Topic of the Day: What is your ocs favorite thing about their sweetheart? : The romance/relationship writing thread (all romance, all the time) (but sfw tho.)

[Leyelle]

In "Damsel in the Red Dress" Alicia usually describes her feelings for Kattar as fire or burning. This is both because the feelings are intense, but also because they're almost insufferable. She doesn't want to have feelings for him, so they are painful and unpleasant.

From Kattar's side, we don't get to hear his narration, only see his reactions, but we do get to see a couple of teasers, they aren't very unclear, because, interestingly enough, Alicia knows that Kattar likes her, and is just trying to ignore it, she can divine his reactions for what they are, even though they are subtle.

*
“I don’t remember that dress,” he says a little breathlessly, smiling brightly, “It’s nice.”

*

I come forward anyway and sit down on the couch beside his chair. I catch the moment when he notices the scent of spices - try to hold onto the sudden change in his color and expression - as it slips through my fingers like steam, and he relapses into his heavy sadness - heavier still if that’s even possible, and darker.

“You put on perfume-?” It’s an accusation instead of a question, still, I smile painfully, hoping to pull him out of his shell.

[Leyelle]

I don't have any secondary female leads in either of my romances at the moment, but one thing I have noticed that makes them significantly different from male leads is that secondary female leads always seem to be popular girls (or possibly even the male leads current girlfriend) who are always trying to control the male lead until he ultimately dumps or rejects her for the female lead. Is that weird to anyone else?

The only exceptions to that trope that I've seen are the other girls who crush on Takeo in "My Love Story." but maybe other people have seen more or other examples?

Tbh, I very rarely write these, and if I do, it's one of those things where I'm intentionally spinning a trope. I mean, in "Damsel in the Red Dress" and "Hushabye Prince," lots of girls find bother Jinwoo and Kattar attractive, but there isn't any real competition in either case. Kattar has rejected every girl who asked him out (kindly) his entire life. And Jinwoo doesn't really understand the concept of flirting, so any girl who didn't ask him out overtly would pretty much be ignored. As of yet, no one has had the guts to try to be that bold.

[Laurent]

My main secondary female lead is Ona, and she is not a romantic interest, more like survival helper and "teacher".
Nymre, though... she is a jealous and possessive fae, but she is not dumped for any lead She stays important for her lover.

[Leyelle]

I agree, I don't find relationships like that corny either, and it's something along the lines of how I tend to write them myself. I prefer writing romances that are about couples that decide they want to be together permanently, not relationships that are just a game. However, I do think it would be very difficult, if not inherently impossible, to learn all you should probably know about each other BEFORE establishing a permanent relationship, in an extremely short amount of time. If nothing else because most adults with jobs don't have time to talk non-stop for three weeks. And people have a lot of trauma, so subtle even sometimes that the owner of that trauma doesn't even remember it all at all times, and certain things should probably be addressed before the relationship becomes too serious, if nothing else (assuming the lovers are willing to deal with each other's trauma) so they can not be blind-sided by these things when they come up.

[cherrystark]

I think today's society is too trauma focused and use it as a crutch in a lot of cases to skirt around personal growth. To a degree, things are only traumatic if you let them be.

While I agree its impossible to know everything about a person before committing to a permanent relationship, I think it's better to shift your mindset to working as a "unit". It should be you and your partner against the problem. A lot of problems pop up because people tend to treat their partners like roommates they share a bed with or obstacles. Those stories get tedious to read.

[Leyelle]

I agree with working as a unit, but acknowledging trauma isn't an excuse to avoid personal growth, you have to acknowledge trauma to be able to work through it.

[cherrystark]

but acknowledging trauma isn't an excuse to avoid personal growth, you have to acknowledge trauma to be able to work through it.

In general, I agree with you. I just noticed that recently a lot of the talk about mental health is more about being "happy" than healing. So people tend to find solace in things like relationships, shopping, pets, etc. They never really ever work through issues and they avoid growth by making an identity from their trauma. (I've seen this happen a lot in romances.) But in my own life, my therapist helped me develop tools to analyze situations better, so even when I look back on a trying part of my life - it may hurt but it's not trauma.

[Leyelle]

well yes, when you heal from it it doesn't have to be trauma any more. But that doesn't mean that acknowledging your suffering as trauma in it's current state is the same as excusing avoiding recovery. Acknowledging that someone hit you and it made you scared of being around them is not the same thing as choosing to be fearful for the rest of your life. Trauma is an automatic response, but you can still choose to recover from it, and yes, you definitely should not accept it and make it your identity

[Leyelle]

Obviously, the point of writing is not to be realistic, but maybe this idea is so hard to pull of because most real people never have tons of people who would want to date or marry them at the same time. Unless they're pop stars.

That being said, does anyone know of any series, you can suggest your own, that have managed to have more than two people interested in a character without it seeming a little corny.

(I say this while knowing that about a thousand girls had crushes on Kattar throughout his school years, but since the story is set way after that, and it never escalated to harem anime level anyway, I'm not quite sure that counts.)

[Leyelle]

I'll start with appearance and then personalities:

Alicia: I can't say she was inspired by any specific person, just an overall combination of Hispanic and Native American traits with the added desire to give her a rather doll-like appearance, which adds to her damsel image, and will throw that damsel image when pretty and shy is no longer the only side of her readers get to see.

Her personality is in someways inspired by me (numb and rather depressed at times, and thusly unmotivated, especially for self care, yet also creative. Very messy. Body image struggles. Abandonment/mommy-issues and trauma, etc.) Other parts of her personality are more based on people I know who have suffered from social anxiety and such.

Kattar: Visually is inspired, again, a lot by Hispanics I've seen in my own country (though Mexicans look very different from us generally) as well as Korean features, such as his very slanted eyes and sharp nose. (this portion of his appearance was inspired by Hwang Hyunjin, but his complexion (at least when he's healthy) is much browner, courtesy of his Mexican mom.)

His personality is not inspired by anyone I can trace, at least at the moment, though parts of his trauma are, again, inspired by my own, or that of people I know personally, which definitely inspires his actions. So perhaps I could say his desire to prove his mom's opinions wrong is also based on myself.

Something of a character description for each of them can be seen here: https://tapas.io/episode/3049986.

And here: https://tapas.io/episode/3026452

Jinwoo's physical appearance was inspired by Yoon Jeonghan. That's basically it. Though it was also designed to reflect the dichotomy of his character - silver hair but wearing cute baby blue sweaters, and accessories with cartoon faces on them and such.

His personality was largely my own imagination: love for fairy tales, art, cards, etc. But in part it's based on one of my cousins, the son of one of my mother's teachers, and people i've seen in videos online.

Kimberly's physical appearance is inspired by pictures of blond haired Melanesian people I saw years ago that stuck with me, as well as african american traits and features. though her fashion statement was designed to reflect her princess-y role in the story.

Her personality in a lot of ways is made up of parts of my own, but since that's a bit of a secret, I can't spoil it yet.

Read Hushabye Prince :: Mini 01 | Tapas Comics

[Leyelle]

Kattar: Probably his biggest qualm with Alicia is her poor style. Legitimately, he doesn't have many things he dislikes about her, at least that he thinks of often, though he's kind of bugged by the times when she acts surprised to know he thinks, or can be introspective.

Alicia: Has quite a few qualms with Kattar actually. His tendency to stay quiet, to lie to hide his feelings, to try to manipulate her or guilt her into behaving differently. All pretty awful tendencies he picked up from always having his own way, and not being used to being denied what he wants.

*

Aaron: Eliza's impulsiveness and unwillingness to listen to reason really bugs him.

Eliza: Aaron joking when she's annoyed or upset gets on her nerves.

[Leyelle]

Kattar's been a little idiot so he has a lot to undo, but if he could only fix one thing, he probably would have confessed to Alicia when he went to comfort her after her break-up. Why not sooner? Well, you'll find out later.

Alicia: Not directly related to Kattar, but affecting their relationship, she never would have dated Etan, and just waited for Kattar to get over himself.

[Leyelle]

unrelated, but here are Kim and Jinwoo together

[KevinReijnders]

Well... if you wanna know their regrets you're gonna have to actually read Trespasser and stick with me on this journey for the next 5 - 10 years I'm afraid haha.

Read Trespasser | Tapas Web Comics

[2DLenzy]

I wanna guilt trip my chars and expose their sins SO bad, but it's too early ! Gotta get more into their backstories, but I keep getting blindsided by life and story epiphanies...and new chars...It might be another year or two before I get there. But I will get there.

[Leyelle]

ten years? I'll die of suspense by then!!!

[KevinReijnders]

ten years? I'll die of suspense by then!!!

Making a comic is long and hard work
The fact that I managed to pump out two whole chapters and a short story in 4,5 years is amazing haha.

but I keep getting blindsided by life

This one especially! Life has managed to throw a wrench in my most careful laid out plans

[Leyelle]

lol, several of my characters regrets (at least in "Damsel in the Red Dress") are already out there, but there are more coming. They're nearly thirty, that's a lot of time to accumulate regret. Though tbh, most of what's left is more trauma, nearly any flashback if their teenage years is gonna be something either Kattar or Alicia regret.

[Leyelle]

tbh, coming up with a thousand new ideas all the time is heaven, not a nightmare. I'm overhear stressing that all i HAVE is plot points and i don't know what to do once those are over

[Leyelle]

Making a comic is long and hard work The fact that I managed to pump out two whole chapters and a short story in 4,5 years is amazing haha.

I know i know, i'll be patient. My partner (the artist) is stressed as it is with a whole bunch of tools she's using to help her speed up the process. I have zero idea what time savers you might have, but please don't kill your hands (or get carpel tunnel before we get to see how the story ends)