I've been doing that for 15 years.
I've been giving others so much attention and remembering them and so much, etc. for over 15 years. and it never comes back to me, and I'm just... burnt out.
Also, like I said, I can't find any media I actually like, so like. Most of the times, I'm sort of faking it when I tell people I love their stuff. Like. I have a quota to love 10 people's work a day, and even if I only find 3 I actually like, I have to go find 7 other things that are sort of okay and throw love at them as if I love them. And I do work so hard to remember everything, and make reading other people's work a higher priority than working on my own (or reading the things I actually want to read) and it just... gets me so burnt out.
I just get burnt out from trying.
also, that thread about gender is a whole bunch of problematic stuff and no one in there really knows what they're talking about. Like. "oh but what do you do when a kid wants to do things outside of their gender?" "Label some kids as trans or nonbinary" How about label all kids as nonbinary?
Kids want to grow up to be a gender because the culture and society around them is all about gender. Because they go to the movies and all the characters are gendered. Because all the clothing stores and bathrooms, all the adults...
If kids got to grow up in a place where they were not exposed to gender markers at all? They would all be nonbinary and think having a gender is silly.
One pronoun for everyone, no gender labels on everything... males and females' brains are different because by the time they get around to studying them, they've developed differently, and, even if some percent of the brain is different, that's still only a small part of the brain. That's only a small part of the individual. There should just not be separate gender labels at all.
Like. There's no separate types of vehicles for separate genders. There's no separate bookcases for separate genders. There's no separate math textbooks for separate genders. There shouldn't be separate clothing styles or language or roles in society for them either.
Everyone can express themselves freely with things when they all get the same blank slate. Having a separate shaped slate for girls and for boys limits them and cuts them down, no matter how many different ways of dividing who gets what you come up with; no matter how many third options you come up with; having that division makes everyone less of a person.
I don't want to see one nonbinary character, I want to see a whole world that has never heard of gender at all. Which is the kind of stories I write.
Okay, end rant.