@ratscout Okay, so I read the first 20 chapters of your story and finally feel like I can give you some solid good feedback. XD Starting off with the world building and plot. From what I experienced when reading your novel, the world building is very thought out, the fantasy-adventure feeling to everything is amazing. It really reminds me of some high fantasy works (like Lord of the Rings) mixed with some slight darker elements to Eory's character and overall feel of the story. I actually really enjoy this combination! To the plot, I can definitely see the purpose in it and how it is slowly building up to high points of events. I think you decided to go with a slow-paced story that follows its path slowly, unlike me who decides to throw everyone onto a rollercoaster ride of feelings . But I do enjoy the slow pace a lot. The only criticism I could give you to that is that it might be a bit too slow paced for some readers on here. I have read quite a few works on here so I know that the plot picks up quickly in most works. But that doesn't mean your plot is not enjoyable, as mentioned, I like the slow build up and it somehow makes me feel relaxed reading it. XD
To the characters & their relationship: I honestly love the way you introduced your characters and how many layers there are to their personality! That is a really great accomplishment because it keeps it interesting to find out more about the characters themselves! I love the relationship Kori & Eory have so far, it is adorable and I feel like Kori truly helped Eory to stay somewhat sane throughout everything. The only thing that I see as a bit problematic is Eory's and Pollyanna's relationship. As mentioned before in a comment, Eory is quite young and sees Pollyanna as someone she isn't. His clear admiration for her can get a bit problematic because of the power he holds over her and the fact he is so much younger than her. I do love the fact he is able to melt her icy heart tho, and as long as their relationship stays wholesome I am not against it.
To sentence flow, grammar etc: For this part I won't go into depth because there isn't much to say to be honest. XD I also aren't native English so I think it isn't in my place to give advice here. Overall, I enjoyed the way you build up your sentences and paragraphs and the way they flow over into each other. It keeps it entertaining and enjoyable and I love your storytelling, you have great talent! For grammar, as said, I can't really give you advice here but I didn't notice anything noticeable. I did see a few spelling mistakes in the earlier chapters but that were just very few and little mistakes that aren't really bad.
My overall opinion: Your novel is very interesting and enjoyable! While it is quite slow paced and takes a while to pick up, I enjoy the adventurous feels of the story and the characters are all growing on me. I definitely will continue to read it to see where this journey will bring Eory! Your novel is amazing and I love the world building so far as well! You have a talent for writing fantasy stories. I am excited to see where this story will go, even though it might take me a while to get through!