Who is your target audience? Reading this, it came across like a comic for elementary school girls, a graphic novel I’d see sold next to The Babysitters Club. For that audience, I think this is fine, minus the few bits of cursing. Little girls would like the calm color palette, cute royal female in dresses, what I assume will mostly be fairly grounded characters and situations.
As a late 20’s male, I was kinda bored. There were a few cute/funny bits of dialogue, but nothing about the characters really stood out to me, outside that odd scene with Amira not being able to give Suzie a compliment. The conflicts are pretty mundane + don’t go anywhere. Suzie falls in the water because Amira was a little pushy. Suzie doesn’t mind. The client was a little bitchy, then is thrown out by the queen. I didn’t care where the plot went anyway. The cast is likable and there were a few cute moments, but I needed more character/comedic moments to carry me through this story.
I would’ve like more conflict. Like maybe more focus on Rosie being annoyed at Suzies treatment of Amira, and how that tests the trios relationships. Or maybe have the ep more focused on them needing to get the dress cleaned, and worrying/fighting about getting it done on time. A clear conflict that rises in intensity, with interesting character moments throughout.
The premise of a princess messing with her friends, also it’s modern day, could be fun. Didn’t feel Rosie being a princess really added anything here, but it doesn’t necessarily always need to. The idea of a princess in a pickup truck is a little funny.
The character models look fine. I’m not a fan of every character having the same face shape/nose/eyes. I’d love to see them more expressive. Staging could be more varied. Most of the shots are the characters in ¾ poses, usually just standing. That part might be a budget/time issue. I also don’t know how cartoony you’d be willing to go. Though even if they are meant to be more restrained, the expressions could be more varied. The color palette/painted bgs are nice. The dresses are well drawn.
Rosies narration felt almost entirely necessary. It felt like most of what she said could’ve be inferred + expressed with visuals. Ex. “I stuffed my face with donuts. I had to endure Amira’s horrid disgusting as fuck Ford 150 with cereal bits vibrating in the seats.” That would’ve been a funny visual seeing Rosie actually stuff her cheeks with donuts. Then after the exterior of the truck, show the interior, Amira driving while Rosie looks disgusted, staring at cereal bits.
TLDR It’s a good start. It looks nice/is cute enough, but could be more entertaining with stronger conflicts, comedy, and character traits.
