Writing coping mechanisms?

[Leyelle]

Ever have trouble coming up with "healthy" coping mechanisms for your characters who are trying to avoid their issues?

Working on the script for "Hushabye Prince" I had to debate this for one of the characters because I didn't want her to have coping mechanisms (similar to Alicia. "Damsel in the Red Dress") that show obviously as issues that require intervention. Instead, it's going to show more of the subtle way we can suffer and nobody even realizes we're trying to suppress our pain.

What sort of coping mechanisms do your characters have? Are they obvious red-flags, or subtle things that no one would recognize as a cause for concern?

[kyupol]

Any hobby or subscription to any ideology (religious, political) can be regarded as a coping mechanism depending on who you ask.

I've seen Christian vs atheist and Right vs Left accuse the other side's beliefs as coping mechanisms.

And certain people believe that introverted hobbies like drawing, writing, video games, anime, etc are coping mechanisms... but going out clubbing and partying and socializing are not coping mechanisms... Im sure at least 90% of this forum will take offense to their hobbies being attacked

[skidiggy]

A hobby or interest can be immersive but not worrisome. Let's say your character is a bookworm, and uses literature as an escape from a dreary home life. Or perhaps they cope with loneliness by joining a sports club to interact with others. Maybe your character likes swimming, because the isolation is the only respite they have from a stressful job.

The frequency/intensity/duration of the activity or coping mechanism would be where someone might be concerned. Does your character spend seven hours a day playing video games? That might be a worrisome coping mechanism. Does their distraction/cope of choice detract from their daily life? That might raise some eyebrows. If no one knows how much/badly the character leans on the coping mechanism, they could even get away with it for a while (or even indefinitely).

[Leyelle]

i agree, (spoiler) my character's coping mechanisms are very subtle. She'll watch videos turning the sound all the way up in her earbuds so she can't hear or think, and chews gum, because chewing calms your body down, and she's nerdy enough to know that. That's a coping mechanism that wouldn't be clear to people around you, but can be to the readers when you notice that she hurriedly does those things when she's alone, starting to feel sad

[Animal508]

What do you mean by "healthy"?

[Leyelle]

@Animal508 coping mechanisms that are not inherently self destructive, yet you still want to show are having a negative effect on the person's life.

E.i.:

1. Drug use: inherently self destructive

2. working out: not inherently self destructive, but can be used as a coping mechanism to the point where it harms the individual.

And so on. there are many many inherently destructive coping mechanisms you can write that will immediately make your readers worry, but other's are more subtle, and require your readers to pay closer attention to realize they are causing your character harm

[Animal508]

Ok. In my story multiple characters have coping mechanisms, such as counting, putting on faces, self-isolation, etc. In fact, it's my main character's goal (beginning in the second volume) may in of itself be a coping mechanism (essentially pursuing a goal to mask trauma).

[Leyelle]

counting to calm themself down, or a nervous tik like the woman in "A Tale of Two Cities?"

[Leyelle]

The male lead of Hushabye Prince has a lot of different things that could probably be qualified as coping mechanisms, but to avoid spoiling most of them, one is that he has an art studio no one else is allowed in. It's his safe space, so people aren't even supposed to knock on the door.

Read Hushabye Prince :: Mini 06 | Tapas Comics

[Leyelle]

I'd venture to say work is Mrs. Moons' coping mechanism. Being able to keep the world in her control is how she creates a sense of stability for herself after the traumas of her childhood

[TheBlacKat333]

A lot of my characters have relatively unhealthy/weird ways to cope. Hugo likes finding ways to feel superior to others, even if it’s in some really superficial way, Eva likes “figuring out” other people (mostly just being really intrusive lol), Romeo and Hunter usually pick some more violent means to feel in control, and of course, a couple spoilery characters do some weirder things. Like making copious amounts of taxidermy sculptures, or constantly job hopping/changing your identity on a whim

[Leyelle]

Leia's coping mechanism is reading books, riding her bike, anything that let's her clear her mind and stop thinking about her problems for a little while. This is healthy in the right dosage, but not when it's taken to an extreme, but fortunately she's got too many things she really prioritizes dealing with to get too absorbed in escapeism.

her little brother is not doing so well coping, but that's kind of what the whole story is about.

(you can read this for free on my Patreon public posts. it's accessible to everyone

Rigamarole: Section 1: Aite | Leyelle

[Leyelle]

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)

[Leyelle]

The male lead of my novel "A Dozen Morning Glories" has a habit of talking a lot to try to fill any awkward silence or to keep arguments from taking place between his family members. This is definitely a coping mechanism he's developed, and while it works okay, it doesn't actually help fix any of the problems.

[hamzeh-a]

like "fingers" and stuff for thinking?

[Leyelle]

Hmm? I don't understand the question

[hamzeh-a]

Like mentioning sight of fingers in an atmosphere to denote thinking patterns occurirng during a coping session

[Leyelle]

I guess that could count, though i've never heard of that before

[hamzeh-a]

It's always associated with shaking the environment using visuals, multiples is not a bad idea