Thank you! 
I did the same to you. I read and liked 5 chapters.
However, I do agree with Domi. Your sentences are hard to comprehend. You have quite an interesting vocabulary bank, so the thing you need to improve is mostly the sentence structure. When you're writing, do try to read it out loud. Does it make sense? Is it in any way difficult to understand?
You can try by doing the Subject + Verb + anything else that Domi told you as a start, and then explore and expand the structure by combining two sentences, or by changing a sentence into a passive voice. For example, you have two simple sentences: "I approached him." and "He was looking at me.", you can combine it into one as "As he was looking at me, I approached him." You don't need to do that to all your sentences, of course. Some sentences are better left simple, after all.
That being said, I hope I don't come off as rude 
Again, thank you for the likes! I hope the best for your story! Don't give up, continue to write on!
