Looking for feedback as I shift my comic into a new style

[nathanKmcwilliams]

Hey all.

I normally I shy away from asking for advice or feedback, (I pride myself on being a do it all myself creator) but I have a few questions for those of you who are willing to take a few minutes.

Originally my comic Dragon Sparking was in Pixel-Art, but I've decided to shift into a fusion style that takes both eastern and western styles. Think Sonic Adventure meets Gravity Falls. So I present to you a One Shot I made as the first of shifting DS into that new style.

Dragon Sparking: Dino Orphan | Tapas

What I'm asking for is to see which:

Which Panel(s) is your favorite and looks the best and why?

Which Panel(s) looks the worst and why?

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Admittedly I think overall I'm happy with the way this One Shot looks. I'm proud of it because I pushed myself so hard to get it done in the span of a month. I know there's room for improvement though, particularly in shading and light. (And speech bubbles. I suck at making those xD)

Anyways, thank you for your time, and I'll appreciate anything you have to say, even...negative. I'll bite my tongue on my responses I swear xD

I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.

EDIT a numerical sheet for page reference. Hopefully I counted right

[JRHoch]

Hey there, you might want to number your panels so people can respond more easily.

That said, my least favorite was #4, the black and white panel. It packs the least punch and the drawing isn't compelling enough to thrive without color.

My favorite panel is the one with the text: "Fine. You want openings." I like the textural variation on this one, the flat figure colors against a more modulated background.

[nathanKmcwilliams]

Ooh. Thanks, I didn't even think to number the panels and there's a lot, 8 pages worth xD.

Thank you for the time and feedback. I'll keep it in mind!

@JRHoch thanks for giving me the advice about numbering the pages. Here's a reference for everyone. I'll also add it to the OP (pardon my terrible handwriting.)

[JRHoch]

Oh, and I really like the last panel. It didn't load at first on my tablet.

[nathanKmcwilliams]

The full page shot of Rip running towards the camera with the sunrise behind him?

If you don't mind me asking...Anything in particular stand out or is it just an 'in general the whole thing is good' kind of like?

[writercynknapp]

Sorry, my numbering skills failed me.
I will say that some panels appeared clearer than others (panels with solid color backgrounds). I was more attracted to those panels.
I also see you were trying framing within panels, which can very helpful to scene pacing.
OK, sorry for not having much to say and not being directly responding to to your question.

[nathanKmcwilliams]

@writercynknapp
No worries! I appreciate your time and feedback. Everything helps!

[DualDragons]

Okay, i'll give my feedback now
I wanted to give it earlier but i was kinda busy

My least favourite panel (from my perspective as reader and creator combined) is probably panel 16 from page 2. Rip's punch isn't badly drawn, not at all! It just lacks a little bit of... oomph in my opinion for some reason.
I do want to point out something for the speedlines though which might possibly improve action scenes in the future.

So speedlines are located at the outer edges of the panel. This is to create more of an emphasis on the action scene going on.

Here's an manga example of a action scene with speedlines (from the official nanatsu no taizai manga):

Hope this helps a bit! I'll admit that i have to pay attention to this kind of thing as well

I think i liked panel 74 of page 8 and the end card the most among a number of other panels. Reason why i picked these two is that they create the atmosphere they are supposed to generate with 74 creating a sad feeling to match the goodbye moment and the end card generating that feeling of moving on with life... or something like that. It's hard for me to describe it xD.

Hope this helps you! And happy new year in advance! (I still have another 4 hours to go xd)

[JRHoch]

Yep. It was very well designed. That's what I usually look for in comics art.

[AbelDraws]

First of all, great job for doing all this into one month, it's really impressive.

While I read I took some mental notes of what I think can be improved. You didn't ask for that (I'll give you my fave panel and least fave at the end), but I think it could be helpful.

Summary

• This is the most important thing I think: I read this on mobile and, while I had no problem reading at the beginning, more or less since the parents' backstory started I had to read zooming in to be able to read the dialogues. The font was way too small and there was a lot of dialogue cramped together which made it kinda hard to follow. The pages felt "too heavy", if that makes sense.
  This didn't happent at the beginning so it makes me wonder if you cramped the info because you wanted to reduce the page number.

• I'd also say the lineart needs improvement, but it's obvious you know what you're doing (the action poses are real good and the visual storytelling as well) so it's just a matter of time.
  
  The lineweight is inconsistent, and it's too wide in paces it shouldn't be (like the t-shirt's neck). You did this real fast tho, so it's not weird, it's not too polished. Just try to work it out a bit and the comic should shine even more c:

• Some notes regarding dialogue globes.
  For one, the white space between the text and the border of the globe (image 1 and 2, tell me if it's not clear what I mean with this, but the text should be surronded by the same ammount of white in all directions). There's also (in fewer cases tho) inconsistency in the width of the... you know, those lines that connect one balloong with another, I don't know its name, but it can be seen in the second image.
  

  

Now, my fave panel... It's kinda hard because I really dig most of the action ones, the poses feel super organic most of the time and the action is very clear (mad respect, seriously, I have to learn a lot in that aspect ahskfjsg), but I'll go with this one.

And my second fave. Even tho it's not as action based I really liked how you captured the whole battle in one image.

There was so much text and it was so little it made it less enjoyable tho :c

My least favourite... That's harder to choose. I don't really have any issues with any panel in specific, the only ones I'd qualify as "my least favourites" would be the ones with a lot of dialogue going on, if that counts?

[nathanKmcwilliams]

@DualDragons
Thank dude! I have a love\hate relationship with speedlines xD (mostly when and not to use them). But, I totally get what you're saying on how it would've helped that punch panel out.

Thanks for the time and feedback, it means a lot!

@JRHoch sweet, I'm grateful for that.

@AbelDraws thanks for all that! the extra feedback was super helpful. I was in a rush to get it out by the end of the month, and my biggest concern was honestly on my amount of text and the size of the font. (Plus those damn speech bubbles. I have a lot to learn, but your advice is really appreciated!)

Again, thanks for going above and beyond, your advice is noted as I press forward on my next chapters!

[AbelDraws]

Best of lucks there <3 I'm sure you'll do great

[DualDragons]

No problem! I thought since it's a part of comics i practice quite a bit, i'd might as well throw in what i know and try to use myself