[CLOSED] I will read your first chapter and give feedback! NOVELS ONLY, SORRY [CLOSED]

Sinful_Pen 2025-07-11 15:58:55 UTC #241

summary: Vuni is about a little alien girl who crash lands on earth. she now has to life on earth, not knowing rules and how things go on earth. a boy that is 2 years older than her and his sister show her the ropes and teach her what to do and what not to do on earth.

Genre: adventure, action, drama, sci-fi, suggestive horror, romance (friendship), and slice of life.

Liv45 2025-07-11 16:37:25 UTC #242

Hi, I would like to hear your opinion about my novel

Soren_Frost 2025-07-13 11:09:54 UTC #243

Hi! I would like to have some feedback on my novel . It's a blend of dramatic contemporary narrative, psychological introspection, and dark fantasy world‐building.

mohammed_kirito 2025-07-13 11:13:57 UTC #244

I'd like to hear your opinion about my novel.
It explores the corruption rooted within the noble class a system so twisted it ends up creating someone who wants nothing more than to bring them all down.
Here's the link to the story:

shriraa.sha 2025-07-13 12:00:06 UTC #245

Thank you so much for the opportunity!
I've recently started mine and the genre is Action Fantasy/Mystery with lots of plot twists on the way!
Really would appreciate constructive feedback, thank you!

Synopsis:

Coerced to don a mask that breaches out of their control, to live and be a person whom they'll never know and being chased by shadows were kept long suppressed.

Whilst living on the edge of a teetering peace, can they manage to hold on to their sliver of hope?
And can their illusions finally prosper into a reality?

MHSly 2025-07-13 23:45:56 UTC #246

Sovereign Hunter

Hi there! Thank you for sharing your story, I really liked the setup of the multiple worlds/times and the towers appearing. I have a feeling that a big adventure has already happened for Ryu, and that another one is just around the corner!

My one suggestion for you would be to have someone proofread your work. I saw a few instances of awkward wording and run-on sentences. You can also proofread it yourself, the best method I've found is reading it out loud to catch those particular issues.

I have no other notes for you, thank you again for sharing!

MHSly 2025-07-22 00:28:11 UTC #247

When the Scroll Unfolds

Hello and thank you for sharing your story! I really liked this first chapter, though it did feel a bit short if I'm being honest. It does give just the right amount of info to introduce the story and the main character, and I find her inner dialogue hilarious!

One thing I noticed was the type of formatting you used for thoughts and speech. This is not how a traditional novel would be formatted. As always you can write however you want to, it may just take your readers a bit longer to get used to this formatting. If you wanted to do it the more traditional way, here are some general guidelines:

"Where am I?" -- Spoken out loud
Where am I? -- Inner dialogue/thoughts
"Where am I?" -- Spoken out loud with emphasis on 'I'
Where am I?" --Inner dialogue/thoughts with emphasis on 'I'

Hope this helps, thank you again for sharing!

AizuKin123 2025-07-22 00:32:34 UTC #248

I would love to hear some feedback as i am new in writing and that can really help me to write well!

If you like slow burn urban fantasy with graphicaly descriptive and detailed sequences with the hints of other genres... You can check out my fiction!

Synopsis:Ryu always thought heroes were chosen. Aiden believed power meant freedom.

They were both wrong.

In a world where magic and technology coexist, two academy graduates quietly begin their adult lives. Ryu is a disciplined dreamer; Aiden, a powerful slacker. But something is breaking—mana flickers, relics resonate, and forgotten legends stir beneath their feet.

Unknown to them, the balance of reality is beginning to crack. Other worlds—some familiar, some alien—press against theirs. And the line between peace and catastrophe is thinning.

As truths unravel and ancient forces awaken, the two must rise before everything collapses.

MHSly 2025-07-23 00:17:15 UTC #249

The Crimson Chronicles

Hello. and thank you for sharing your story! I really liked how I was dropped right into this world along with the main character.

My one suggestion would be to give more description. The parents were suddenly holding swords when the fight started, I think it would be helpful to mention these details beforehand.

Other than that I think this is a great start to your story! Hope this helps!

MHSly 2025-07-23 17:11:04 UTC #250

Crowned By Fate

Hello, and thank you for sharing your story! I really like the prologue, it was nicely written as a quick introduction to the world and the main character. The first chapter I had a little trouble following. I noticed a lot of repeated phrases, such as remarked and his eyes noticing things. I think it would be helpful to go through your chapters and edit them to make sure you're not repeating the same thing too often.

My only other suggestion would be to work on consistency with your spoken dialogue and inner dialogue/thoughts. There were a few times I got confused about what was spoken and what was not. If you wanted to do it the more traditional way, here are some general guidelines:

"Where am I?" -- Spoken out loud
Where am I? -- Inner dialogue/thoughts
"Where am I?" -- Spoken out loud with emphasis on 'I'
Where am I?" --Inner dialogue/thoughts with emphasis on 'I'

Hope this helps, thank you again for sharing!

Dadoche 2025-07-23 17:13:24 UTC #251

Hi, I would love for you to check out my novel if possible for you !

andypicopost 2025-08-09 21:50:14 UTC #252

Thanks for offering to help the community. I'm new here and would appreciate some feedback. I have an idea where I think I'm going wrong, but would love to have other people's opinions to help me craft better stories.

Outline
Twelve years after she broke his heart, an emotionally withdrawn architect is forced to collaborate with his former love. As their unresolved history echoes through their lives and those around them, both must finally confront the choices, regrets, and quiet truths that shaped who they’ve truly become.

The idea is based on a K Drama style script I've been developing and I wanted to use this as an exercise to look at the chatacters better. This is an attempt to make it into a slow-burn, emotionally restrained drama about intimacy, ambition, and the truths we avoid.

Thanks for your time again. Hope it's not too painful for you to struggle through XD

aureliamaiisibil 2025-08-09 22:15:32 UTC #253

Thanks. I'm happy to give feedback on your story as well.

My story is told out of chronological order and follows a character who is trying to find his place in the world. Here's the short description:
When Ri Sang Kyu took a job as Jang Yun Seo's driver, he'd expected to be escorting the rich CEO of a social media startup around Seoul for a fat paycheck, but Yun Seo lived in a different world, one existing in the same place but invisible. Before long Sang Kyu was embroiled in a revenge plot that went all the way to the top of society and had fallen hard for a man who seemed to have no interest in him beyond his usefulness. Still, the pay was good, the sex was better and Sang Kyu finally had a way to get his family out of debt. He should have known it was too good to be true. By the time everything fell apart, he was eager to run away from all of his troubles.

The only problem was that he had no idea what he was running toward. Or how to leave the past behind when it knew how to find him. And no matter how much he tried, he couldn't escape the world of the invisible now that he knew how to see it.

powerplantanimations 2025-08-17 01:52:43 UTC #254

This is an illustrated novel so

Summary: IN THE DREAM WORLD, SHE’S A GODDESS! IN REALITY, SHE’S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE! Every night, professional brat, Coco Doe, watches over a dream universe inhabited by creatures that represent pivotal moments of her life. One of these characters being a professional (albeit biased) teddy bear priest named Yu’Chri, who’s been tasked to write her BIBLE!

Journey with us as we see these two perspectives clash in this farcical comedy.

ALL OF COCO'S PAGES ARE ILLUSTRATED!!!

Art by Doodle_Andie

baekseohan 2025-08-17 05:14:45 UTC #255

Check out The prince is devoid of all emotions on Tapas https://tapas.io/series/The-prince-is-devoid-of-all-emotions- give me some feedback after reading

evanmurellin 2025-08-17 10:45:23 UTC #256

The Age of Echoes
Mystery/Fantasy/Thriller/Horror

In a world where forgotten ruins whisper secrets of the past, Leo Vale awakens to a life he cannot fully remember. Guided only by his sister Mira—whose power can fracture reality itself—he is pulled into a mystery that spans realms, shadows, and echoes of lives long buried.

"Do you feel it too?" Mira asks, her hand hovering in the air as it shatters like glass, revealing a tunnel of stars.
"It’s like the ruins are watching us," Leo answers, torn between fear and fate.

What begins as a step through a portal soon becomes a descent into the unknown—where every choice reshapes not only their future, but the very fabric of their world.

The_Gayest_Gentleman 2025-08-19 22:23:41 UTC #257

Hi! https://m.tapas.io/episode/3418834

dharuswathi2001 2025-08-21 15:32:52 UTC #258

Hi I just started writing here and I have one chapter. sort of new to this platform and not sure what kind of stories people are into here.... anyways this is my novel link. hope you like it

alexdguzman 2025-08-24 06:53:21 UTC #259

Hi I'm just getting started but here is the link to my novel that I'm hoping to adopt to a comic, later an anime.

Hope you enjoy it as it's written like a script from a screenplay: Twin Stars of Kisaki

Thank you for reading Chapter 1, I appreciate any feedback!

doitlikeomar69 2025-09-01 23:29:47 UTC #260

Thia is something new I've been working on it isnt crazy yet getting there