Topic of the Day: What is your ocs favorite thing about their sweetheart? : The romance/relationship writing thread (all romance, all the time) (but sfw tho.)

Leyelle 2024-01-26 01:30:49 UTC #21

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)

Leyelle 2024-01-26 02:34:24 UTC #22

Is it possible to write a "realistic" whirlwhind romance? IMAO, it's possible to a certain extent. In the space of a few days, or weeks, you can definitely get to know someone pretty well and even "fall in love," but it definitely depends on the depth of the interactions that takes place in that time. That is an aspect I think a lot of whirlwind romances are missing that makes them seem so ridiculous. if you're going to fall madly in love with someone in two weeks, you have to have some conversations that go way deeper than the emotional surface and touch the core of who you are, allowing vulnerability and connection. Most people can't have these kind of conversations with strangers, so I would consider that pretty unlikely, but assuming you could, I guess it's possible. It's like one of those "questions that lead to love things."

that being said, there is still a different sort of depth and connection that comes from long standing friendships/relationships, standing with each other through numerous struggles and coming out on the other side together. But unless you meet in a war zone or alien apocalypse (possible i suppose in a story) that level of connection will probably not happen in three days, so I say that level of "being in love," is probably not possible in that short a stretch of time.

cherrystark 2024-01-26 06:05:55 UTC #23

I think it's definitely possible to write whirlwind romances but you have to be smart/logical about it. In my main series, the MC and her husband essentially start "dating" from the minute they meet. They like to spend time together which led them to falling in love. The characters fit naturally together, so a romance made sense.

In my culture, it's not unheard of for couples to marry within a few weeks of knowing each other. A lot of their relationships could be called "whirlwind". But no one talks about how they spent all their free time together before becoming official. I saw a video once that said men know they want to be with you after 30 days. If that theory holds any truth and marriage is not endgame, whirlwind relationships make sense. A lot of the "steps" in modern western relationships don't make sense. If someone truly cares about you, they're going to show up. Period.

Lensing 2024-01-26 07:42:14 UTC #24

I´m not sure what you mean with "external"
The conflicts in the stories I´m writing are all emotinal
and I make my characters suffer

kyupol 2024-01-26 08:48:18 UTC #25

Near identical... his eye level is a bit lower because he's not standing straight.

KevinReijnders 2024-01-26 09:05:42 UTC #26

External, the way I see it, is a different person or force causing the conflict.

In terms of a romantic plot, for example a parent forbidding their child from going out.

Lensing 2024-01-26 10:10:34 UTC #27

Thank you, in that case it´s always an external reason which leads to a conflict for my characters

Leyelle 2024-01-26 17:24:17 UTC #28

What "steps" are you referring to that you feel make no sense?

cherrystark 2024-01-26 18:28:57 UTC #29

So the "steps" would be like the "talking" phase, the "hanging out" phase, the "situationship" phase, the "friends with benefits" stage etc. All of that could take years before they decide to move in together, the couple might have a few kids together, before marriage is even talked about. I know people have different takes on marriage and family, but it just seems silly to waste so much time on someone who fundamentally doesn't want what you want. When on the flip side, you could know a person for two weeks, gone on three dates with them, and they're the person there willingly and happily taking care of you when you're sick, helping you babysit your nieces and nephews, and planning your grandpa's funeral, etc without demanding anything from you s*xually. If you're life goals are the same, why not be together? - hence the whirlwind romance.

In storytelling, it goes back to what I was saying about being smart/local about it. A lot of romcom couples won't work out in the long run because their relationship was just a game. I opted not to do a will they/won't they couple in my work because the relationship becomes a source for drama which in real life usually equals toxicity. If they like each other, work well together, and face problems together as a unit - why not put them together? One of my favorite male leads, his way of professing his sincere love for his partner was by being there for her - she went through chemotherapy - he was there holding her hand. She wanted to settle down and become a mom, he volunteered to be her kids' dad and support her every step of the way. To me, those couples will never be corny.

Leyelle 2024-01-26 18:47:11 UTC #30

So, it's very easy to fall into the trap of coming across as corny any time you describe emotions, especially emotions that have to do with romance. How do you avoid that? (other than leaving out any variation of the phrase "heart thumping.")

For my story, Alicia's feelings for Kattar are not actually pleasant for either of them, so this does help. I don't have to describe the feelings in gentle ways, but more as painful sensations.

“It’s no problem,” he said sincerely, pulling his hair back into an almost ponytail before letting it fall again, still burning beneath the surface, and pale at the same time, “I’ll check in on you later.”

cherrystark 2024-01-26 19:33:48 UTC #31

Behavior! This is actually a great place where the standard "show not tell" advice comes into play. So for your example, you could rework it to be something like:

He combed his fingers through his hair, pulling it into a near-perfect ponytail before letting it fall around his shoulders again. His eyes shone with unshed tears. "It's not a problem," he muttered, his eyes fixed on the ground. He turned toward the open door. "Get some rest. I'll come check on you later."

Description is a great way to take the "corniness" out of your writing. It's okay sometimes to take a 4-5 sentences to show how a character is saying something. In your example sentence, there are some syntax issues, so your sentence doesn't make a ton of sense - how can his hair be burning and pale? But by pulling back and describing the behavior, it becomes a lot easier to describe that he's an emotional wreck trying to keep it together for his scene partner. Readers can then use the descriptions to infer exactly how he feels about them.

KevinReijnders 2024-01-26 19:43:09 UTC #32

Well because I'm making a comic, I have the luxury (or maybe the misfortune?) of not having to describe emotions in words. I pretty much entirely rely on visual cues, with some dialogue sprinkled in off course.

As to not make it feel corny? I have no idea truth be told haha. I kinda just write it from the gut and my own experiences and hope it doesn't come across as cringy as all hell haha. I have had a friend read a part of the script that heavily deal with the brewing romantic tension, to get a 2nd opinion and get over that "is this cringy?" stage.

One of the things that I try to do, is have the romance subplot tie in heavily with the ongoing character conflict, so that you're seeing more than one thing take place in the scene. Which in turn, I think, might take some of the corniness out of it.

That said, I do think sometime you just gotta go full corn-mode and accept the cringe. Both my characters are hella awkward when it comes to these feelings of love and romance (yeah, that was taken from real life as well haha) so you as a reader also gotta feel that awkwardness going through the scene(s). From my own experiences I have noticed that the stuff you normally find super corney in others, you are totally on board with when you're doing them yourself. So I think as a writer you can lean into that.

Leyelle 2024-01-26 21:42:08 UTC #33

I actually wasn't looking for a rephrasing of this scene, lol. It was actually for everyone to share how they personally overcome these struggles. "Burning and pale" at the same time was an intentional dichotomy, though I don't doubt there were some syntax errors I need to correct since my punctuation isn't great.

Leyelle 2024-01-26 21:43:59 UTC #34

i did the same think lol, the scene in "Burgundy" actually leads to the creation of the painting that the whole story spirals from

cherrystark 2024-01-26 21:51:03 UTC #35

Oh, I figured you weren't looking for the line to be rephrased. Sorry if I caused any offense. I only rephrased it to show how I personally handle those kinds of struggles. For me, I still rely on behavior to work through those awkward moments when you don't know how to describe an emotion or you feel like you're being overflowery when describing it.

Leyelle 2024-01-26 21:55:07 UTC #36

Your writing style looks really smooth. and it's no problem. my story is meant to be something like a poem, so I intentionally use dichotomies to create emotional contrast. "burning and pale" literally makes no sense, but in the scene it represents the sort of nervous sickness he feels as he's also fighting his feelings for her.

What's your story called actually? I'm really curious cuz I like the way you write.

RNJayne 2024-01-26 22:15:09 UTC #37

Are you meaning to imply Kattar's face is "burning and pale," his hair, his heart, or something else? I get your style is more esoteric than your average novel writer's, but I was confused when I read this extract. A simple grammatical fix (separating the sentences, thus eradicating the potential of a dangling or misplaced modifier) could clear up the reader's puzzlement without compromising your voice.

I agree with @cherrystark's suggestion to show rather than tell; your sentence will achieve that if you rework it.

Leyelle 2024-01-26 22:17:06 UTC #38

to say that his face was burning. though i do think it makes more sense with the context, because it already said that his face was burning, so when you say "still burning" you know it has to be referring to what was already burning. though yeah, i probably need to fix my punctuation somehow, though I'm not sure how.

RNJayne 2024-01-26 22:24:00 UTC #39

OK, that's what I thought. And yes, I meant to mention the context aspect, so well noted.

I can offer you suggestions for punctuation/grammar for this sentence

if you like.

Leyelle 2024-01-26 22:24:50 UTC #40

yes, if you would, i'm open to hear it. How do you think the punctuation would work better?