120 / 141
Jul 2022

I have a dozen of various m+m stories that I have begun writing, and my mind can't decide which one it should focus on!!!!

Another gay romance novel? Another gay PWP story? Which one?! I CAN'T DECIDE!!!
When I open the romance file, my mind brainstorm on some PWP scene. When I open the PWP file, my mind thinks of some sweet scene for the romance story. :tired_face: Arrrgh!

Instead or writing, I'm spending my time re-reading the stories I enjoy. :pensive:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHG

FUCK

I HATE it when people press the elevator button and then DON"T GET ON EVEN AS THE DOOR CLOSES, which makes me think THEY"RE NOT FUCKING GETTING ON so I get on and they GET ON AFTER ME.

THERE"S A REASON I WANT TO GET ON AFTER YOU

I"M GOING TO THE FUCKING TOP FLOOR AND I"M CARRYING A SHITTON OF BAGS AND WE"RE ENTERING THROUGH THE ELEVATOR"S REAR DOOR

also

I feel incredibly creeped out in general when people stand too close behind me, and I know this is weird and I don't want to be like this either and I know the other person doesn't know this and don't worry, I didn't take it out on them. but still. *****ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH*****

I LOVE THIS DRAWING!!!


Seriously, I'm proud of myself! This is going to go so great with the lyrics I wrote.
Oh, and if you're not satisfied with that scream, here's Ink just yelling at Fresh.

25 days later

When you forget to turn on restricted mode and an ad for underwear or something comes on you can't skip :scream:

1 month later

Me: just trying to listen to music
My busted speakers and/or my headphones I've stomped too many times dancing: Hey, let's glitch out and act all whacky! I'm sure we won't blow out her eardrums!
Me: AAAAAHHH WHAT THE HECK

aaahhh i super want this in game cosmetic but i havent got enough of one specific item for it and it's literally driving me nuts especially since today is the last day to nab it!!! :cry_02:

also bummed that i probably wont be able to get splatoon 3 by release so now i gotta avoid spoilers even more D'X

BOI
I felt this SO HARD one time!
I had to collect so many keys to open a chest to get a costume for a little pet mouse I had.
On the very last day, I finally got all the keys.
I opened the chest, and inside, I found...
Another chest.
I'm not ashamed to admit I rage-quit the game after that.
I missed my mouse though, so I sewed a little plushie of it. It looks... nothing like the original, but IDC.

MOOD! what gets me is my problem is a pretty easy fix but the double edged sword is it's a social game so if you don't have active friends or your not interacting with folks your eventually punished by not really being able access items coz "oops sorry you'll need a pal to give you that"

like UGH i love the games setting and lore and stuff but the social aspect just pulls me out of it sometimes xC

27 days later

REEEEE
I accidentally powered off my computer and lost all my progress on the page I was working on!
At least now I know not to PNG it until I'm sure I don't need layers anymore... ouch, what a hassle!

Interestingly enough, it motivated me to completely redo and finish the page in like two days, so that's something :joy:

my therapist said I MIGHT have ocd, she's not allowed to diagnose me, I need a neuropsych for that. but mfw I draw so much it's considered a compulsion
It actually made me feel quite bad for drawing. kinda guilty somehow ahah

being back on the job market is exactly the nightmare i thought it would be and struggling to find art/commission work is making it worse especially when bills and other expenses are looming over

like i wanna stay positive but its hard and most words of encouragement feel more placating or demeaning than anything

god why did we wanna grow up so fast as kids :upside_down:

My brother wants to make his own comic series which is perfectly fine everything individually he wants to do is perfectly fine by me so why am I so TRIGGERED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

wishing i could be more forgiving of myself and of my body in accepting that it has limits and that it's okay to rest rather than feeling like i'm never doing enough to keep up with others like "stop beating urself up dummy you can go ur own pace its okay!!!"

This week is fucking mad. Feel less prepared for my history exam than I had thought, I got two stories to read for english and I feel I wont have time to work animation project for Animation class. And I wont have time to work on my comic that's really bugging me because, even though school always prevents me from updating, I still feel bad for not updating as frequently because I've been notoriously slow. And I wouldnt be working on my latest update now if I didnt get artlblock in August when I started.

Also I feel like my comic isnt welcome on tapas but thats whole other can of worms :sweat_01: