Forum Behavior That Makes You Crazy

CodeMonkeyArts 2019-09-21 18:46:41 UTC #42

My personal pet-peeve is not so much forum specific but a side-effect of using chats/texts/forums for conversations. One cannot tell tone very much. I get that. I understand that it's hard to understand the tone of what someone is saying. That's why we have emojis and /s and all that to help fill in the gasps that body language or a voice used to fill.

However, sometimes misunderstandings happen.

The issue is that after the person has specified what they meant, or that they were being sarcastic, or even apologetic, there are others who will still keep hammering on that misunderstanding.

Over.

And Over.

AND OVER AGAIN.

To where the discussion is...completely derailed and then feelings are hurt and everything is a mess.

That annoys me.

I'm also admittedly in my thirtys and over the whole "Be positive ALL the time" deal. Life is hard. Shit happens. It's okay to recognize it. It's okay to mention it. It's OKAY to disagree. When folks get really uptight because someone is not joining the kumbaya circle, I admittedly get...a little annoyed. People are allowed to critique, to mention what is missing. IT'S OKAY TO WANT THINGS TO BE BETTER.

unknown_user 2019-09-21 18:49:30 UTC #43

I sometimes make a comments with a hot head, when I need to spit out something which cause me strong emotions, but for some reasons I can't or don't want to talk about it with friends.
After calming down, I realise that the comment was too emotional and/or contained too much personal information, and delete it, since the comment achieved it's main purpose: get off my steam, but in the same time i don't want to see it anymore. I especially tend to delete those of my forum posts, which appeared to be related toward other people's personal life. I don't always notice it, when I write something, but if I re-read it and see that it's the case, I feel not good about it.

ratique 2019-09-21 18:53:29 UTC #44

I've actually experienced that nearly all posters of a locked and hidden thread return to go through it again (Unless they are so upset that they don't come back at all).

Instead I think it's a bit of a generalization to assume flags are an issue that appeared mostly because it's being talked and complained about so much in recent times, as well as the fact that being flagged, even if it happens just once, can be really annoying and/or shocking for a user.

Part of it may be my fault for addressing the complaints (as I am doing here, causing a thread to derail - sorry OP), but I always feel like sharing background information on how things actually work helps avoid confusion in the future.

Luminosophy 2019-09-21 19:05:40 UTC #45

LOL. I WANTED TO SAY THIS FOR THE LONGEST TIME. I just decided it was better not to poke the hornet's nest.

I think those bother me the most, there's threads that are actually asking for spec work and it lowkey worries me that people don't realize it. Especially in those threads you'll have tons of people asking for work to be done and so few providing anyway.

dawgofdawgness 2019-09-21 19:11:32 UTC #46

people who claim that “my comic may have bad art but the writing is EXCELLENT!” Whilst shaming comics with good art and “bad writing”. Like ok there are a handful of comics that actually fall into the criteria of “bad art, good story”, but it isn’t an excuse to completely disregard the visual aspect of comics. And it also annoys me when people use XKCD as an example, since it’s more of a daily gag for a blog kind of thing. It doesn’t have a “good story”. Just.. people making excuses for themselves to not try their hardest. Sorry if that came off as too negative
overly argumentative posters - forums is a place for discussion, but very occasionally some contrarian will come in and try to aggressively push their “unpopular opinion” while shutting down everyone else. It’s really irritating because often times they’ll make the thread all about themselves.
passive aggressive topics - you know which ones I’m talking about! They were funny for a while and then they were not.

sadghost 2019-09-21 19:12:09 UTC #47

Yes, i feel the same.

Maybe it's an age thing. Like some people are probably still on school/high school and now there is this whole "act nice/don't bully/everyone gets a participation reward/etc" kinda thing, that older people didn't experience or just doesn't happen in their country at all.

What it was considered a joke between friends one decade ago, now a days can be considered bullying and hate speech.

Maps 2019-09-21 19:13:30 UTC #48

I agree with tone. I’ve written things before that ended up offending someone in a way that I did not foresee or intend. Like my own words got taken out of context of what I was trying to say or a joke was misunderstood. Then I have to clarify my intentions and clear the air.
I think we should be more mindful we have tone and language barriers. Also, people have admittedly said they struggle socially. I think it’s important to not get upset right off the bat when you read something and to consider these different things.
Also, I think if a post offends you, maybe cool off before responding right away. Sometimes responses seem very reactionary on the forums.

Lyric 2019-09-21 19:20:14 UTC #49

This is so true, but we live in the age of hyper-sensitivity where the authoritarian response/reaction borders on censorship.

I'm probably gonna get flagged for posting this.

JRHoch 2019-09-21 19:28:34 UTC #50

You do realize he's mentioned this same thing like ten times now in various different threads. I'd take it less seriously and assume he's flirting.

skicoak 2019-09-21 19:39:20 UTC #51

Lolz! You need to give back your psychology degree... It matters to me because I got more flags than the U.N. Building.

Maps 2019-09-21 19:40:30 UTC #52

This is off topic, but I would easily watch a Big Brother-esqe reality show where @JRHoch and @skicoak had to live in a mini home together for two weeks.

AllynCrowe 2019-09-21 19:45:25 UTC #53

That's not a house, that's an arena!

skicoak 2019-09-21 19:50:19 UTC #54

There can be only one!!!

Maps 2019-09-21 19:50:50 UTC #55

oh dear, I forgot you’re trained in this.

JRHoch 2019-09-21 19:51:27 UTC #56

Visions of @skicoak in a kilt still haunt me.

indagold 2019-09-21 20:13:32 UTC #57

yeah the flags I got was "community decided" meaning multiple people in the forum decided on flagging a post and thus because they decided it, it must mean its correct.

ratique 2019-09-21 20:14:24 UTC #58

Careful with that assumption. For all you guys know I could be a 65 year old trucker from Ohio.

So triggered.

Maps 2019-09-21 20:17:19 UTC #59

I’m officially adding @ratique into the Big Brother mini home at the end of week one to stir things up.

CodeMonkeyArts 2019-09-21 20:23:26 UTC #60

Yeah I just...I don't get it. It's not just about in jokes but also about bringing up a negative topic or making a constructive criticsm or suggestion. What is so wrong with doing that? Why not vent? Why not suggest how to make something a little better? I understand some push back but acting like the criticsm is a punch in the face? Like...no. That's not how life works. People will make a comment. People will share an opinion that one may not agree with. Instead of expecting to be coddle, learn how to either ignore, accept it, or perhaps even go "Yeah I could do that but wanted to do this because reason."

I completely agree. There are times when I DO get angry and then I type something out, then pause, move away, come back to it then delete my response or reword it to clarify what I understand now or why I disagree without getting mad. It helps to just take a moment and cool off.

skicoak 2019-09-21 20:31:15 UTC #61

There will STILL only be one!