Dude. These two things right fucking here! I'm about to offend some fucks, but let me say, people should get the hell over themselves. I am, in all honesty, one of the most narcissistic people I know. And I love my opinions. Thing is, I hate arguing, and I certainly think everyone should be able to express themselves freely. I'll crack at peoples' music or personal tastes to mess around, but when it comes down to it, we all have different opinions, lives, freakin' skin color, everything. Shit, I'm sure my white ass is a different hue than the next white bastard beside me. But everyone is fucking human (I mean trash), no matter how their brain works, no matter their preferences. I consider myself a Christian (Flay me, assholes), and I'm totally down for LGBTQ+. I find it fucking beautiful. But I also dislike most churches, and feel as though other Christians would tell me I'm a sinner. Whatever that means. It's just another label humans tack onto one another to feel better about themselves. I can say that in my eyes, my God is an author who writes damn good stories for peoples' lives. Even the shittiest experiences stack into a good story and a life that's worth something.
Now with this shit said, I also think other people on either side of any spectrum get way to offended. You wanna know something? My step-dad strangled me twice that I remember, beat the fuck outta me multiple times, and threw my ass down a rocky hill which fucked my back for a few weeks. But I've been told not to talk about things that I've gone through because it might offend someone else. With MY past, I can hurt someone else. But the experience was my own. It just brings a memory they don't want to or can't readily face yet. But you know, I'm a loose cannon because I have trust issues where I throw up literally everything I can say about myself in a dingle conversation string, and no one has ever once even looked offended. I've had some amazing conversations.
You wanna know something else? I was born addicted to meth, two-and-a-half months early and should've been dead. I've tried to fuck my life off multiple times, but I'm still here. I crashed my car at 95 and nothing happened, and held a blade to my chest screaming after opening my arms. When I wasn't trying to die, I destroyed my lungs for a month by jumping from an 80ft cliff on my birthday and landing wrong. I love the wind, and the airflow on that jump was great!
But let's get into it. My mom passed just two months back, and I'm technically homeless because my step-dad and I (surprisingly) son't see eye-to-eye. My mother had me at 15, and my father was 28 and out of the picture before I was anywhere close to being born. So tell me again how you feel offended. Because I'm sure me talking about my life will fuck someone's day. Whether it's out of fear for facing oneself, or your own past, or whatever else it is people even get offended for. I'm sure someone reading this is furious.
But you wanna know something else? I forgive the man who beat me as a child. My mother's death is kicking his ass and he can't handle it. So now our relationship is mending, because he has no one else to go to other than what used to be his punching bag. Only now he listens to it when it speaks.
I forgive the man who made me, though I'd always shit on his crimes. I forgive my mother, because of course you'd need to cope with being a prostitute at a young age and having a child, rock would surely help there. And I'm right motherfucking here writing this.
And even though I just said all this shit, my God forgives me. In fact, I'm pretty sure he loves the way I speak because he made me this way. But Christians come damning. (Which I believe was a sin. No man can damn or condemn. Only God can, right?) Label me, then.
The funny thing is, I warned everyone that I'd offend them as soon as I opened my mouth to spit. Yet I'm sure you'd make my teeth bleed anyway. So I'll keep spitting and say: We take offense to things when we're warned about them beforehand, and half the time it's a power search to feel better about oneself, other times it's because we disagreed with someone's opinion, but it's very rarely because we ourselves are offended. I think we search for the very feeling of being offended, because it hits us hard like a rush of "the fuck?" and "that was directed at me!" When really, it wasn't, fuck off, I don't know you, you're a sack of meat, don't say I offended you. It stems from the yearning of wanting the stagelight to shine bright and hard on us at all times, but not too bright, because that's blinding and I'll sue you. My world revolves around me, just as your life around you, but I won't be stupid enough to think others mean me when they say "hey, you." I see people talk shit on Christians all the time and feel lumped in, but Christians themselves will scorn me. So here I am cast outward. But I'm not offended by it. I love who the hell I am. I wear it with pride, and I'll carry my King that way, too.
I'll stop ranting. (Or try.)
What I want to say is that people just need to have more understanding. They need to relax from the ban-hammer and let other people share their opinions. Because every single person, whether they're the ones talking shit, or the ones being shit on, has an entirely different mind, past, and story. So back off, and if you dislike something, that's fine. Keep it to yourself, or critique it so it can grow healthily. Don't smear your human filth all over a canvas because you don't understand the painting. To me, everyone is trash. But fuck, people are so beautiful. I find a burning, ceaseless hatred for mankind within me, but this seeds only from a love and forgiveness for men that I hate to have dwelling within me. (As in mankind, men and women alike. Or anything else that considers itself human and sentient)
I've seen people shit on each other and nitpick on words like dude or mankind. But I've never had that happen to me when speaking publicly. Perhaps it's presentation or something, but I know that I've never meant offense by my dialect and speech patterns. Even those are just a part of someone's past.
But I don't know much, because I'm a white, Christian male in the US. Then again I am homeless and soon to be, once again, jobless. And only through High School. I mean, I don't do drugs, though. Huh... I'm just a dude on a couch, really. And I'm not anonymous for shit when my profile picture is of me and my dead mother.
Quit being dicks to one another. On the other side of it, don't get so easily offended. Take a damn good look at yourself. Give yourself some shit, pick up those areas you hate, and realize that really, we're all just going through the motions and we're all corpses and souls. Make yourself into what you want. Not some asshat that can't look in the mirror without shredding someone else.
Don't shit on me, I won't shit on you or fuck your day. But you can shit on my work all you want, because I don't get that much annihilation and I wanna get better at what I do.
Maybe then I can change my label of Happy and Homeless
Cheers.
Fuck you all. (Especially the dude who wrote this rant.)
(Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're not cool, and fuck you.)
I'm going to bed now. \m/
EDIT: I also hope that dude's okay. Sorry to hear he got fucked. That's shit.