After writing about ppl, who "just want to talk" and thinking about it for awhile, I realized one of my problems in getting emotionally closer to people, especially IRL. This problem is: I tend to talk about things, which are interesting for me, in MUCH more details, than people normally do. Which causes people lose interest in these talks, and me - to lose interest in these people. Also that's why these talks sometimes turns into monologues.
If during such a monologue, a person looks involved and reacts accordingly, by making relevant points during and after it, I feel interested and gratified. After they let me finish, I can switch to another discussion topic without problems, since I told everything I wanted. In this case, I'll likely have better mood and thus will likely be involved in what interlocutor will say next, too (fair enough, isn't it?).
But many people don't listen and start to look annoyed quickly enough. And when I see that they are annoyed by what I'm saying, I lose interest in continuing it. But aside of it, I also lose interest in continuing talk with them in general, too. I feel especially negative, if the person asked me about subject themselves, but then didn't want to listen to my long answer. It becomes especially hard to return my interest to any talks with person after it.
Bright example is: when another students learned that I had internship in < well-known overhyped IT company with unhealthy high competition >, they started to say "wow" and ask me, how did I get there.
In response, I started to explain, how have I prepared, in details (I did it during several months). I told, how did I create resume; which books I read during preparation to the interview, which topics of algorithms and data structures I already knew well to that moment, which I had to learn additionally and which were the most tricky for me; and - the most hard part! - which soft skills had I to develop to pass their interview, which manners of behavior had I learn; etc, etc, etc...
I was so enthusiastic, because usually I'm very bad in exams, job interviews and other things like this, which require posing and demonstrating your skills in that manner, which are unnatural for me. And here, I managed to pass interview, which was made by such high standards... Honestly, I was proud.
But people, who asked... they didn't really want to know all of that. They started to be bored very soon. They didn't bother themselves to think for 5 seconds to understand, that to become more "attractive" for employer, than literally 99% of other candidates, you have to learn and do many things. So explaining these things will obviously be long. How was I supposed to compress all of that in short answer? I don't know. Probably, someone can, but I can't.
To be honest, I felt deceived by the fact, that they asked about it by themselves, and then didn't want to listen. After several talks like this, I stopped telling about that Internship by my own initiative. But even despite of this, one person learned about it from other people, came to me and asked "Wow, how did you get there?".
In response, I just looked hostilely and told: "I don't want to talk about it". Because I already guessed, that he doesn't really give a shit, basing on previous experience. And the person was perplexed and repulsed by my angry answer. He didn't understand why I didn't talk about it. And I didn't know how to explain.
People don't understand, that it's not my fault. That I can't FORCE myself to feel interest to talks with someone after they behaved like this a couple of times.
I understand, that they behave like this, because they expect less long answer, but I can't provide it to them. For me it's very hard to avoid details when I tell about subject, which is important for me. Why should I torture myself by fitting their stupid boundaries and also then forcing myself to like them? Go to hell.
If they ask me, why did I lose interest in someone, and I named that reason, they say I'm petty and easy-to-offend. But actually, I wouldn't even bother to tell, if they wouldn't ask. They ask and don't like the answer... again. Probably, next time I'll just tell: "I don't want to talk with this person because I'm asshole", if THIS is what will be easier to them to understand.