You need a mindset shift imo. I find the key to financial or popularity success is down to this: do you have what a certain person(s) needs at the time they need it. This can be applied to geting a studio job (meeting needs of a company at the right time) or an indie artist (needs of the audience on the platform ). That's it. You're numbers success isnt correlated with your creativity, skill or humanity necessarily, so basing your self worth with the market is unnecessary and potentially damaging. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make it as a creative, it brings rewards so keep trying if thats what you want. But attachment to that desire or any desire will cause suffering. Try not to put your sources of happiness and faith in yourself on making it, you are making it more high stakes than needed. If anything treat it as a game or experiment, like in a what will happen if i try thus way. Learn to love the process itself, the more you can get into a flow state the more you realize its just you and your work that matters. I believe in myself because i shed my need to let others have power over what i feel. I considered myself a professional even when i was in between jobs and i no longer see myself as less than people who made more than me with their art. Cause you know something? Life is unpredictable, the creator of lore Olympus said whe she first posted, she couldnt pay people to like her work. Now her work is #1 on webtoon. Not saying im sure it'll happen to you, but it might.
But also accept failure is more common than success, i think your real anxiety comes from uncertainty and not knowing if you can handle not achieving your dreams. I stuggle with this still but yiu must makr peace with some degree of chaos and uncertainty in life anfpd take it into account when planning. Emotional insurance I suppose.
Strive for progess not popularity, lucky for me i love the feeling of progress itself and i base my self esteeem on a growth mindset. Other things i can think of to keep you going is to remember you have a voice, a voice that maybe someone you'll never meet needs to hear through your work. I saw your work, i think you do have a unique voice but i do think its not refined enough to be pro level but you got something promising. Try to aproach it like solving a problem or puzzle than make it personal. You have to also remember tapas is a heavily curated platform so theres a lot goes into success here that has nothing to do with you. I had more luck on webtoon than tapas tbh. Im not a big artist on either one but I have been spotlighted once and consistently made top 30 but Im by no means the most popular or favourited the staff but i dont let it distracr from the sucess i achieved. I genuinely think my work is good, i go back and read it all the time and im genuinely gripped by what i created even if I know what happens. That gives me more confidence than numbers or praise from big wigs. BUT im always looking for new ways to innovate, challenge myself and I make changes to old chapters if need be. I rewrote and redrawn my first 3 episodes and made minor to moderate improvements to my first 10 episodes. Simply because i think my work and my fans deserve it. You can want to improve and still think you are enough. Cause the struggle is guaranteed, the success isnt, find a way to get something valuable from the struggle.
Sincerely, someone whose making a living off freelancing and has been through enough hardship in life to know there's life beyond your personal artistic dreams. Focusing on personal development helped me immensely in my artistic development.
