I've recently read a poignant analysis by someone on twitter: they said that, for privileged people, politics is just a game—a debate. Not using "privileged" to dig at someone here, of course, since I am privileged in a lot of other things other than my sexuality or gender. I am white, for one. And I, too, tended to ask for proof, even in informal settings, because politics wasn't life or death for me.
It still isn't. Yet. But looking at what politics can do to trans people, and how policies can literally kill them, I get tired of debate, and eager to listen and spread trans people's experiences.
And I think that's a point we have to reach for everyone who's more privileged. Give them space to learn, but also make sure they realize that their debate is often pointless. A lived reality between life and death can't be debated, period. And fascist regimes have shown to always, always, come for trans people first. The amount of literature about trans experiences that was burnt in Germany is staggering, especially considering that Germany was fairly trans-friendly between the two World Wars (relatively, of course...).
Seeing what is happening now in the USA is, well... we're past the point of "never again". So everything that someone from the alt-right says?f It's not worth a debate. Because their "debate" is a fun game for them—on the back of lives. We should NOT indulge this. Acting as if every position is on the same level only validates hate and death, and that is not an exaggeration.
EDIT: Ah yes, one more thing:
Expecting people to always conform to your standards of logic and rationality, and to never get emotional, while you are sitting in your privileged position, is... woof. It's rude and invalidating because, again, politics isn't a game for most people.
Okay, back to topic.
Ugh, I am sorry you had to sit through this. It's mind-boggling that these absurd talking points are still repeated, and I despise every "feminist" who takes them up to invalidate your and other trans people's experiences. -_-
Hmm. I've talked to many trans folks who emphasized that requiring dysphoria for them to be seen as valid can be very harmful. I'm sure you've heard of the term transmedicalist. I've seen the argument that demanding proof of gender dysphoria (or even expecting every trans person to experience it) is gatekeeping, and that the most important thing for some people is gender euphoria, which they feel isn't talked about enough.
So I wouldn't say it's a myth that dysphoria is not always needed to be trans, because I KNOW people who aren't dysphoric, yet still trans. And why would we deny them their own experience and identity?