Hello, timefigment! Your story has been read, assessed, and listed under the Developing Releases story index on the Archdale Virtual Bookshelf website. Once you hit 20 chapters, you can resubmit your story in order for it to receive a dedicated Story Post and gain increased exposure on the site. 
@delta201 Your story's link is blank/missing.
@lloyd119187 Your story has been read, assessed, and posted on the website!
Usually, I save any remarks exclusive for the Archdale Discord Community, but I felt obliged to share a few quick comments about the story so far.
I noticed that you use a 'nameless Narrator' that directly speaks to the named 'Reader.' I don't suggest doing this as speaking directly to readers breaks the story out of immersion. Also, having them 'nameless' and 'unimportant' in terms of the Narrator's identity brings direct attention to this fact making readers wonder who exactly is the speaker. This becomes distracting while reading. In the end, while the identity might be revealed and be important to the story, there is no reason to withhold some shred of who the Narrator actually is, especially if they do end up being integral to the story. And if they aren't, then all the more not to have a 'named' Narrator speaking directly to a 'named' Reader. I suggest simply going for third person omniscient without speaking directly to the reader in any form.
However, you actually do a better job giving character/individuality to your 'Narrator' than you do the actual characters of the story. This is both a strength and weakness as it dampens the impact of the actual story but demonstrates that you can make distinct personalities.
So, it's back again to naming the narrator and weaving them into the story off the bat about who they are in relation to the story, and you can always withhold the final missing jigsaw puzzle piece about their entire identity and connection to the story itself at the end. An example of a named narrator I recently came across in a book is a grandma speaking to her grandchild. But the grandchild didn't know that the grandmother was related to one of the characters in her story until the end. As the narrator of the story, she had a clear voice and diction that was engaging to listen to but weaved enough into the story to not be wholly distracting/bring out of immersion. I can see you applying something similar like this to your story, and I believe it would greatly benefit from modifying it in this way.
Of course, some of what I'm saying is preference-based, but typically, professional or traditional novels are not written with a 'named, nameless Narrator' speaking directly to a 'named Reader.' This hinges awkwardly between third person narrative and second person narrative which uses 'you' pronouns directed at the reader. That is my advice, so I hope I added some insight!
All the best, and keep at writing!
