it will be discovered by someone's pregnancy or venereal disease, which is much more unpleasant.
- Some people (like me) are pissed off by any attempts to deceive them "for not hurting your feelings", sometimes even more, than by misbehavior itself. I always prefer to know truth, even if it's unpleasant, because:
a) My general mindset is to learn as much as possible about people, who are interesting to me, and how world works - within reasonable limits and in aspects, which are significant for me. Then to try to understand everything I've learned and create a whole picture of it to the best of my ability. If someone distort this picture intentionally, especially because they think that I shouldn't know the whole picture, it's, like, a direct conflict with my desires, my mindset (if you understand).
b) For me, sincerety is integral part of emotional intimacy. I can't feel close to a person, who deceives me, especially in things which are important for at least one of us - it contradicts concept of "being close" in my mind. For me, emotional intimacy is to be accepted the way I really am, and accept a partner the way they really are, at the first place.
c) In my opinion, if the person thinks that hiding something is better for me, it means that they think that they can decide which is better for me better than myself can. Thus, they puts themself above me and kinda don't give me a choice how to react to a hidden information. Which I perceive as a form of disrespect to me and my freedom.
d) I myself don't like to lie to close people for one more reason - because it makes me tired and uncomfortable. I can't relax, when I have to lie, so I avoid it with people, with whom I want to relax.
But of course, I know that:
- Despite there is always a chance, that a lie will be discovered, it's also always a bigger chance that it will remain undiscovered either. The better you hide, the higher the chance of staying undiscovered, obviously (but, again, it's never 100%).
- Not all people are like me, and many prefer to turn a blind eye on things, which they don't like, instead of facing them.
And also that there is no God or Higher Power, which would rewarded me for my way of thinking and punish people, who have another way of thinking.
It's just how I see things, and how I want other to behave towards me. Considering serious psychology-heavy creative works in real-life setting, I project my vision on them, too, and judge them accordingly. The problem is, that considered creative work is not serious at all, so I have no idea why am I writing all of this. Maybe just because I want to talk it out and exercize in formulating and justifying my opinion on this topic.
Sure. The sex can be different, have different rules and different meaning. I just wanted to say that in my opinion, it's important that evetything would be transparent, everyone involved would understand the rules, so it would be a fair play.
P.S. Thanks for letting me know the abbreviate "TMI". From now on, I'll attach it to my every second post or so.