Oh god! So in Puerto Rico, pastel, or pasteles is a holiday dish of super fine, mashed plaintain stuffed with pork and wrapped around in a banana leave before being boiled. Similar to a tamale.
Pastel is actually the term for cake in Mexico. Puerto Ricos use the word bizcocho. APPARENTLY, bizcocho, in some parts of Mexico, is also a dirty word.
IT'S CAKE!
THEY ALL MEAN CAKE!