Alright, it's time to review Long Gone!
I think in 15 minutes I just read enough to see the goal the mc has, so that way I can do a decent review
While reading I noticed that sometimes you had the tendency to start a lot of sentences with a pronoun. The last paragraph of the second episode for example had sentences that all started with "she". I'm not saying it's terrible but it can get repetitive.
I do think your grammar works well enough and I didn't really encounter too much trouble reading it.
I noticed the further I got into it, the more the story started to grip me. Probably because at some point the main character and her friend got obtained a goal with a motive and past events backing it up. I think the prior events building that decision up was pretty well done!
I do have to say that the majority of characters feel a little bit flat to me, but perhaps that's because they only appeared a few times. Like the rich girl only showed a snobby side due to her being rich, but does she show other sides as well? And Ava's brother shows that he isn't afraid of lying to his own mother, but that's really the only thing I saw of him.
Again, I haven't fully read it due to the 15-minute limit but expanding on your support cast can help solidify the story.