Unless you're aiming for hyper-realism, meticulously recreating a scene from a photograph or life study, then "real-looking" is a bit subjective. I don't particularly think the page you've shared is "too realistic." I think it's actually fairly expressive. You've made choices to include some details and to leave others out...in other words, you aren't a camera which means that "real-looking" is actually far in the distance from what you're doing here. I think for the subject matter, the style you're employing works pretty well. The pencil work conveys mood and emotion. Also, as the story is autobiographical, you'll inevitably wind up imbuing the work with your memories and feelings. You may find that you grow looser the more you work...or maybe the opposite.
All in all, it never hurts to look at what other people have done in the past to express themselves, but the important thing to remember is that you've got to find something that works for you.
Do you know Daivd B's Epileptic? That's on the far extreme of stylized expression. Or Bryan Talbot's Tale of One Bad Rat? Again, a very personal story but somewhere else on the spectrum of rendering. Maus? Black Hole? Each artist of the above books have dealt with intense personal feelings using various styles. Oooh, one other person to look at, do you know Brian Selznick? He does a lot of pencil work and goes in an out of high-detail and subjective expression from page to page.
Remember, it's art. It doesn't always matter what it looks like. If you're asking a question about skill vs unskilled, then that's a very different question.
Best of luck.
