Still new here, so will you check my new comic give feedbacks?

[oushachan]

this is my first long comic
Strangers-The-Beginning

I've joined webtoon contest, well i'm alittle afraid you know 'cause this is my first, i guess

need your feedback about it

thanx in advance for your time

[libs]

Too much words in a single speech bubble. I feel like you are translating from another language? Because the bubbles are shaped to fit Japanese, which is usually written top to bottom in manga. But it dosent really work for English. You should change the shape of your speech bubbles and also separate the texts so it's easier to read.

Also there are some scenes where you draw the characters as little cartoons. I know it's a joke but it kind of messes with the atmosphere.

As for the characters, they kind of change their emotions/views rather too quickly. For example, Emma is frustrated with the death of the alien but seems to be fine just a moment later. I suggest considering how the events effect each characters, big or small, and how it leads to how they view the next event.

I mainly focused on your story telling because art isn't my specialty Oh and always watch out for grammar mistakes.

I hope you continue your comic and continue to improve. See you around

[DokiDokiTsuna]

Since the storytelling has been taken care of, I'd like to comment on the art! ^^

-First off: Your composition is SOLID. Definitely looks like the work of an artist who's done their research, even if they can't draw everything quite that well yet. I respect that.

-I like the character designs. Even without reading the story, I can tell who's who in every panel, which is important in a B&W comic.

-I think the "chibi panels" are fine. In general, people tend to judge them too harshly, so if you like them don't let anyone guilt you into not using them anymore. Just make sure that they really are there to lighten the mood, or to show when the mood has gotten lighter.

-Your anatomy is mostly pretty good. From the waist up, you're golden, but I suggest you practice drawing people standing and walking, focusing on their hips and legs. I think just that little bit of practice could easily improve the professionalism of the comic's look.

Hope I could help! Ciao~

[oushachan]

be fine

you're right about translating ' cause it was written in arabic

i'm trying to improve the other things ASAP
thanx for feedbacks

[oushachan]

thanx you made my day, really

well about anatomy... i'm trying so hard... and I really need time
appreciate your time and feedback

[audratki]

I'd like to pop in and say I'm not a fan of their names being in quotes. It's driving me nuts. The quotes around their names is making me think they are speaking in some sarcastic tone and I think throws the tone off a bit.

Proofreading it as well would be good; for example, hurt is written as hutr. There were a couple other errors I spotted in chapter 1.

My only concern about the speech bubbles is multiple sentences inside of one of them.

I saved my biggest annoyance for last on the chapter, the opening bit... Isn't that our own universe? There was a whole lot of reading where "A universe much like our own, with a planet just like ours..." would've accomplished the same thing.

I'm off to read the rest of it, but I'll do so on Webtoon since you said it was for the contest.

[oushachan]

thank you for your feedback , well "names in quotes" I mean it to be different that's all...
and the opening was just for what is coming next...

about speech bubbles, yea you right... it drives me crazy every time I look at it

thanx i'll try my best

[audratki]

It was easy to add into my brain to ignore it when I finished reading it all on Webtoons. I ended up subbing it. I'm really curious to see how the story unfolds.

[oushachan]

yay , I won't let you down...
I hope i can do that

thanx for the sub