My dear, I just subscribed to your comic "Not So Emo" the other day! 4000 people get joy from what you create. You make the world a more enjoyable place to live just by being a part of it every day.
The death of pets, who love unconditionally, is always a heartbreaking thing. I've buried so many little friends--and I've had to throw out a few, too, because there was nothing else to do. But neither a toilet flush nor a viking funeral change how much we loved them while they were here, or how they impacted our lives.
The uni thing sucks, and probably will be for a while, but you'll find your way through it. My oldest friend got kicked out of college after failing all her classes. She struggled to find direction and struggled with her family and friends, until she finally was able to catch herself. She was in a very dark place for a while, and she never went back to college--but now she's got a career she values and a life that makes her proud of herself, filled with pets she loves and all the books she can buy. College stuff can be a mess sometimes, but it isn't the be-all and end-all. People treat it like it is, but it's not.
I have a degree. A completely useless one that has gotten me zero jobs. I'm going back to a cheap community college for a couple of semesters to get a certificate in web development. I haven't even started my first semester yet, and I already have an internship lined up! University is one path, but not the only one. And it's the kind of thing that a person can do whenever they want to. People go back to school in their 40s, 50s, and 60s to change their career paths or to gain new skills.
And I agree 1000% with what so many others have said. Talking to "a professional" (such a cold, clinical word, but they are professionals in their field) is an amazing thing. Many of my dear friends struggle or have struggled with depression. Clinical for some of them, situational for others. Many of them resisted the idea of talking to a therapist or even their doctor for a long time because of the stigma that goes along with having to have a therapist, or the idea that therapists are all quacks, or just the reason that they didn't want to talk to a total stranger about personal stuff.
But they all ended up eventually seeing a therapist at their lowest point, and you know what? All of them STILL talk to their therapist today, even though they are in much better places. Because they like having someone to talk to, someone impartial who doesn't judge, and who actually knows what it's like. Friends and family can't always understand what its like to have depression, but a good therapist does.
And that's the key too, a good therapist. Every once in a while, you'll run into a lousy one. But that's an easy fix; you just stop going to that one, and find another. Don't let the bad apples get you down. Another good friend of mine struggles with serious OCD and anxiety disorders, and she's had to deal with a couple jerk psychiatrists. It doesn't even bother her anymore, she just drops them, and finds a new one. No problem. You're never obligated to stay with someone who isn't helping you.
Not everybody can afford a therapist, of course, and it doesn't work for everyone. It tends to work best in combination with medication. And medication is kind of a dirty word for some people, but honestly? It's a damned miracle. My mom and sister live their lives 100% happier and more stress free with their meds. And they know themselves well enough to be able to self-regulate. They don't take anti-depressants when they're in a good place. If they feel themselves slipping, they go talk to their doctor, get a prescription filled, and take a pill until they feel like they've got it under control again. Easy peasy. My other friend, the one with OCD, is always on her meds, and will be for her whole life, and she couldn't be happier. She is so happy she lives in a world where medication exists and she has access to them. They help her be who she really is, her truest self.
Okay, I'm rambling now. I'm going to leave you with this:
Call 1-800-273-8255
It's the National Suicide Prevention Helpline. It's just a number where you can call and talk if you need to. It's open 24/7, because the people there really do care about you, even if they've never met you before.
I saw in one of your other comics that you translated something from Finnish? If you're Finnish, here's the number to call I found:
Finland: 010 195 202
And there's the link to the website for all the international numbers:
http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines
Here, and even from your friends and family you talk to, you'll get a lot of well meaning but not-super-helpful "Oh, I'm so sorry, hugs and kisses, please feel better!". People care about you, even people you've never met, but when you're in a dark place, platitudes don't really feel very helpful at all. Calling a help-line, talking to your doctor, and looking for a therapist to just have someone smart, not just well-meaning, to talk to is what makes the biggest difference of all.
