Many writers, usually beginners, make a mistake of outwardly describing the characters' features when they can just describe it along the way. You avoided this mistake in the very first episode, which is really good!
That being said, though, there are quite a few things I want to point out:
-Whenever a dialogue that is followed with a phrase ends with a full stop, the full stop turns into a comma, and the first letter of the next phrase is lowercased (for the exception of names) For example:
Anne: She's over there.
turns into
"She's over there**,**" Anne said.
He: I saw him in the library.
turns into
"I saw him in the library**,**" he said.
The lower case rule also applies to exclamation and question mark:
"This is ridiculous!" he yelled.
"So...where is Mary?" she asked.
-Onomatopoeia, like the soft mumble of approval (mmm), by itself, should be lowercased. For example:
Solomon gave a quiet "Mmm" as if in agreement.
should be written as
Solomon gave a quiet "mmm" as if in agreement.
or
"Mmm," Solomon mumble quietly, as if in agreement.
I hope that helped.