So I used some of y'all advice and edited a scene from my story. I also decided to talk to some of of my distant relatives to get a feel for their accent a little more. (BTW that phone call lasted 6 hours. I'm not doing that again anytime soon. lol.) How did I do? I tried to keep it subtle for now.
_Somewhere in the world, the air fills itself with the eerie feeling that something bad is going to happen soon. As our field of view gets tighter, we’re able to make out the appearances of two young women playing Chess in a really big and luxurious backyard. _
Aries Freeman, a pink-haired beauty with the eyes of a demon. She’s dressed in her own version of a Japanese style high school uniform. Her soft voice is muffled by her cotton face mask. Making it somewhat difficult to understand the words she is saying.
Sitting on the other side of the table is her best friend, Virgo. A caramel-skinned woman with bright green eyes and silky jet black hair. Her busty, model-like figure combined with her skin-tight leather outfit can leave both men and women speechless.
As the two of them enjoy an evenly matched game of Chess, they embark on a pretty interesting conversation.
Virgo: “Ya wanna hear somethin crazy?”
Aries: “No, not really.”
Virgo: “Awe come on. At least hear a little of what I have to say.”
Aries: “No. Whenever you ask me that, it’s always something stupid or dangerous. Sometimes it might even be a combination of both.”
Virgo: “What if I told you it was a plan for gettin your boyfriend back?”
Aries: sigh “I’m listening.”
Virgo: “Yesterday I went to The Kingdom of Gold Jasmines. And to put things simply, Angels are fuckin stupid.”
Aries stands up and slams her hands on the table.
Aries: “You did what!? Do you have any clue how dangerous it is to go to heaven? How did you even make it that far?”
Virgo: “It’s very simple. I forced my way inside, marked my territory, then I let them capture me. After that, I waited until I was alone and then I warped back here.”
Aries: “See what I mean? Every time you talk, something retarded comes out your mouth.”
Virgo: “If you say mean things like that, yer gonna hurt my feelings.”
Aries: “You know I can’t do that.”
After calming down, Aries sits back down on the couch. After fixing the Chess pieces, the two of them continue their game.
Virgo: “Like I was sayin. There’s nothin stopping us from going into Heaven. Thanks to my glorious plan, we can now enter and exit as we please.”
Aries: “If you really achieved something like that, how come you haven’t told any of the higher ups?”
Virgo: “Because that was only one part of my full plan.”
Virgo: “If we're gonna get Leo back, I’m going to need you and that godly Persona of yours.”
Aries: “Nope, no way. I’m not going to get myself killed because of your ridiculous plans. Plus, how do you expect the two of us to get him back? Do you have any idea how much security is protecting him?”
Virgo: “And that’s where you come in at. You’re gonna persuade the higher-ups to do our bidding.”
Aries gets up and begins walking towards the backdoor of the mansion.
Aries: She’s trying to get me killed. “Nope. I’m out of here.”
Virgo: “Where are you goin!? What about our game!?”
Aries: “You’re crazy. And that’s checkmate.”
Virgo: What the? How did she-?