[CLOSED] I will read your first chapter and give feedback! NOVELS ONLY, SORRY [CLOSED]

[MHSly]

Hi there, thank you for the warning, unfortunately it is a bit too spicy for me, but what I did read was really well done! Your descriptions are great and I really like your writing style.

Some things I've done to get readers is to share in other writing groups, such as Discord or Reddit, and updating regularly so my stories are consistently showing up on the Fresh tab. It is hard to get started, but just keep writing and you'll find some momentum. I started posting my stories on Tapas in 2021 and it has taken a while to feel like I'm actually reaching people. Don't give up! And thank you for sharing, even though it's not my thing I hope you can find some readers that are your audience.

[MHSly]

Return to the World! A Christmas Tale

Hi there! Okay, I just have to tell you that I freaking LOVED this, I laughed out loud when Gabriel slipped on the ice and when the System read back his name us 'uh, Mikhail Li'. The comedy is hilarious, I love your descriptions and your writing style. I honestly have no notes for you! Well done, I'm impressed, truly.

[pppppiamo]

alksjdfhlskdfjh you have no idea how much that means to me (╥_╥) thank you for the kind comment, I was feeling a bit discouraged bc I'm not familiar with getting traction on sites like this and I've submitted it for tapas' romance contest, but you just made my whole week~~

[MHSly]

You're welcome, I'm glad I could lift your spirits a little, and good luck with the contest!

I mentioned above in another comment, but I've also had some trouble getting readers for my stories on Tapas, but honestly it just takes a while and you have to be proactive about sharing your stuff in other places like Discord or Reddit. I hope you can find more readers soon!

[masi_ruth]

Thanks for this thread!

Here are my latest stories!

1. Turning Tables
   https://tapas.io/series/Turning-Tables/info

2 . A Cricket Enthusiast's Journey to Cricket Widowhood

Read A Cricket Enthusiast's Journey to Cricket Widowhood. | Tapas Web Novels

[Rhynne]

Hi! I really like this thread, for offering critique. It’s thoughtful and takes time, but I like that it’s so supportive for fellow writers.
It caught my eye so I decided to read a bit of your latest story and I know you said you were looking for feedback as well, so I just wanted to share that I thought it had charm! My one critique, or maybe even just personal preference, is that I find it difficult to read through paragraphs of description right from the beginning. This may be just a personal reason why I struggle reading high fantasy prose, but sometimes I feel that if a story doesn’t immediately pull me in with dialogue or quick intrigue/action, then it’s harder to invest time. That said, when the dialogue did start, I was drawn in more than I expected. I felt there was a good flow and suspense hook. Also, I thought your series description was witty. Made me smile.
I hope that’s not overstepping or anything!

I’m quite curious about first impressions on my novel, as I haven’t gotten specific feedback yet. But I know you’ve got a lot on your hands, so no pressure if you don’t get to it! I just like that you made this thread.

Read That Mutual Feeling | Tapas Web Novels

[doodlemcfiddle]

Hello! Thank you for this thread, here is my story 'Sidelines.' I needed to change the start and now have a new intro, your feedback would be great (of course take your time). I was struggling on getting readers to this story, I hope you like!

Read Sidelines | Tapas Web Novels

[MHSly]

Turning Tables

Hi there! I just finished your first chapter and I am intrigued! Unfortunately I only have time for one story as there are others waiting, hope you understand.
I really liked the setup in this chapter. Political marriage is always presented as a scary prospect, and I think you convey that idea rather well. Thile seems to be a capable young woman who can, hopefully, navigate these changing circumstances.
My suggestions:
While the background of the politics and tensions between the three kingdoms is good and easily understood, it did feel like it went on for a little too long, like I was getting a history lesson instead of being told a story. I'd suggest condensing it or spreading it out a little more in between dialogue.
My only other suggestion would be to describe what Alo looks like. All I know is that it is a robot, but while I have my idea of a robot, I don't know what your idea of a robot is. Is it humanoid, a box, a droid? I have no description to go off of, so I would suggest adding that too.
Thank you for sharing your story, hope this helps!

[MHSly]

That Mutual Feeling

Hi! Firstly, thank you so much for your feedback on my story, I truly appreciate it! And I completely understand the difficulty of reading lots of description in the beginning, I'll have to brainstorm some ways to make that less daunting for sure. Not overstepping at all, thank you again!

Okay, I really really like your first chapter! I love Dani's moodiness most of all haha, her thought about crawling into bed where her chemistry homework couldn't hurt her was especially funny. I really like the characterization. Each of them have distinct personalities and I'm interested to know how those personalities clash further as the story progresses. Descriptions are great as well, I felt really grounded in the story right from the start. I don't have any notes for you, this was really well done! Thank you for sharing!

[liminal-collapse]

Oh wow, this is so generous.

I'd super welcome some feedback on the first (or any!) chapter of

Read Parasocial | Tapas Web Novels

[An_Alias]

Read Lover's Complaint | Tapas Web Novels

Just started posting the draft to this one and would love any feedback from people who don't know me irl haha

[masi_ruth]

Ah thanks. I do understand.

It does help! Thank you so much!

[MHSly]

Sidelines

Hi there! I just finished your first chapter, and I must say it was really well done! You introduce the setting and characters nicely and it is very well written. I'm curious what kind of drama is going to unfold.
I only have one suggestion, and it's more of an edit tbh. This line: 'Were were are you last night?' I assume you meant 'Where were you last night', and was probably an error from editing more than anything else. No biggie, and that's the only note I have for you since everything else was great! Thank you for sharing!

[MHSly]

Parasocial

Hi! Okay I am really intrigued by this first chapter. Through reading and of course after seeing the tags, I gathered that Alys has autism, and I was very interested to read how an autistic person views the world and prepares for big events such as the audition she's going to. Not gonna lie it also made me a bit anxious? I guess the writing kind of made me feel second-hand the urgency of having everything planned out, knowing what you're going to wear, being early to important events, etc. Maybe that's my own anxiety peeking through haha. I have no notes for you, this was really well-done and I think you have a good story here! Thank you for sharing!

[MHSly]

Lover's Complaint

Hi! Dang, that was intense... I loved it! The setup, description, characters, all of it were really well-done. My only suggestion would be to separate the first part, after 'Until he was seventeen', into a short prologue. It feels like that's what you were going for, but without a page break of some kind it felt a little jarring to be thrust right into the story after those first two paragraphs.
Oh and I get that, wanting people you don't know irl to read your stories, I always find it embarrassing to ask people I know to read my stuff lol.
Other than that one suggestion, this was really well done! Hope this helps, and thank you for sharing!

[An_Alias]

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)

[An_Alias]

Thank you! I've separated the sections out visually to give it breathing room!
I generally don;t like prologues so I hadn't even thought about it.
I have no shame and do show my friends the stuff I write, but they're too nice to me when giving feedback haha

[MHSly]

You're braver than me haha! What I read so far of your story is really good, so maybe... they're not being too nice, just being honest? Something to think about Don't go getting a big head now ya hear? lol

[liminal-collapse]

Thank you! I specifically used the times to try and create a sense of urgency alongside her anxiety, so I'm pleased it worked that way.

I really appreciate the feedback <3

[doodlemcfiddle]

Thank you so much for reading and point that out! I re-read like a million times and never noticed the typo! Kudos ️