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Oct 2024

Here is my story ,if you are interested in fantasy elements then do check out my novel...


After subbing and likes tag me so that i can also do same..

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    Oct '24
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    Oct '24
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@Harshitx I subbed and will give your story 2-3 chapters to see if I like it if u want to read4read
@skylisette @NewAgeComics I subbed

Happy to do a read4read with anyone else in the thread, (Ill give ur story the first 2-3 chapters to see if it hooks me)
just reply letting me know if u want to

Blurb:
To Be Human follows Argo, a member of an assassin's guild, on a quest for vengeance against the mysterious figure who murdered his parents. He is joined by Nyx, a freshly initiated guild member, and Ryle, a Knower from the Eastern province.

As he journeys deeper into the secrets of his past, Argo is forced to grapple with the guild's teachings of isolationism, walking a fine line between solitude and friendship. Every bond he forms becomes a potential weakness, and every connection tests his resolve.

I do like your story, it's laid out differently than I am used to. I wished you would expand your story summary more than that short sentence. It might help with bringing more attention to the story.

And instead of adding a subtitle to the paragraph like "AFTER TWO WEEKS", it could be implemented into the paragraph like "The morning, two weeks later, Vijay..." I think you have a good basis, just some rearranging.

Like I'm reading a screenplay or script than a novel/story. For example 'Amar: "What are you saying?"' can be changed to "What are you saying?" Amar asked in a desperate voice.'

Your main paragraphs are great, it's just the dialogue is a little awkward but a super easy fix.

I meant it when I said it was a good mystery and thriller. There's a book you can get on kindle for like $2 I think will help you finase those details, since you have a good basis (How to Write Action Adventure Novels (Classic Wisdom on Writing Series) by Michael Newton). The onw that helped me the most is a series called "On Writing and Worldbuilding" by Timothy Hickson. Hope that helps! Keep up the great story!!!

@Harshitx Subbed! :heart_03:

The first two chapters are uniquely suited for audio/radio drama, with the dialog listed for each character (Vijay, Boy, and Amar). The next few are written out like a more traditional novel, and it's an interesting read so far. I'm big on mysteries, and wondering what will happen next. :smile_01:

I'm happy to sub for sub to anyone else here as well. :heart: "@" me or DM to let me know you've subscribed, and I'll return the favor. :coffee_love:

Here are my two novels, "Of Lowlifes, Lutes, & Liars," (Action Fantasy) and "Apparent Secrets" (Slow-Burn Romance):


@skidiggy thanks for the review of my novel..i am trying to improve and serve something different and improving my writing skills...but i have to admitt that you had an amazing writing skills and you conveys the scenes to audience with very ease..

The Sun - War of Gods Begins 1

Synopsis:

In a world where gods walks among the mortals, a young boy named Aryan is unexpectedly thrust into the divine realm, Following an untimely accident, he awakens not as the boy he once was, but as the Radiant Luminary—one of the most being in the world, The sun god- Aurelion Blaze.

As he grapples with his new existence, he uncovers a dangerous truth—gods are not the pinnacle of creation. An ancient race to ascend beyond even godhood has begun, with deities vying to steal each other’s authority.

Amid the chaos, alliances crumble, and a hidden war erupts, threatening to unravel the fabric of the universe. With powers far beyond his understanding and enemies on all sides, Orion must navigate this treacherous path, where even gods can fall. The war of Gods has begun.

I hope you'll give it a try. Thank you :pray: