Why Do Writer Keep Falling Into This Trap?

@cherrystark Cherry Stark
Sun, 15 Nov 2020 17:35:30 +0000

@cherrystark wrote:

Readers need more examples of the "gray" areas when it comes to stories of overcoming adversity and abuse. Alot of stories jump from the metaphorical blackest black tragic backstory to the metaphorical whitest white everything is now perfect recovery. The "gray" areas would be the smaller things like leaving a bad job for a better one, etc.

I am a big advocate for more examples in literature of positive examples of mental health and healing. The scares of abuse will linger. From my experience, I learned how many "coping" mechanisms I developed to survive my experience. Five months later, I still find myself falling into those behaviors and I'm in a much healthier environment.

I think a lot of writers equate having a tragic backstory with making a strong character. Since how can a character get "closure" without becoming a warrior type and screaming about their feelings to the person who hurt them in an epic battle. A person/character isn't any less strong when they forgive the abuser and move on. (This is more for mental health and sanity than anything)

I also think people misconstrue/portray what we're supposed to learn from trials and the types of strength we develop. Strength isn't just physical. After removing myself from a couple toxic relationships, I can honestly say that I'm stronger. I learned more about myself and how NOT to treat people. I learned how to stand up for myself and ask for help (things I wasn't allowed to do in the past.) I learned that I'm valuable and people care for me, for me and not what I do for them. I don't thank the abusers for teaching me this. I do have a form of gratitude for my experience because of the growth I achieved.