The last time I asked for dialogue critique, I got the response that the dialogue was good and that it portrayed the emotions properly. I'm glad that I got what I wanted there, but that was one of the easier scenes as it was a grandpa giving advise to his granddaughter. I've now gotten to the point where I'm getting into magical fantasy exposition and I'm wondering if its coming off right.
(This is the fourteenth chapter so BIG spoilers if you care.)
You don't have to read the descriptions if you don't want to. The main thing I was worried about was if the exposition and personality of the characters came through.
Let me know what you think below.