Does my story make sense after I translated it from Polish? Need opinions!

[Anchitsu]

Hi there! I uploaded a couple of the first episodes of my novel. I originally had it written in Polish, and actually, the story was placed in Poland, using Polish city names, etc.
For the sake of this multi-national platform I tweaked it a bit, creating a neutral, non-existing modern, european country and cities, changed names of some of my characters and approach to some topics, but I intend to leave some slavic touches to it.

I'd like to ask for your opinion if my translation approach is visible, are if you see anything awkward in my writing.
Also, a general opinion would be highly appreciated! I'm not describing the Novel here on purpose, because I also want to check if a first-time viewer of the link has everything they need to recognize what it's about.

If you like it, please give a sub please! <3

Read Fated to Restart | Tapas Web Community

[Leyelle]

I don't think you needed to change your characters names. Every name belongs to one culture or another, so it's not like there is any such thing as a "neutral" name. My stories are for multi-national audiences too, but many of the characters are based in my own (Dominican) or other existing cultures, and I just leave all their names as they would be in their own culture or language. It helps make your story stand out imao.

[Anchitsu]

I usually don't change it completely, but choose the ones that are "neutral" (e.g. Anna), or change how the name is written - e.g. in Polish we have Filip, I changed it to Phillip. But on the other side I left quite slavic Vlodek, so I'm on the edge here. For sure the names of the cities I needed to tweak a bit, because using the Polish ones would be totally unreadable, like "Łódź"
But with names I'm not sure, I quite don't mind those little changes, using english version of those names like Karol/ Charles, Filip/ Phillip, etc.