I need a lot of help. (Frequently updated)

Endrenesk 2016-08-02 07:39:11 UTC #1

I've been working on a story for roughly a year now, and recently just lost everything I've worked on in a google drive related accident.
My art sucks, due to a lack of a scanner, and a lack of experience with digital art.
My story itself is probably alright, but all I'm really good for is making some really awesome concepts.
In other words, I'm a procrastinator who doesn't believe in themself.

A basic rundown of what I started with story wise; It started as a game.
A group of 7 people are stuck in a closed environment, with no escape- Held captor by the Undertaker, a strange figure who cannot be killed, pays people who kill, and sells weapons and other murder related goodies. His helper is a bartender...?
There were also some other gimmicks like sanity meters, turning into friggin ghostmonsters, and etcetera.
If a person is dead, their soul is preserved for the next reset, which does not happen until all 7 people either die, or choose to pass onto the next loop. Each reset, memories are wiped, information about previous loops are also wiped (to prevent early winning via information holding and cheating.)

What I have now is a little simpler to swallow.
9? people are trapped, and one among them is a murderer. When someone knows "The Answer", the bell rings, and that is the killer's permission to wreak havoc and destruction. Upon elimination of all innocent players, time is reset, and they get to try again.
Unfortunately, this is all pretty bare bones.
You might say this is similar to the Zero Escape series, or Danganronpa, and you'd be right, because it currently has little to distinguish it from the other series- "A group of people are trapped, and must work together to escape, with a traitor in their midst." Sure, there's a time loop, but that's not much.
My current character list is also pretty confusing, not to mention the dumb names.
Apologies for any SPOILERS here on out, but I do actually have a little story in the background.

♂Joule is the lead character (mostly), and is an android without the memories of what happened before the game began. Before the game began, he was the mastermind's right hand man for all the setup operations and so forth.
-Logical type personality
♀Cosmo is another important character that wants to use Joule to survive the game, and intends to use Psychological manipulation in order to stay safe. On the outside, she wears a hyperactive, happy demeanor.
Later in the story, I plan to develop her into Joule's Yandere.
♂Mcglyde is a man all about being AWESOME. He likes being cool, and doesn't feel afraid to show his ego- albeit by wearing a giant bunny logo on his back. His dream is to be a rock star. As the big brother of Yalka, he found himself fending off bullies and tending to his brother's wounds. In other words, he's a role model. Kinda. I guess.
♂Yalka is all about acting, putting on masks of expression, but isn't very good at it, as his spite and sarcasm leaks through like soap in a sponge. His rude nature got him into a lot of fights that he wasn't prepared for, and got him into a lot of trouble that his brother had to pull him out of often.
♀Quo is... I don't know how to take that name seriously, what was I thinking? Erhm! Sorry, my bad.
Quo is a shy character, and I really didn't spend that much time writing her. Uhm... She likes to avoid contact and conversation? I really should have spent more time writing the "Why's" of this character. Oh, she's also the sleeper agent/killer person split personality.
♀Vyryse is a clone of the killer, an experiment to see if they could duplicate the most ruthless, skilled killer in existence. It sort of worked, resulting in an assassin who I really didn't spend a whole lot of time on building personality of.
♂Eric is an elf who came from another dimension to mess with the mastermind's plans, but ended up getting caught and used for the experiment/game. Which, considering that it was important enough to cross dimensions for, really makes me wonder what the whole nature of the experiment is! Because! I'm a bad writer! Also lacking personality. I think he's kind of wimpish. Like Hagakure.
♀Kasulaia is a Bartender who serves as the main guidance of the team, while occasionally providing distractions to lighten the mood of the story, such as putting Joule in a maid dress because he lost a bet. Wait, what? Also, she's a goddess of wishes, the mastermind behind the plot, and so on.
[AI] is the replacement or spiritual sucessor of the Undertaker, who is supposed to be an annoying presence throughout the story, providing helpful information while also attempting to egg the team towards killing eachother. Cause, you know, it's fun.
(This is a reserved slot for a character I feel like I'm missing.)

So, the main point of the experiment is to see if people change over the course of a strenuous murder filled time loop, whether they can eventually solve an incredibly difficult puzzle, and maybe more than that because Eric's from another universe/dimension.
Okay, I think I got everything.

Basically, if anything, at most I need some
-Better names
-Help building up my story from practically nothing
-Insight on how to actually tell a story
-Other mcguffins like art???

hoo boy that's a lot of typing

nillsproject 2016-08-02 10:17:45 UTC #2

That's a good story base!
And I think their names are nice. I can think of some stories that had strange names, for example like Avatar the Legend of Aang or Danganronpa. Some of the names sounds pretty weird but acceptable. (Like Pekoyama Peko in Danganronpa 3? There's no such person named that way)
How bad the names are depends on your own opinion.

With that type of setting, you can focus on the action first like something triggers their action and then focus on character development as the story goes on.

The easiest way to start a story comic is to determine what you really want to write or convey to the readers. For example 'becoming stronger, make friends and defeat evil' or 'hate becomes love'.
Sounds cheesy but those two are themes you can find almost anywhere.

Sorry for the long post. Hope it helps!

shazzbaa 2016-08-02 14:18:51 UTC #3

First off: I knooooooow it's hard to not do it, but please! try to avoid trashtalking so much!! ;u; Every cool and good-looking story starts at this point; I've had plenty of characters who started out as "He's trying to kill so-and-so because ???? <--- figure this out"
It's okay to not magically know everything about your characters while you're developing your story!

My personal advice would be, don't worry about differentiating it from other stories. "People are trapped and know that one of them is a killer" is a tale as old as time and YET, we keep making stories about it, because it's interesting! Focus on just making a story, and as you come up with ideas just.... don't make the exact same story beats as Danganronpa, and you'll be okay. The unique qualities will come from focusing on telling the story that's interesting and rings true to you!

The biggest thing that's needed here seem to be the Things That Happen. So like, Joule wakes up in a........locked house or whatever full of strange people, and they're trying to get out. What happens? Do they try to work together initially? Do they form a plan? What gets in the way of that plan? Are there environmental hazards they're trying to overcome, or is the only real danger the other people who might kill them? And on a larger scale, do they figure out their knowledge is being reset? Do they try to find a way around that? Etcetera etcetera etcetera.
Basically, "what do they try to do, and what gets in their way" can be a building block for building the actual story part.

I'm similar to you in that I'll come up with a strong concept and neat characters but have to work hard to assemble a functioning story. A lot of times when I'm trying to move into the actual Things That Happen I will try to list out the story beats I know -- this usually ends up with a lot of points like this:

-- they decide to work together (why????)
-- they go to ???????? [not sure yet] to find character X
-- SOMETHING HAPPENS (???) and they realise they need to do Y

so don't be discouraged if you try this and it has lots of holes, or important things you clearly haven't worked out yet -- that's the whole point! When you start laying out the actual beats of the story that forces you to move away from the concept and into the nitty gritty of "okay but what actually happens in this story" and you'll see a lot more clearly what you need. For me, that gives me a place to start thinking rather than feeling like I need to somehow pull a story out of nothing.

Another idea that helps me:

I don't know why this was so revolutionary to me, but looking at how one Thing That Happens leads into or causes the next Thing That Happens helped me so much with building a plot -- instead of thinking of it as a list, I'm looking at how each action or choice has consequences. It also helps to keep the story from feeling like a bunch of random events!

I COULD PROBABLY GO ON but this is getting a lil long at this point so, feel free to ask questions about specifics or ask me to go more in-depth for something if this sort of stuff is helpful for you, or if I answered entirely the wrong question. xD

joannekwan 2016-08-02 16:42:25 UTC #4

^Shazzba's always got great advice!

It's an interesting premise, and it could definitely work well. But as I was reading through each of the characters I had a couple of thoughts.
Firstly, is it necessary to have so many? You started with 7 in the first iteration of the tale, so what was your reasoning to expand it to 9?
Secondly, I'm fine with the name Quo (if I'm pronouncing it correctly, I'm thinking it's "kwoh"). But as you stated, you haven't developed her as much as the other characters. As of right now, it seems her sole purpose is to fill the role of the killer. Also, mind the Beware the Quiet Ones trope. People will suspect shy reserved folks especially in situations like this. I have similar issues with Vyryse, whose purpose seems to be a red herring for Quo, but I could see people suspecting them both anyway since she's a clone of her.
It would be an interesting twist if one of the other characters was the killer if Quo and Vyryse stay as they are now.

Also, how would the game know when someone actually "knows" the answer as to who is the killer? Couldn't one person perhaps think everyone but themselves are all the killers and set off the alarm?

Just some things to think about. Hope this helps!

J.Z.Castillo 2016-08-02 21:25:54 UTC #5

I'm gonna give you homework LMAO

Watch (movies):
Nine Dead
Saw 2
The Game
Circle (2015)
Would You Rather

Read (short stories):
Cask of Amontillado
The Masque of the Red Death
The Gold-Bug

These will give you GREAT insight on how mystery works and how versatile it can be! If you prefer anime, watch Gantz or read the manga. I would recommend Mirai Nikki if I didn't hate it so much, but you could see that one, too, to see how a murder mystery game could be played.

I think these titles will give you more ideas on how to develop your story further and not fall into the same tropes we have all seen. I hope I helped you a bit!

AnnaLandin 2016-08-02 21:41:02 UTC #6

What @shazzbaa said:

This? Stuff like this is very literally in the actual working outline of my comic. I've got, and I quote verbatim, "wait, maybe it's better if I did this instead?" notes all over that outline, and it still works!

Not everyone works well with a rigidly planned outline, and a lot of the time, you'll discover that your characters grow and change and become something more while you're actually telling the story - and that's fine. You're doing a webcomic! It's in the nature of them to change a bit as they go. : )

Regarding your specific questions, point by point:

I have no idea why you picked the names you picked, but here goes: The first thing that stands out to me is that Mcglyde and Yalka - who are supposed to be brothers - have names that don't feel connected? "Mcglyde" sounds like a surname, for example, while "Yalka" doesn't. Do they have a family name?

I like that the android is named Joule, because "joule" is a unit of force used to measure electricity!

Out of the whole list, I think the names are fine and easy to remember - the only one that trips me up a bit is "Vyryse", because looking at I haven't the first idea of how to pronunce it. Why-rice? Why-rye-ze? Why-rye-s? Virri-ze?

If all else fails, behindthename.com is your friend. Dig through and find something that fits!

Start simple and build from there. You want to tell a story about a bunch of people stuck in a murderous time-loop constructed by some evil mastermind. The reader doesn't need to know everything about the premise from the start, and honestly, neither do you at this point; you can stick those "figure it out later" notes all over your stuff and let it wait for a bit.

A few things you might wanna get started on right now, though, is a.) figuring out the big building blocks of the story. WHY did the Undertaker trap these people where they are? You seem to have a few options here - changing people through psychological experiment (but why? is the Undertaker trying to produce a specific kind of person?), solving the fiendish puzzle (maybe the Undertaker is just a bored, sadistic trickster-god of some sort, using this timeloop to amuse itself?), or Eric's interdimentional travel.

I feel like if you want to keep Eric around (and you don't have to! it's okay to have a small cast!), you're gonna want to figure out where he's from, and why he's here. Did he already know who the mastermind was? If so, how? Did the Undertaker do something in his dimension too? Is the Undertaker an interdimensional threat?

Basically, brainstorming a story is asking yourself a series of questions - most of them being "why?" and "what if?" - and trying to get the answers to line up. It also helps to focus and try not to let everything run away from you! You've got a big old cast here, which means you're trying to develop a lot of things at once. That might be part of why it feels so messy and overwhelming right now!

My advice is to take it step by step. You say Joule is your main character! So, what's he all about? Why is he the main character? What's his personality like, what does he act like, why is he there? You've got a connection between him and Cosmo already; she wants to use him to get out of this sick game, and is faking a happy personality on the outside. That's great! Two of your characters are connected! In fact, four of them are connected in two pairs, since you've got a pair of brothers as well!

Now the task is to connect them to the rest of the task. It doesn't need to be something that happened before the story starts; it could be something you say "okay, during this story, I want these characters to establish a connection" and work towards it. Maybe Mcglyde, who is used to protecting Yalka, decides to protect Quo because she seems to be shy, and he interprets that as her being weak. Quo is a sleeper agent/split personality, so maybe she goes along with this, happy for protection, but beneath it there's the threat of the killer personality - and voilá, you've got a potential conflict! If the killer personality wakes up, Quo might attack Mcglyde, and we as readers will be upset, because we thought they were friends. Also, Yalka might get jealous of his brother protecting someone other than him, and that means there's potential conflict between Yalka and Quo.

And so on. Place one puzzle piece down, and then try to connect it to another, and another - and piece by piece, you assemble something that works!

If it feels overwhelming, consider trimming your cast down. Does your story NEED Eric? Or Kasulaia? Trimming them out and focusing on the remaining characters might help you get this on the right track. You don't have to, but it might be easier to simplify a bit. You can always add more complexity once you feel more confident in your story!

Endrenesk 2016-08-02 22:49:36 UTC #7

Whew, okay, long post No.2!
Alright, so- the where part seems to be killing me a little; So I need to figure out the setting. I was hoping for a vaguely large place, like an abandoned skyscraper- that way I could fit in multiple facilities without the need to worry about running out of things to draw. It's like a sandwich; start big, and if it's too much, cut some away.

@nillsproject I'm not sure I really know what to do in terms of making the readers feel something- As someone mostly devoid of emotions, things like feelings come later, they're the aftermath of the story.
Also, Ironically, you have the shortest post! Yay!

@shazzbaa
Thing to thing is something I need to work on, but it seems like the simplest way to understand is to think like them. What would I do to try to escape? How would I plan a murder? How do I get that person's attention without being suspicious?

@joannekwan
It's more like 8, because the AI isn't really a character- more like an annoyance.
"Anyone will look suspicious if you point fingers long enough." This is one of my favorite quotes, because honestly, while Quo does seem to be the biggest candidate for being sterotypically murderous, it's technically not her, and yet it is.
Speaking of other people being the killer, I originially had the idea that the killer would be a different person each loop. However, that is not something I will do. itstoomuchworkhonestly(like the original "Reincarnation" version, that would have required drawing 100-or so
characters before the story resolved itself.)

@mrjonzap
Mirai Nikki was kind of disappointing, honestly. Gantz is something I need to check out though, not the first time I've heard of it.

@Annalandin
-Names
Mcglyde is probably a nickname that the character self appointed, which sort of just oozes ego, but a real name should probably be worked on. As for Yalka, I don't even remember how I chose that name.
Joule's name was intentional, so thanks!
Vyryse was meant to be similar to the word "Virus", I think. However, due to a certain tapastic user I should probably change that name for sure. ((See: Viryse from the hoodie brigade))
-Story stuff
Okay, so first thing- The undertaker was removed, which basically moved the power of villainy to the Bartender/Godess of wishes; Kasulaia. From a story standpoint, that means she could have set this experiment up easily.
The options you've given me for WHY are pretty much all on spot with what I'd already figured- I think I might expand upon your ideas here-
Kasulaia was bored, and wanted to torture some people and see if she could create someone with the ability to time travel.
(Insert psuedo science)
With Eric, I think I'm going to make him a guardian of time. Making a time loop is a very big thing that is largely intensive on the universe, regardless of the realm. In other words, he was trying to stop the anomaly at it's roots, and got stuck in it.

Joule, as I said, I think, was Kasulaia's main tool to complete the experiments (that she could easily have done by herself, because she's a goddess, so maybe she's a little lazy like me) and I feel like the twist that he used to work for her (and technically still does) is a largely important step- One that might possibly send him through a spiral of despair and madness for a period of time. That, and, you know, to turn the rest of the cast on him for a while too.
I like your idea with the Brothers and Quo triangle, which I will definitely use on one of the loops.
Vyryse is the only character I'm having thoughts on removing, but I think the idea of making her less murdery is pretty funny.
Everyone I have is needed mainly for length of story, because if I only had to expand on 6 character's backgrounds, I would be done really fast. Which is why I'm considering adding a character.
--Extra thing for you to think about
From a story standpoint, I'm most like Kasulaia. I happen to like putting my characters through painful experiences, but I also feel responsible for giving them happy endings as well. Such a whimsical goddess she is.

Okay, so I do still remember what my intro was, mostly, and some criticism is duly needed.
Absent characters?!: Eric, Kasulaia
The cast wakes up in a small room, and as confusion dies down/increases, [AI] addresses them and tells them the rules of the game, wherein they must find "The Answer" in order to escape, and that there is a traitor/murderer amongst them.
Wanting to believe in everyone else's innocence, (Someone? Maybe Joule or Yalka?) says they should look around for exits.
They split up into groups, and Cosmo and Joule find the kitchen supplies. Cosmo steals a cleaver.
Everyone meets back up in the (commons?) and reports on what they found, and Cosmo, clever person she is, decides to throw a party in an attempt to lighten the mood and mainly get to know everyone.
[Insert vague bonding scene between Yalka and Vyryse, Cosmo begins to plan to use Joule]
Mcglyde asks Joule to follow him (so he can show him something) to which Joule complies like a friggin idiot
They reach a steel door that won't open, and Mcglyde starts strangling Joule from behind. (Because he's a threat to his brother?) Cosmo followed them from a distance, and runs up and cuts Mcglyde's head off with the cleaver.
[Insert shaky feelings scene]
Vyryse, who was watching, starts running away, and a chase ensues, leaving Vyryse heavily wounded, but successfully escaped. She finds her way to Yalka, and reports the murder, and Yalka puts her out of her misery afterward, rather than letting her bleed out.
[Single manly tear scene]

From here out, things get a bit messy, because I forgot what I originally had planned, so apologies for the bare bones.
Yalka keeps the information to himself??
He gets killed by Cosmo??
[AI] congratulates Cosmo, and the bell tolls because someone figured out the answer (Maybe it was Quo)
Ruell kills Cosmo, and then Joule, and the last thing he hears before he dies of blood loss is "I'm sorry."
[Insert maniacal laughter that only Ruell can hear, end intro.]

So, uh, yeah. I've mostly got down what I want to happen for the first half, with a few things I need to figure out (probably later, like you guys keep suggesting) and the second half which is a mess needing less bone and more flesh.

Fridgewriter 2016-08-03 02:23:35 UTC #8

One thing that can really help here when you're doing mysteries is at least have the goals and methods in mind. Start from the event backwards. Figure out the who, what, where, when and why of the actual problem.

Why is the time loop happening?
Who are the people involved and their importance of being stuck in the loop?
What does the bad guy hope to gain?
Why does the time loop change and is heavily altered each time? Is that from outside interference? Part of the plan? Some kind of karmic pendulum at work - like time is trying to break free from this artificial loop?

These are important questions to ask for your story and can really help you with the tent pole logic of the story and everything can be mostly off the cuff outside of these important facts and moments.

Good luck!

AnnaLandin 2016-08-03 05:37:22 UTC #9

You seem to be on the right path with putting things together now, so I'll just leave you with one final thought:

1.) Six characters is still a bunch, and you can still spend a lot of time building up the relationship between them after you've expanded on their backstories.

2.) You don't actually need to make this a really long story. It's perfectly okay to tell short stories, or mid-length stories! Not everything needs to be epic in scope.

shazzbaa 2016-08-03 16:42:10 UTC #10

Seconding this! You could make a huge epic story out of the exact same plot with THREE characters if you spent a lot of time developing them -- not just exploring their backstories, but if their relationships with each other develop and change over time.

I mean, in your rough outline for the intro, things get murdery really fast, but they don't have to. The characters don't necessarily know that [AI] is even being honest about a murderer being among them -- what if he's just saying that to make us all kill each other? You could seriously spend a ton of time and exploration on the point before any murders happen, when everyone is suspicious, and scared, and trying to protect themselves and be ready to kill if they have to but also trying not to look like someone who's ready to murder everyone. Heck, the whole first arc of the story could be building up to the point where murders start happening.

That's not saying that's the way it SHOULD be, just that cramming more characters in isn't the only way to expand the story!

Endrenesk 2016-08-03 17:16:20 UTC #11

Three does not work.
I don't exactly understand emotions, but I do know that it'd be hard to work with the only people around being suspicious either one is a murderer. With three people, tensions get high, and murder happens faster than it should.
Using myself is a bad example, but if I were innocent, I would probably still kill someone- due to the high chances.
There'd be a 33% chance that the killer would be dead after I murdered someone.
The other 66% chance would imply that either I or the other person left is the killer.
Even if the killer was dead, I would be painted as the murderer in that one person remaining's mind.
Similarly, if the other person was the killer, then I would have just screwed myself.

Also, if we're talking about this from a murderer standpoint, then killing two other people is too easy.
The more people there is, the higher the chances of survival should be, right?
Not really! But, it would certainly slow boil the speed at which a group died.

Now, the other hand completely, where nobody kills for a long time is, quite frankly, in the land of fantasy. But, writing and whatnot is easily defined as fantasy, so I'll bother thinking about it.
With a small group, the tension is higher- a group of four people has less of a chance, supposedly, so psychologically, they would think that they are in more danger.
A larger group is prone to being too un-careful about their actions, because numbers should be enough to defeat a traitor. This leads to groups within the grouping, from where a killer would be able to easily manipulate a psuedo "gang war".

The reason that I want 8 people is so that I have a little of both carelessness and panic- which is why I'm not planning on changing the size.

Okay, sorry that I spent a whole bunch of time talking about numbers, grouping, and statistics, but I felt it was necessary.
So, about the intro. Things are supposed to get murdery fast so that I can have an "Intro" showing one of the worse outcomes first, mostly to show that these people have things fundamentally wrong with them, whether it's an acute disliking and mistrusting of everyone, overprotectiveness, a history of nothing but murder, or even blind trust and awful facades.

In saying this, I think that I've come to a vague theme- even in the midst of fear, people can be mended.
I realize that I'm sort of rambling, so I'll try to get back on topic...
Things are supposed to start fast, and ironically it reflects on how I've felt about this story for a year; I want it out there, and fast. The rush of it all is meant to be confusing, too, I suppose, nobody really knows who's thinking what, or why.

Okay, I can't seem to focus on what I'm trying to say, so I'll end it hereish soon
The amount of characters doesn't necessarily quantify the amount of story, and I might even intentionally gloss over one or two of them and oh what am I talking about this is a bunch of bull I'm spouting I should just bloody well start drawing...!

joannekwan 2016-08-03 17:32:57 UTC #12

To clarify, how many loops will take place before the story ends? Two? Or more?
Because I think the more loops there are, and the more times the characters are killed, the less invested the audience will be. If they know the characters are going to be reset anyway readers might find themselves asking "why should I care about these characters?". Their lives are sort of on the line, but not really. That is unless you show them all descending into madness and you see their core interpersonal relationships break down or something.
Do you know what your ending will be? Will they be stuck forever in this? Do they win the game? Or do they find some way to "take down the establishment"?

MichelleAntisocial 2016-08-03 17:56:55 UTC #13

To kind of continue on what @joannekwan was saying, I'm a little concerned about the audience being uninterested in a time loop too. I know you said that the characters will have their memories wiped at the beginning of each new loop so no one has any new evidence on the killer, ect, but I'm wondering if there's a way to do this other than I complete memory wipe. Psychologically speaking, if these people always start in the same place given the same information, it is highly likely that they will just do the exact same things over and over again. I feel like the situation either needs to be tweaked each time so at least one character has a reason to act at least slightly differently (in order to change the chain of events) or someone or everyone needs to have some memory of what's going on in order for them to ever figure out who the killer is.. There are definitely ways to keep the time loop interesting and people invested (check out Re:zero for a character's slow break down due to time loops) and I'm interested to see where this goes.

Endrenesk 2016-08-03 18:32:53 UTC #14

Phfoooooof.
@joannekwan
Okay, so, yes, multiple resets- at least 5, but not very quickly.
Things will slow down a lot after the intro- an example of a "Worst" case scenario (but it's not, bwahahaha?)
I do have a few vague endings in thought; but nothing I'm really confident in making concrete.
@MichelleAntisocial
As often as I say "Time loop" I really ought to say a time reset, or a timeline switch. Very important differences.
If you say it like timeline switching, the likelihood of an exact scenario or heavily similar one happening again is unlikely.
I keep saying time loop though because time does not move in a straight line.
My really dodgy theory is that if time looped, a person would be more likely to experience a new set of possibilities as a principle of the other possibilities having already happened.
In other words, if A happens, it goes to B, C, D, E, F, and so on; but never A B C D B.
So, I just contradicted myself, sort of, but in a way of speaking, it's still a bunch of branches of time expanding from one spot all at once.
Another way to describe this crude theory would be that each reality is like a bunch of sand molecules reaching the bottom of an hourglass. So, no, I'm never (Probably) going to make the same things happen twice.

But because I keep referring to it as a time loop, there is also a simple little tick.
Memories can't be completely removed.
Try giving a person with only procedural memory a puzzle, multiple times over the course of a long span of time.
They'll keep getting better by instinct, and not by memory. Except, it's not really "Instinct", is it?
Thus, some part of the situation will feel familiar to the characters. Deja-Vu is going to happen, probably too many times for me to bother making the characters state that there's "Something off/familiar about the situation".

I don't know how to end this post

MichelleAntisocial 2016-08-03 19:46:40 UTC #15

Ok, gotcha, that makes sense

lukas3 2016-08-03 20:15:06 UTC #16

If you can't do digital, then learn. If you want your comic to be popular, then you must do digital. Almost all the popular creators use digital. Unless your handrawn art is exceptional, then digital is the way to go. As for the story, you've thought it out well! One thing to keep in mind is to follow this character formula:

Main character: Must be strong and determined. Probably has 1 or 2 parents missing. At the end of the story he must have changed in some way. Ex. Luke Skywalker, Simba, Batman, Harry Potter.

Sidekick: Every hero needs some help. A sidekick will always try his best to aid the hero in every battle The sidekick is loyal and is very different than the main character. Ex. C3PO R2D2, Timon Pumba, Robin, Hermione Ron.

Wise old dude: Will aid the hero by giving him/her wisdom. The wise old dude doesn't usually participate in fights but helps the hero along the way. The wise dude often dies. Ex. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Rafiki, Alfred, Dumbledore.

Possible girlfriend: (If the main character is a girl, then other way round). The main hero has a girlfriend that helps him to relax and take his mind of the quest. Without her, there would be no parts where the hero relaxes and the hero becomes more and more determined making him cold and heartless. Ex. Leia, Nala, Batgirl, Cho Chang/Ginny Wealsy.

Villain: Ian Fleming, the author of the James Bond series, once said that the hero was only as good as the villain. The villain must be drived by some kind of force. His first book, Goldfinger, features a villain who has a mad desire for gold and that is what motivates him. Your villain must have a motive and the same detrmination as the hero if not more. Ex. Darth Vader (Dark Side), Scar (Royalty), Joker (Madness), Voldemort (Anger?, Weakness)

Nasty Helpers: Of course, the Villain is not alone, the Nasty Helpers are willing to do anything the Villain orders them to. The hero will have to face many of the helpers if not more. Ex. Stormtroopers, Hyenas, Joker's Henchmen/Harley Quinn, Dementors.

Neutrals: Your world should have many characters Star Wars has many different creatures and Harry Potter has lots of Monsters in it too. Get creative with them but remember, they are background noise.

I hope this helped! Phew! This may be my longest post! Use this to make the ultimate comic! Now get creating!

lukas3 2016-08-03 20:16:52 UTC #17

P.S Voldemort is motivated by the delusion of weakness. He thinks by killing Muggles he is killing the weak and is making the world better.

shazzbaa 2016-08-04 06:24:46 UTC #18

Ehhhhhh, murder isn't a necessary part of the escape clause, though, so the idea that avoiding murder is unrealistic doesn't quite ring true to me, but ultimately that's neither here nor there -- characters who resort to murder very quickly aren't unbelievable, and works for the genre, so it kinda doesn't matter. Everything going very bad very fast seems to make sense for what you're doing story-wise!

I don't think the Lives On The Line issue is the main concern if it's handled with care -- there are definitely ways to make characters who can't die but still have something to lose. If a character is REALLY REALLY CLOSE to solving something, and another character is trying to kill them before they find whatever evidence will put the pieces together, we're gonna be on the edge of our seats anyway -- we won't be afraid for the character's life, but we don't want them to lose this chance to learn or communicate something important.

The main thing would be walking a fine line between tension (good) and frustration (bad) with the memory thing, like @MichelleAntisocial brought up.
Like, the first time you learn that Character X is not as innocent as she seems, and then time resets and the MC trusts her again (or "has a weird feeling" about it but goes along with her anyway), it's gonna be tense, because you know it's a bad idea to trust her. But then if he loses the realisation of her questionable character again after the second and third reset, even if the scenario is different every time, you're gonna start getting frustrated because it feels like no progress is being made. I think THAT'S the biggest issue -- regardless of what "feels familiar" to the characters, if it seems like nothing that anybody accomplishes sticks, it'll get boring. If this is a story about uncovering the truth, and the truth gets re-buried every reset, it will be hard to stay invested because you're not building towards anything. I don't think it's impossible to pull off, but it'll need a lot of care and thought to do well!

(It does occur to me that you have Eric, who potentially understands that Time Shenanigans are happening -- whether he remembers things, or just vaguely understands why things feel familiar and starts devising ways to share information with the next reset, it could be a way to get Some Tangible Progress? but that's up to you)!

Endrenesk 2016-08-04 07:41:07 UTC #19

Baah!
Progress is something that I can't lie, will be difficult to do.
But, I didn't lie when I said I would try not to show the same scenarios multiple times; in partial to that problem.
It's a hard case of "Storyline Bullshit" because I'm saying that memory is impossible to remove.

On the other hand, going back to the hourglass sand grains expression, they're all going down at once.
If we assume that those grains of sand are other timelines, it wouldn't be too weird to say that other timelines are able to feel the other timelines, even if they don't know about their existence. After all, sand doesn't have emotion.
Basically, for any progress to be made, other pieces of the puzzle are required, and they're all in other timelines.

Going a little forward from the hourglass is the power of "Instinct", or I suppose I should just say the Morphogenetic Field, which, if I were to simplify- A conclusion is more probable to be reached if more people know it, even if they don't talk about it.
oh no 999 i'm sorry
Anyway, I really, really love this theory.
And it'll be important when I have more stories. That's the biggest spoiler I will ever drop.

Endrenesk 2016-08-05 04:30:42 UTC #20

Quick question about timing.
So, I realize that a large amount of my story is... Grim.
How do people usually decide to time their comic relief, and when to get serious again?
As an example, I'm planning a scene where Joule loses a bet and has to wear a maid outfit. Where does that fit in the story? I'm planning him to work at Kasulaia's bar in that section of story, but I'd like your guy'ses angle on the idea.
I'm a little ridiculous- and I can say that because I've accidentally sketched Mcglyde as batman twice now.

Also, I know you guys aren't really all that interested in having a 9th character, but I do want some suggestions, and not just suggestions for a ninth character, heck, you could ignore that part if you wanted, I'm a little interested what you guys have to say about the rest of the characters, and how they should/shouldn't be changed.
Speaking of the characters, I'll get a drawing of them up when I have the time/motivation.