Hi everyone~ I would love for you guys to check out my work and give me feedback please

[fruitloopchan]

Hi everyone, My name is Fruitloop but please call me Loop~ I'm pretty much new(well not that new) in Tapastic and well, I would like some feedback on my comic

Here's the comic:

Emeraude :: Chapter 1: Meeting page 1-2 | Tapas

It's not much yet, I'm still working on the few pages and so on. I have big hopes on this one
If by any chance I commit a grammar issue or spelling issue please do tell me, english is not my first language and it will be a big help if you guys will help me out on this

Hope you guys have an awesome day

[Amberday]

this looks promising. how did you make the background?

[fruitloopchan]

Thank you! I looked up some background reference and try my best to map out the background with perspective grids

[Amberday]

I mean how did you make the lines parallel to each other? I envy the curves on the ceiling the most. and how much time did you spend on that single panel?

[fruitloopchan]

I will see what I can do...
Here's how I do it... Well the summary of it anyways

I draw a box and work on it from there. The curves is just how I just do curves, well sketch the curves and try to align them... I'm sorry I suck at making tutorials

the time I spent on that panel is around 30 minutes or so.

[Amberday]

only 30 minutes?! you have my respects.

[parceeena]

Nice work on the backgrounds and you have a really neat art. It's kinda short to make a feedback about the story though, but nevertheless this looks promising.

One thing: Have you considered making your comic mobile-friendly? I would recommend making the font size a bit bigger as more people read comics on their phone.

Good luck on your comic!

[fruitloopchan]

Thank you! I'll see what I can do about the font sizes, thank you for telling me

[parceeena]

no problem. glad I can help

[punkarsenic]

ooh, your arts very nice - i particularly like the energy in your lines. overall your comic looks very professional, with an interesting concept. im sure youll do very well!

[OccasionalNightmares]

Only issue I see is the third panel - "Why are you imbecile still doing here?!" isn't grammatical. "Why" and "still doing here" don't agree in this situation. If you want to stick with the word "Why", you could say "Why are you still here, you imbecile?!" if he's speaking to a single person, or "Why are you imbeciles still here?!" if speaking to multiple.

If you'd rather keep the general structure of the sentence, you can say "What are you still doing here, you imbecile?!" if speaking to one person, or "What are you imbeciles still doing here?!" if speaking to multiple.

Other than that, it looks great. I dig your perspective, and the art style in general is pretty rad. Great work!

[fruitloopchan]

Thank you that means a lot~
Ah and thank you for letting me know on the grammar too! I will fix the page now

[fruitloopchan]

Here's an update on the comic! hope you guys will like it!

Emeraude :: Chapter 1: Meeting 3-5 | Tapas

Let me know if there's a grammar correction, that would be very awesome ;v; Or any suggestions that may help me improve the comic in the future

[DeformedSunflower]

Holy crap is that good.

Nice contrast, solid tones, clean panelling, easily readable dialogues, great proportions. SUPER GOOD.

The movement of the characters are rather stiff, but nothing really major. And I would prefer the spacing of the panels to be wider, especially on the 'time skip' moments, so that the readers could feel it better. And personally, since there are more and more mobile-using readers, it would actually be better if you arrange the panels in more of a vertical line than horizontal so that scrolling is easier.

Hope that helps and keep it up!