So hey, I actually fall under that category, and I read BL. As I've worded it in many threads before 'I have a love hate relationship with BL' (also I would love to get this thread BACK ON TOPIC)
The LGBTQ+ community is not black and white. Regardless of how members identify there are individuals under each letter that will like, or hate, BL. And in my experience, seems to be pretty evened out for people that hate or like it. (probably not exactly equal, because I'm also not going to claim to know every person in the LGBTQ+ community, this experience is coming from my specific cliques in the community)
I think what a lot of the issues are coming from is the misunderstanding that has come from a select number of straight fans of BL. (and before I start a fight, no, I don't specifically mean fujoshi I'm not going to throw them under the bus, there are readers that act like that who don't label themselves as fujoshi) A lot of readers confused being a fan of a fetish as being an ally, or supporting the gay community, or that they know all about the gay community because of essentially 'I saw it in my fetish comic' and in my experience this is where I most notice the dislike for BL (in the LGBT+ community) mostly growing from.
Another issue that comes up is that when LGBTQ+ authors are trying to tell LGBTQ+ stories, their label for their content on most websites is 'a fetish label' Again, NOT ALL MEMBERS see this as a fetish label and I'll get into that later, a LOT of people use it as 'LGBTQ+' label because well... they work with what they got, which is usually a choice between 'BL' 'GL' and throwing your work out into the wild of any other genre it might fall under in hopes that LGBTQ+ members will be looking there and find it. Usually, the BL and GL tags win, because regardless of if it's a fetish or not, it's a label that is specific for people LOOKING for content that a LGBT+ series will provide.
The brings us to "not all BL is fetish material" which, regardless of if started out as a fetish, has become something for people use as a 'LGBTQ+' label because well... that audience is there. So not all BL is porn / fetish / kink material anymore, and you get a lot of stories that reach out to the LGBTQ+ community because it's being used as an LGBTQ+ label and NOT a specific romance fetish one. And THIS is likely where a lot of the debate on the topic is growing from. Readers looking for LGBT+ material they found or were introduced through BL due to the meaning of the genre changing, are running into the fetish material and the comments by fans fetishsizing them, and it's making them uncomfortable, which inevitably leads to the discourse in the community of 'how can we make this better' or the more aggressive tone of 'this is not how gay relationships are like AT ALL they're doing it wrong'