I don't wanna be a negative person. My social worker today told me that from everything she's observed of me, I'm a positive person. I kept holding the door open for her. I don't wanna be a bad person!
I'm so bad at reading cues.
Since the lady posted screenshots of my private messages on her twitter, well here's the last thing she told me before she suddenly started saying that I was bothering her without saying any reason at all (so I assume its partly because she vented about me to my ex-friend for 15 years that makes everyone hate me and like him instead that I blocked a year ago, since she never gave me a reason, like she's too embarrassed to tell me that the reason is that he brainwashed her into hating me for no reason, or maybe because she wants me to save her from her girlfriends and friends that I assume are trying to tell her that she shouldn't be friends with me after she vented about me to them without the full context of the story:)
"But yeah I don’t hate you or anything! I was glad to get a message from you, and excited to see that you sent it sober! I’m glad you were able to work up the nerve on your own, that’s awesome! But yeah I don’t hate you or anything!
[I edited out the middle of the letter here, cuz I don't wanna paste too much stuff someone else said without asking them first]
But yeah! I totally appreciate you going through all of the trouble and messaging me! Sorry I got kind of long-winded. I actually might not respond to the others after all since it seems a bit redundant now–but if there was anything particular you wanted me to address let me know!
I’ll probably resend refs again soon!"
That was her last message before she suddenly told me "Don't you see what you're doing...?" and told me to leave her alone (and I did. until a year later when I saw her screenshots of me, and I sometimes said that I know I can't be forgiven but I still want to say I'm sorry in any case and to please take down the screenshots of me from her Twitter) and I had no idea I was being such a bother to her.
As I found out a year and four months later when I noticed the screenshots, that she was calling me negative stuff on her public Twitter while posting screenshots of me and saying that its creepy that I'm in my thirties (I'm 31 but the person that sent her the first screenshot of me, my ex-best friend for 15 years, is 32 years old and he always said very sexual jokes about her to me.
They kept sharing screenshots of me, and when I finally showed them a picture of him sexualizing her less than a week beforehand from that time, he said he "doesn't remember it." And now he keeps begging me to be his friend "as long as I don't show others what a monster he is : (" but he's the one that did that to me.
When the person that posted screenshots of me's girlfriend messaged me on Tumblr and asked me to delete the vent about everything that happened with us, I did delete those posts and I stopped posting about her for awhile on tumblr and reddit. But I asked the person to take down the screenshots of me, and she never did.
Someone told me in high school that all males are corrupted jerks that just love Cuss words and Thongs and Sex stuff and Making out with random people only because "They look hawt and sexy XD" and that all females are cute adorable innocent fairies that love cute things like the girl I had a crush on that had a minnie mouse hairpin in her hair in high school, and like my ex-girlfriend that always yelled at me for saying words like "stinks" and "sucks" cuz she told me it's not "G-rated enough" and I wish I was born a female. I don't like "cuss words and sexy girls that wear G-strings and thongs that u can make out with brah" like males think (one of my old friends told me that she thinks all guys are like that. I have no friends so I believed her,
after all, the guys in my school make fun of me, and a guy in my school in math class would ALWAYS hit my arm and say "YO look at that girl's thong" and I'd avoid looking and he'd keep nodding and asking me about it. The Punk Hamsters in my story are based on people like that in my school. Whenever I threw food away at lunch time, people at another lunch table would kick the garbage can so that my food landed on the floor and they'd all make fun of me. They called me "Lunchbox Boy" at school. They told random girls I never met before that I have a crush on them, just so that they'd come up to me and saw "Ewwwww sorry but I'm not into guys like you.)
I hate that I can't read cues good. I feel bad about pasting part of her message. Usually if I paste something someone says, I edit out the name. But yeah I wish that she'd take down the screenshots of me, though. I'll do anything. Anything. Anything. I'd do nearly anything for her to take down the screenshots of me :x
I wish she would leave me and my friends alone! By deleting the twitter posts that have the out of context screenshots of me.