Hiya! I gave your comic a read!
Here are some of my thoughts:
- BEGINNING:
You started off with an entire page of lore and how the world works. Normally I'm not for these kinds of intros since I don't really bother to read the whole thing, but I think you did a pretty good job at making the whole thing interesting with nice storytelling techniques and drawings.
-You set up the main character and conflict really nicely! I like the bit where Flare grabs some bread with her tail but clearly doesn't do it with bad intentions. It's a great scene that subtly tells the audience what kind of person she is, what values, etc. So far her personality is pretty consistent and interesting.
-The conflict you set up is interesting: our main character notices that someone is following her. I feel like this should be a more dramatic moment, since it sets up a confrontation between the 2 characters later on, but it's delivered a bit awkwardly since Flare does a LOT of talking and not so much showing. I think this is something you can improve some more on! Some bits of dialogue aren't necessary if what's being conveyed is already shown visually. For example, Flare says "That weirdo didn't do anything but stare" on page 14. This is nitpicky, but I feel like she didn't have to say that. As readers, we can easily figure out that he's been
1) following her
2) Only staring and not making any moves
3) Possibly dangerous
so dialogue wouldn't really add anything new - in fact, it can slow down the text and make it seem a little clunky and unnatural.
- The SECOND conflict you set up is definitely delivered better. It's much more subtle and also shows what the character's motives and goals are. I'm assuming this is where the REAL story starts, since here is where the readers can actually follow along with Flare and have a reason to care about her.
CHAPTER 2:
-Here, the character introduced in the beginning finally comes head to head with Flare. I like this part, but I feel like it would flow more smoothly if Flare actually acknowledged that this was the guy that's been following her around. She treats him as if he's just another bandit, so there isn't really a sense of danger or stakes here.
-They have a fight, and the mysterious guy turns out to be an Aster (introduced in the beginning lore). Admittedly I did get a little lost here. I was asking myself: Uhh what's an Aster? Why's this important? Why's Flare so surprised? And then I realized that I had completely forgotten what happened in the beginning lore.
-Chapter ends on a cliffhanger, suggesting that it will continue on from the perspective of the blue haired dude. Nice ending!
ART
One thing that stands out is definitely the colors. All the environments are done really well and each has its own mood. The humans are drawn really well also, with the exception of some occasional stiff poses (but that just comes with practice). Something you could experiment with is composition. In a lot of the panels, the characters are right in the center. This makes for some pretty bland composition if it's used over and over again. Symmetry and focus on the center of the page can be used for especially dramatic moments or to cause a feeling of unease, since it's a pretty unnatural angle to put your characters in. If you're going for a more realistic approach, then try switching things up. Place the camera at different angles, toy with the characters' weight on the page. Other than that, it looks great!
TONE
Sometimes is inconsistent, but I mean, with webcomics it's pretty challenging to keep a steady tone unless you've planned REALLY ahead. I would just be a little more careful around the dramatic scenes, since sometimes there are some funny breaks in the middle of what should be an important, serious scene.
Aaand that's all I got! Please take these with a grain of salt - I'm just being super nitpicky so you can improve some more. Good luckkk