When it comes to writing interesting descriptions of settings, my main trick is to fall back on my love for poetry. There's really less divide between poetry and prose than we might think, and the way poetry teaches us to describe settings, less directly as they are, but more with imagery that gives the IDEA of what they are, or with how they make us feel, even if the words seem out of place in the context, to cause stronger contrast, is definitely useful tool to have in any writers belt, and an intricate part of my writing process.
(Examples: The frozen night gnaws at my face like it hasn’t eaten in days, alive with a bouquet of red currants, and fanfare. The smell of perfume slips silently out of the after-party and down the spiral staircase, escaping through the closed door in lusty drafts like a flower garden on steroids. Our footsteps echo - too loud in the crowded, solitary parking garage. Everything feels amplified tonight, and yet far away - like I’m listening to - reaching out and existing through a glass wall. The click of my high-heels on the concrete… The heartbeat of the alcohol in my bloodstream…
*
When he speaks again his tone makes my stomach churn with delicate horror.)
When it comes to humor my number one tip is definitely to know your characters, the only way to naturally write jokes into a scene, especially when there doesn't seem to be a real setup for the joke is to know your characters sense of humor. Of course 'writing like people actually speak' is an over used writing tip, as it would make things really boring, but when jokes are made in conversation, it has to be because the characters were able to find humor in the situation, or whatever was said previously.
(Examples:
“Geez, my feet are killing me,” I moan, as we head back to the office, our footsteps multiplying into thunder from the echoes.
“‘I live in high heels’ she said ‘It’ll be fine she said,’” Shannon teases, “I’m going to start calling you Monica.”
I roll my eyes at the 'Friends' reference, raising my fist at him with mocking severity and smiling in spite of the soreness.
"I will take these off and crucify you with them."
*
Shannon’s office is arranged differently than usual when I arrive around noon, on Wednesday morning. For one thing, there’s a copy of my white lion piece “Snow,” on an easel beside what looks a lot like a black high chair, the kind directors sit in for interviews.
“Excuse me, Mr. Man,” I nag, hands on my hips as he comes in sipping a cup of coffee, “but how exactly do you expect me to get up there in pumps?”
“Well, there are two or three ways.” He smirks, setting the cup down on his desk, and wiping the condensation onto his cable-knit sweater. “I can put my hands together and help you step up or you can take the heels off and climb up like a five-year-old in Mickey Dees play place.”
I roll my eyes.
“First of all, that’s only two ways, and I’m pretty sure my shoes would stab straight through your palms if we tried the first one, and you’d have to spend the rest of the day looking like Christ.”
“Just take the shoes off and I’ll help you put them back on once you’re seated.”
I shake my head, but step out of the heels, and climb up onto the chair.
As Shannon slides the right shoe back onto my dangling foot he quips:
“If the magic slipper fits…”
“Hah.”
“It works! We won’t have to remove any toes.”
Eliza: (energetically) If you're tired of being assaulted by your curls every time the rubber band snaps and rockets across the room faster than a speeding bullet, (intensely, almost angrily, with irritation) or breaking comb after comb after comb, (brightly) then “Lion Proof” is for you - a hair care brand that’s made for, not just bearing with, your beautiful mane. (as if rambling) Well, not your beautiful mane - but the beautiful mane of the actual target audience, which is not you.
Ruby: (flatly, but mildly sarcastically) Well, for the 40% of the population who won’t be offended by that, it’s a good slogan. (with slightly more energy, sfx footsteps approaching) But you do realize this is going to be an expensive undertaking, right? Unless- (in obvious pain) OH OW! Dude! When I said I wanted coffee I didn’t mean instead of my mouth!
Aaron: (flatly) It might be a little hot.
Eliza: He just drinks it like that.
Ruby: (venomously, in a low voice) Yeah I’m not surprised.
Aaron: (defensively) It’s called hot coffee, not lukewarm coffee.
Ruby: It’s also called “second degree burns.” This is like Vesuvius in a cup.
Eliza: We’ll call it a Pompeii, two shots of espresso in boiling water-
Aaron: (cutting in) Woah - No more business ideas allowed. We have enough on our plate already with these lion…proof rubber bands. I think Ruby had some points she wanted to make?
Ruby: (sfx setting down a cup) Right. First of all, unless you have a double life I know nothing about, you’re not a chemist. You’re going to have to hire a team to formulate a better hair tie. You’re going to have to pay for a domain name and set up an online store, get models for the products unless you’re going to model them all yourself. You’ll have to market the company. Even if you use all of your collective money-
Aaron: (nervously) -Which is not an option right?
Ruby: -You probably still won’t have enough to even finalize the product designs. You’re gonna need at least one angel investor, if not several.
Eliza: True…(pensively) someone who would be interested in working with small brands with niche markets… Hey, what about that company you work for? Queen Co.
Ruby: (warily) No…
Eliza: (excitedly) They’re always looking to invest in minority run start ups, especially one’s run by women-
Ruby: (emphatically) Women aren’t a minority! We’re like 49% of the population-
Aaron: (diplomatically) Which is still less than half, technically making you the minority…
Eliza: (condescendingly) Shh shh shh. I’m entrepreneuralizing. If Queen Co. is willing to be an angel investor for my brand, I’d be able to start formulating the hair ties. I know quite a bit about their company mission already, and it wouldn’t be nepotism cuz you work at the bottom of the ladder.
Ruby: (with irritation) Yeah…thank you…for that…