I can't believe I wrote part of the final chapter for CPC, albeit very clunky xD
Fading memories of the childhood we spent together, before the world turned to chaos, flooded my melting mind. They were nice, nice times.
I shook my head, clinging to his hair. Looked like he forgot to cut it again. Oh, I couldn't nag him about it anymore.
"I don't want to say goodbye," I whined as sugar-coated tears slid down my cheeks.
Jack nuzzled his face into my neck. "Dammit, that isn't fair. This isn't goodbye, you hear me?" He squeezed tighter, even when my rotten fluids probably stung his wound. "This isn't goodbye," he repeated, voice cracking.
"T-The bite... you'll get infectedâ"
"That doesn't matter. I'm so sorry, Lulu. I was selfish; we both know that." "If I'd known my decision ended like this, I would've..." coughs and shivers interrupted his sentence.
"You've grown up a bit. That's good." Despite the bug not nesting in my head anymore, I could still hear ringing in my ears. "Just promise me something, alright?"
His hands slipped away from my hold. The moment he did, my body slammed onto the ground. Jack gasped, reaching to hoister me back up until I stopped him with my hands.
"It's okay. More importantly," I paused to face my wonderful employees, "Mortem really aren't that bad once you get to know them. Try to get along with them, okay?"
(Wrote something else, idk if it reads horrible)
I wrapped my fingers around the doorknob, then headed inside the hotel. Despite my mind being anywhere but here, my legs led me to the elevator. Who did I eat? Was it a savage? Or someone innocent? A man whoâd done nothing wrong other than get in my way? I bit my nail, tasting blood. This wasn't fair.
He shouldâve known better than to pretend he was a savage. Desperate civilians would've killed him anyways, because he was stupid enough to get drunk. That made his death inevitable, right? No, no, no!
The doors slid open. I stepped inside and jammed the floor I currently lived on. But not before hearing someone call my name. Without looking to the source, I crossed my arms tight. Gravity and guilt sunk my stomach to the ground. Whatever they had to say didn't matter right now.
But i-if what Styke told me was really true, then what did I do? How could I be that stupid? Was there a way to bring him back? Wait, since I bit him, he shouldâve been okay, right? Yeah, he wasnât dead; I saved him! I wasn't a murderer. Couldnât be. But⌠what about the zombies Jack and I slaughtered? What were their last words?
"Oh, Mary," I whispered as her sweet, young face came to mind. She thought, spoke and ate like a civilian. Did that mean they were just like us? Vengeful, starving, and lonely?
Leaning my head against the wall, I sighed. What was I talking aboutâI was a part of them, now. I couldn't be human anymore.
The realization hit me once the doors slid open to reveal a couple waiting by the entrance. I quickly rubbed any oncoming tears from my eyes and rushed by them.
"Excuse me," I croaked before heading down the hall.
I let my fingertips slide across the white wall while sprinting. When I was alive, we ate to survive. Even dead, I still did. Zombies and humansâwere we really that different?
Something changed in me when I fought Dib. I didn't like how he generalized zombies as disgusting, not after Mary gave herself up like that. Theyâweâhad feelings, even if we werenât supposed to. Would Jack understand me when we met again? No, he didn't need to. He would've rather died than try. Hell, I might've too if I wasnât already dead.
I stopped in front of my room and entered without a second thought. The lights were off, the room dimmed by the oncoming night. Once I fell into my white sheets, I curled into a ball. All I could do now was accept my sins. No matter what, I had to survive long enough to see Jack again. If that meant scarfing down people, then so be it. However, my diet had to be on my terms. I couldn't make the same mistakes again.
I gulped, pulling my legs closer to my chest. Maybe Jack was punishing me for wanting to live. I always ate whatever he cooked immediately, even after he told me the ingredients. Maybe this was karma to him. But he⌠he should've been here too, with me! I ate the food, but he cooked it. Didnât that make him just as guilty? So why was I the only one alone?
Tears rolled my cheeks, but I rubbed them away once more. Dead skin clung to my hands. Dammit, dammit, dammit! With each curse screamed in my head, my trembling fist slammed onto the bed. I didn't know what to think, who to be, where to go.
It didn't matter what we ate back then, because we wanted to survive. Humans included. It was just like the past. Jack wouldn't get mad; he had no right to be. Everyone just wanted to live. Humans were selfish creatures. But that didn't excuseâ
Someone knocked on the door, successfully pulling me from my confused state.
I huffed. People needed to stop interrupting my thoughts, dammit. Twisting myself to face the door, I yelled, "Go away."
"I can't."