How have you all dealt with impostor syndrome and the desire to stand out?

aqua03 2020-12-08 22:57:15 UTC #1

Input Among Us joke here... Haha funni relevant memes

So one thing I've realized I've been struggling a lot with in general is a feeling of impostor syndrome with my work in general.

Like, I've realized that one of my biggest fears regarding the Dragoons is that people will read my story and simply go "Good, but I've seen it before" in regards to my story, characters, and world, so I often times try to overcomplicate things to make things unique for the sake of being unique (Like one time I was briefly entertaining the idea of inventing a fantasy language and writing the story entirely in said language just to makes things stand out more. Yes, really...) mostly because I've realized deep down I have this fear of not being seen as "special" or "stand out" and being forgotten as a result, and the idea of being forgotten deeply terrifies me in that aspect. So I guess I try my hardest to try to stand out a lot in one or way or another because of that fear and often times just hurt myself in the process it seems. Just this general fear of not feeling "good enough" in regards to my own fantasy works compared to other such works. (Be it friends' webcomics in similar genres or other things like popular video games or shows in similar genres to what I write for example.)

I know that's not a healthy mindset to have and I've been working on telling myself that I am good enough to do my work and to be patient, because you'll only grow the more you work and you'll find your niche, but I still find that unhealthy "impostor" mindset creeping in hard when I start to work.

Which is where I;m wondering: have you guys ever dealt with similar fears regarding wanting to stand out and be noticed or with impostor syndrome with your works? How'd you deal with it if you did?

Thanks for the help.

thel3tterm 2020-12-08 23:28:56 UTC #2

Oh, constantly.
I think this fear is an extremely common one among creators.
Years ago I was walking through a used book sale and thumbing through worn out paperbacks that I'd never heard of. I had this weird thought when I realized that I was potentially holding years of someone's work and it was two steps away from a garbage bin.
Fast forward a year or two, and I kept having breakdowns while working on a novel that I "didn't want to be like anything else anyone had ever read". The process was grueling. I was taking myself way too seriously. Every step was like I was mentally grappling with imaginary critics and trying to claw my way into the public imagination. For some reason that used paperback bin full of old romance and pulp fantasy novels continuously terrified me. I kept working on this thing, regularly staying up until 3 AM slamming out words and later deleting them for maybe three years.

...And last year I got burned out. I stopped writing entirely and sort of screwed around. Made some dumb comics, read some bad fanfic, watched a lot of garbage TV in the time I previously would have been forcing words into a google doc.
Some months later, I got an email from someone who had followed a (really terrible) comic I made back in 2012. Long story short they wanted to let me know that they thought about it occasionally and hoped I was doing okay.

So I realized a couple things here.
-Someone out there loved a shitty, unoriginal comic that I made nearly eight years ago and still thought about it.
-I can list dozens more shitty things that no one else really knows about that I love and regularly think about including fanfic and extremely tropey and unoriginal books, movies, and television.
-The only person who knew of the book I'd been writing for years was me, and even I can't really think fondly of it.

So here's the takeaway from all of that which has helped me stay motivated.

Maybe you won't be a media giant, and maybe the thing that you make won't revolutionize genre. (Or maybe it will! Who knows.) But regardless of the outcome, if you share what you make, someone, somewhere will resonate with it and it will be remembered.
Have fun with your work and create it with love and passion.
Imposter syndrome will hit sometimes, and it'll hit hard. but so long as you love it and keep going, I PROMISE your work won't be forgotten, regardless of similarities it might share with anything else.

tl;dr: believe in yourself, it'll be okay.

DiegoPalacios 2020-12-09 00:21:24 UTC #3

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS.....you only need to be better than one person, and that person is YOURSELF.....

Focus on improvement, learning and having fun with doing your work.

WillowTree 2020-12-09 00:44:51 UTC #4

Yep! This is why I enjoy NANO so much! It's not a competition with anyone else except yourself!

I've said many times on here, any story that I write is strictly for myself. I write tropes I enjoy. I write situations I enjoy. I write relationships I enjoy. If literally no one else ever liked it then I don't care because I enjoy the process of creating something that I would enjoy reading. This changed a bit once I started posting because people were actively reading and interacting with my works and it did start to make me nervous.

Do I still get imposter syndrome? Yeah. Every time a chapter goes live, I worry that all of a sudden everyone is just going to vanish and stop reading. The way I deal with that is to just keep posting. If I let that fear get to me, then it would just become self-fulfilling. I'm afraid people will realize I'm just an amateur author and stop reading all my work leads to me not posting my work leads to people not reading my work due to a lack of updates. Just gotta power through those feelings of insecurity and fears

domisotto 2020-12-09 00:55:01 UTC #5

I saw this joke on Twitter a few days ago, and that’s pretty much it. “Am I even good enough to have an imposter syndrome?”

No, seriously, I struggle day and night with figuring out how to make my books click with people, but I see nothing for it but reading a lot and writing a lot.

aqua03 2020-12-09 01:02:50 UTC #6

I've honestly had a lot of similar fears and breakdowns myself in regards to my work with Drachenseele and in all honesty, i think I might have hit my burnout limit as well possibly. I'm not sure on that end, but I should be easier on myself and write more what I want to write and focus on doing what I love instead of worrying about the "What ifs", because it's out of my hands if other people like my stuff. Only thing that's in my hands is whether or not I like my stuff at the end of the day.

@DiegoPalacios

You're honestly right there. That's something I've been working on a lot lately, though unfortunately I still find it creeping into my mind when I don't notice it. Should be more vigilant on that end in general going forward.

Yeah, I get that. My mom always warned me about psyching myself out as well. I really should stop that, because I'm just creating a self fulfilling loop it seems in that regard.

cherrystark 2020-12-09 01:16:08 UTC #7

I've dealt with this in my own way just trying to separate myself from the myriad of other writers. There are tons of people writing novels. It was also really hard to feel confident in my own work when there were people out there dubbing themselves experts for taking two English classes or being an English major, (etc.)

I don't think there is a 100% full proof method to avoid imposter syndrome aside from learning to like yourself and your work. Since my series hadn't really picked up speed on other sites, I had started to feel like I wasn't worth much as a writer because other stories were picking up traction faster than mine. But I had to give myself time. I'm still not where I want to be goal wise, but I'm a heck of a lot better off now than I was a year ago. People will read your stuff. You just have to give them time to find it.

Take their opinions with a grain of salt. Some people may think that about your work but their opinion doesn't matter. Think of how many crime procedural shows there are that follow a coroner or a seemingly "wacky" character that teams up with the cops to solve crimes. There are a million shows like that, but people keep watching them. And who knows, your series may be borrowing tropes and ideas for a few episodes but on episode 42, you could have a break-through that changes your series completely.

My point is to give yourself time. There might be people that'll hate your series, but there's probably going to be a lot more who'll love it.

aqua03 2020-12-09 01:32:28 UTC #8

That's a pretty good way of thinking about it. I really need to be more patient and let myself grow and find people who like my stuff naturally as opposed to always rushing from thing to thing. That's what seems to be my big problem it seems.

WillowTree 2020-12-09 01:37:04 UTC #9

There's no rush. I could be wrong, but I've assumed you're a younger person based on some posts, so you really have a lot of time to improve your craft and get to where you want to be

aqua03 2020-12-09 01:39:59 UTC #10

I'm actually in my mid 20's...

Yeah, I think that's a big fear why I'm rushing, because I've always felt like I got a "ticking clock" of sorts due to a general fear for my own mortality. That someday I'll just inexplicably drop dead and leave my stuff unfinished or never touched at all without even any proper prep for what would happen to my stuff after I pass away if that makes sense.

(It's pretty silly, I know, but it's been a genuine fear of mine gnawing at the back of mind for quite a while in all honesty.)

WillowTree 2020-12-09 01:44:44 UTC #11

I consider mid-20s young lol! I'm 25 (26 in about a week!)

I don't have much to say on the subject of fearing for own mortality because I don't have enough knowledge in that zone to comfortably respond. I'd definitely talk to some loved ones in your life if you think that fear is interfering with you living your regular life

aqua03 2020-12-09 01:47:52 UTC #12

Thanks. Thankfully, it really doesn't interfere with my general life that much, more of with my general "big" creative projects it seems. and even then, it only seems to be a relatively small part of the puzzle in that regard if that makes sense.

Prometheus 2020-12-09 01:51:36 UTC #13

It's a hard thing to do, but I feel like the big one to this struggle is to stop comparing yourself to others. I do it, too, and I'm sure everyone at some point in their art has, as well. I don't have the magic answer to how you stop comparing yourself, as everyone's journey to finding their confidence is different. I will say this, though: I believe that it starts with you accepting yourself and the work that you do. Giving yourself and your work the credit that is deserved. I said it before - but for me, the best work that I do, in my eyes, is when I stop focusing on how to make something incredibly unique. If storytelling is done this way, then it's vision is usually lost. Because the focus is getting a leg up on people and other artists, and the concern isn't really, "I want to tell my story and have fun doing it!" It turns into some crazy jigsaw puzzle that starts to get frustrating, because too many of the pieces are missing to complete the project and make it what it what it was supposed to be in the first place. When I tried to keep rewriting my story to impress people, the vision was lost so much that I started to hate any iteration of the story I was writing. It didn't feel like me anymore. It felt like a plea for acceptance, and it felt like others were writing it, in a way, because I was letting their tastes dictate how my story went. So I think the first thing would be to step back, take a breather, and forget about everyone else. Because acceptance in yourself and your ideas, allowing yourself to enjoy art, is far better than letting your inside forces believe that what the outside forces think is best.

SleepingPoppy 2020-12-09 02:10:04 UTC #14

This is advice based on what worked for me, so may not work for others, but one of the best things I ever did was stop worrying about cliches, mary sues, and all the literary discussions about what we were and weren't supposed to do. I feel like when I let a lot of that noise go, and didn't worry about how it looked if I, say, indulged my super cliche love of purple eyed lead characters, I not only enjoyed writing more, but I became better at it. I totally still think about good writing practices and stuff, but I just feel like the more I prioritize writing for my own enjoyment, the more things worked and flowed.

I think you get a lot out of focusing on audience response, so I understand this way of thinking might not work for you. But it's often very simple things that we are enthusiastic about that will bring that audience in and make them interested. If you can focus on what makes you the most joyful about your work, and cut out the over complicated stuff, that may be helpful?

Not so much with my comic, but as a student teacher. It was beyond my ability to cope, though, so contacted my schools mental health services and started therapy, and eventually also got on medication. Things were a LOT better the second half of the year, and it's hard to tell what was the therapy, the medication, and what was just the change in situation and having more experience and a better mentor. My therapist was also SUPER nice and talking to her over all was very comforting. I totally miss her now that I've graduated school.

Prometheus 2020-12-09 02:18:19 UTC #15

THIS! I love this! I still get vigilant every now and then of the do's and don'ts, but I think holding onto these as commandments to writing stories really hurts creators. I know it's hurt me regarding my writing. The most fun I've had, and the best story I've written, in my opinion, came when I threw this stuff out the window and just wrote.

DiegoPalacios 2020-12-09 02:45:42 UTC #16

when you think about it....that's another reason to stop overthinking......

The worst mistake one can make is to live afraid of making mistakes. The years i learned the most were the year i started publishing my comic here....and i am still learning.

You never stop learning, and that means you never stop improving, as long as are active doing stuff

Lahin 2020-12-09 03:00:03 UTC #17

I'm still dealing with the feeling of what I do having been done before. But it hasn't eaten away at me because I found this video on youtube before I started publishing my story. It helped lots.

The issue at hand is discussed 2 minutes into the video, if you don't want to watch the whole thing.

aqua03 2020-12-09 03:13:48 UTC #18

Yeah, you're definitely right there. I've struggled with that a lot in general. I need to work on accepting myself and my ideas first, and let other people accept me and my stuff later, not the other way around liek i have been doing it seems.

SleepingPoppy:

This is advice based on what worked for me, so may not work for others, but one of the best things I ever did was stop worrying about cliches, mary sues, and all the literary discussions about what we were and weren't supposed to do. I feel like when I let a lot of that noise go, and didn't worry about how it looked if I, say, indulged my super cliche love of purple eyed lead characters, I not only enjoyed writing more, but I became better at it. I totally still think about good writing practices and stuff, but I just feel like the more I prioritize writing for my own enjoyment, the more things worked and flowed.

I think you get a lot out of focusing on audience response, so I understand this way of thinking might not work for you. But it's often very simple things that we are enthusiastic about that will bring that audience in and make them interested. If you can focus on what makes you the most joyful about your work, and cut out the over complicated stuff, that may be helpful?

Yeah, that helps a lot actually. I've always worried that someday I'd wake up and find one of those five hour long video essays nitpicking every little flaw and cliche and talking about how my comic sucks and is the worst thing ever if that makes sense. (Not helped by the fact that when I first created the Dragoons back in 2011, I was super into reviews of "So bad it's good" media like bad movies, games, and webcomics and I'd look at those reviews and go "Yeah, I'm gonna make sure the Dragoons are nothing like those terrible things!" If that makes sense.)

I've been trying more to focus on what I'm enthusiastic about in general with my comic and my characters.

It's okay, nothing is ever gonna be perfect. and that's fine. Mistakes happen.

Yeah, you're definitely right there. I'm terrified of making mistakes it seems.

That's something i gotta be more mindful of is the fact that if you're constantly growing and learning, then you technically aren't failing because you're still improving despite your mistakes.

To quite a Youtuber I used to watch a lot during his review of Gurren Lagann....

"Once you've hit rock bottom, then there's nowhere else to go but up!"

ble 2020-12-09 03:27:27 UTC #19

I don't know if the term impostor syndrome is being used correctly (?)

Summary

My understanding is that impostor syndrome is when someone gets famous, wins awards, or receives some recognition, and that person feels they don't deserve that success.

But in the OP, it seems they are talking about a future scenario "I'm afraid X will happen", not "I'm afraid X is happening".

Like, right now, are you experiencing a success that you feel is undeserved? If not, you may be overthinking a scenario (hypothetical future recognition) that has not happened yet.

Well, anyway, on topic, I don't think i have experienced impostor syndrome, as i have not reached a point where I got enough recognition? like i don't get big views, or the ability to monetize what I'm doing (ads, merchandise, or Patreon).

I wish i had impostor syndrome, at least it would mean I'm doing something right in the eyes of other people enough to make a living. But so far, not really.

BrambleberrySquirrel 2020-12-09 03:53:00 UTC #20

Thanks for writing this. I needed to read this today. It really helped.