Your work is super cute! The art style(in the earlier chapters and the latest) is v cute and I love the character design! Your use of panels in the latest chapters are also very effective, everything seems to flow a lot better and I can tell you improved a huge amount over the course of making this comic!
The biggest thing for me is the pacing. Especially in the beginning, everything moved too fast and I didn't really get a good sense of 1. the exposition 2. the characters 3. the setting. Often times I felt like there could be more space/time utilized between shots and scenes to really draw out the feeling and tension in some scenes. To me, the biggest place this stood out to me was the beginning because it just got right into the action of finding memento. I just feel like it would have been more effective to showcase Tally before they discovered memento to really build this world and establish their character before the plot trigger. You do better with this as the comic goes on, but I think the same general advice could apply! And trust me, pacing is something I also struggle A TON with! Just something that gets better over time :))
Also since your episodes are so short, I think it would be effective to merge some pages together? It could be a personal preference but I find when I click onto a new comic and I see A TON of pages, it just turns me off because it's just a lot of content to slug through. Your pages seem to fit into episode chunks (ex. pg 1-4 would make for a great chapter), so this shouldn't be too hard?
I said before that I really loved both art styles! That said, the switch to the new art style around page 50ish felt very jarring just because the two styles are so different. I'm not sure if you did that on purpose for the plot or if you just switched art styles? Not necessarily a bad thing, but for me I just felt that the jump was sudden. I noticed you did allude to the new style in earlier chapters, but it might also be that because I'm reading this in one go, the switch is more noticeable
Your comic is really cute, and I def am excited to read more! Also I am certainly not a professional by any means, so please take all of this "critique" with a MASSIVE grain of salt! There's a lot of potential in your comic, I can't wait to see where it goes in the future :))
ALSO here's mine, but you don't have to go into massive detail like I did LOL I only ask that you just DM me your critique and stuff since I don't want to take over this thread lol