soooo before we start
this story isnt finished
and it already contains bad writing,slurs,violence,and dark themes,all in an attempt at creating a realistic portrayal of the world we live in
8/19/66
I distinctly remember the day I met Abby.
At the time we were in 3rd grade,me and my friends were playing four square during recess when I noticed her.
sitting alone in the grass,face in her hands I just got a glimpse before the bell rang,alerting us that it was time to return to class.
As the day proceeded the girl faded from my mind,replaced with thoughts of four squares after school.
When finally the bell rang I gathered my things and went to find my friends.Suddenly my endeavor was interrupted by the faint sound of a girl crying.
I searched around before determining the sound had been emanating from the girls bathroom.
I never checked to see if the girl was alright,and that pains me to this day.
But I was scared,I could have been called a freak,a perv,a weirdo,I could scare her,ect these of course aren't the reasons I chose not to help.
I was scared because crying is for babies,and if I got caught with a baby,my social life would cease.
Yeah,I was a real dummy back in the day
but not entirely,I left a letter outside her stall
which said something to the affect of
======================================
Dear Girl
Hi! its me MAX
i herd you crieng and thought id chek n
let me now if u need anything
im hap e to talk abot it
====================================
I wrote this for myself,not for her
I needed to not feel guilty for abandoning someone.
Deep down I hoped she wouldn't take me up on my offer,but alas she did.
She caught me while doing late work at recess the next day
She introduced herself as Abigail-Lee-Spice,Abby for short.
She told me she had read my letter and wanted to talk about it.
I thought she was going to defend herself "I was sneezing" "I wasn't crying" "it was a prank" or something to that effect.
Rather,she told me her entire life story.Her parents were both alcoholics who smoked on the weekends,this was the life she was accustomed to.
Apparently the reason she was crying was because a couple days before,her parents were in a real tough fight,she heard a thud followed by silence.
Hours went by before she and her siblings (Riley,Danny,and Emily) left their room.
her father had been knocked uncosiocious with a chair leg and left on the floor in a small pile of blood.
her mother had packed all her things,left a note on the table,and disappeared.
Abby never mentioned to me what that note said,so I assume it was pretty bad but that's irrelevant.
Danny called the police who took their dad away for the night leaving the kids alone.
The next day (the day before I heard her crying) her father returned home and the doctor explained he would need some recovery time but overall he was okay
This WOULD have been a good thing,had their father not been extremily prone to...fits? moments of irregular behavior.
I sat patiently and listened to her story (it was slightly better than my math work)
and when she was finished she abruptly began to cry again.
This time however,I was more empathetec than off put
and that's what jump started our friendship
8/22/66
I almost forgot I had started a diary but I saw it on my shelf and remembered.
9/1/66
I forgot I had started a diary,how about I actually write in it this time?
My name is Gabriel Maxiumus Clark,but I go by max I am in the 6th grade my best friend in school is Johnathan Willings,however my TRUE best friend is a girl named Abigail (abby) Spice I love drawing,sports,and reading.I hate math,basketball,and people who talk a lot.Abby loves math and she talks a lot (she also loves basketball but our coach would never let a girl play so that's irelevant)
Anyway I think Katie wilson has a crush on John,because she keeps staring at him during lunch.I love Katie wilson,because she is pretty, but daddy says girls who wear skirts above the knee are whores. :[
Back on topic though,my entire life story sumurised (I hate that word) in a diary entry
so ,in simple terms,everything is,well decent,not as bad as Abby’s but way worse than Katie and slightly worse than Johns.My grandma’s,one grandpa,my uncle on my moms side,both aunts on my moms side,and of course my mom all died in a house fire caused by a stove being left on during a party.My uncle on my dads side (jack) my dad,and the rest of my cousins survived (annie,william,amelia,and nathan),I wish nathan had died,he always spanks me for being bad when I see him,but i'm glad everyone else survived,because they're pretty cool Jack always gives me 10 cents so that's cool,William and me always mis-behave,and amelia and amy are very kind.Thats my entire life I guess hopefully I don't quit this time.
9/2/66
Today was the first day of the week,yuck!
Let's go through my day I guess
-in my first (and second) period we had E.L.A we read some stupid book about some stupid book about some stupid wolf in some stupid weather owned by stupid people doing stupid things
I'm in for a long day
-3rd period was Music (I play the flute)
-4th period was gym.I love gym! Katie wilson is in my gym class,today after getting changed we played softball,side not,in John's old school there was a gym for both genders as well as changing rooms,but we don't have a gym or changing rooms at our school (we ALL play outside and all find somewhere to duck down in the woods) so don't be confused (also when can my school get changing rooms? WHITE OUT
Anyway it sucks! But back on topic,what was the topic? Oh yeah gym
So in gym we played softball,the girls all chose not to play but watched instead (except for Kiley Queen,we think shes gay).My team lost by 6 points and Katie laughed at us
-5th period was lunch,we all returned to the building I threw away my apple but devoured my mashed potatoes and sandwich
-6th and 7th period I got in trouble for talking back to my math teacher,he smacked my knuckles and made me write “im sorry” 100 times on the board after school
-8th period was Health,AWKWERD! The teacher pulled me aside to better explain but she was so loud! With Katie,Abbey,and John all in the room with me! So that was humiliateing
-We ended the day in science and to be honest I wasn't paying attention.Abby and I passed notes for half of class,and I stared at Katie for the other half.
im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry
3/9/66
I'll mark my calendar for Friday of every week this year so I remember to write a diary entry every friday!
3/7/66
It's friday!
This week I did lots of things
So i'll split it up
Katie,abby,home,John,school,other
Katie
Katie and John are dating now
Pa was right,Girls who wear short skirts our whores
Actually,what's a whore?
John
I hate him now so he's not invited to my birthday next week
Abby
Me and Abby did a bunch this week,we hung out at the park,rode bikes,talked to the local elderly,stole a loaf of bread from an elderly woman,broke into a abandoned library,explored the woods by west street
Got in an argument about whether the mailman or the milkman would win in a fight,I got punched by a girl,I lost a tooth,I punched a girl,I apologized for punching a girl,she hit me again,I cried,she apologized
So that was a fun week,
I wish my dad would let her stay the night,but he wont even let her in the house
It's not fair We promised no sex (which admittidtky may have been dumb because it showed we were thinking about it but I had to try).
Home
Pa got a new job as a mailman
Abby’s dad got a job as milkman
School
Overall a bad week
Wensday-My math teacher (mr.grimes) gave me a bunch of hard problems (You can see them on the next page)
Thursday-I got bored in ela class and caught a book on fire,luckily only Abby noticed and she laughed
Friday-am I in love with abby? We accidentally kissed in the hallway,I have all weekend to think.
Other/Notes
Whore means prostitoot
What does prostitoot mean?
- Add 8.64 + 7.098 + 10.9901
A. 15.5281 B. 16.84701 C. 26.7281 D. 27.611 2.
The change, in yards, in a football team’s position on the field for each of their last four plays is shown below. – 4, 7, –7, 0 Which list correctly compares the changes, in yards, in the football team’s position on the field?
A. –7<–4<0<7 B. –4 < –7 < 0 < 7 C. 0 < –7 < –4 < 7 D. 0 < –4 < –7 < 7
I hate math to much to show my work grimes
9/9/66
Okay weekend updates our a thing now also
Me and Abby met after school saturday and talked about our accidental kiss
And decided that since we just bumped into each other that it didn't count,that makes sense to me
But I'm still scared I'm in love,I'm not sure why because I don't feel how I do around Katie. That's because Katies a whore and Abby's my best friend.
I'm not in love with abby
I'm just,confused i've never kissed anyone before
But i'll ask her monday just in case
9/10/66
Last update till friday I promise.Me and Abby met up after school and I shared my concern.Luckily! She reciprocated the confusion.She suggested we kiss again to find out.I thought that was weird,but it wasn't going to make things worse so I said yes,and felt absolutely NOTHING! Hopefully she feels the same way.
9/13/66~friday
We had the rest of the week off due to water malfunction.
Wensday-me and Abby re-explored the woods to look for her necklace
Thursday-me and Abby got revenge on John by sneaking into his house and making his room messy
Friday-Me and Abby got revenge on Katie by knocking on her door then leaving 26 times throughout the day
10/6/66
I lost my journal for a bit! Sorry i'll start again tomorrow
10/7/66
Okay nothing really happened this week
12/21/66
I just dug up this book from my old boxes and figured id update everything,then starting journaling again
So,lets recap
It's the first day of winter break,my cousin Nathan recently had to move in because his girlfriend kicked him out (he says because she's a whore,which means prostitoot,which are girls who wear short skirts I think)
In the past couple months Danny died so me and Abby didn't talk for a bit.
But today she felt better and we tried to hangout with John and Katie.
But they were SUPER gross and kept kissing (YUCK!) so I told Katie John had mono and she got scared.
John retaliated by making fun of how I was friends with a girl when I could date her like the whore she is.That made me really angry because it was a lie! In my entire time knowing Abby she's only worn a skirt to church,funerals,and weddings*note from the future im now 26 and nowadays she wears skirts whenever its hot,under the condition of leggings or tights*
I told John he was being a rat and he said “yeah will your girlfriend is a retard AND your a retard”
Abby got up to leave,but I made a bad choice.I pushed John into the dirt (I mean come on he called me and Abby retards,said I was dating her,stole Katie from me,called Abby a whore,and he looks weird).He stood up and looked real pissed,then he punched me.I tackled him to the ground ramming one fist into his face after the other over and over as he screamed.Until finally I regained my senses.I was sitting in an ally beating up my friend while his girlfriend and my best friend watched in terror,begging me to stop and screaming for help.John was right,i'm nothing but a dumb ass retard baby whose friends with girls.
I feel awful.Katie called me a monster,John called me a freak.Even Abby said I took it too far,but she's probably right in that regard.Im probably going to jail or something for that
12/21/66 (night)
The police showed up outside to talk to pa
I'm done for.
12/21/66 (deep in the night)
Luckily I got off with a warning
But I'm not completely off the hook.
Pa beat the shit out of me
Then yelled at me… a lot
Then he left
And I cried and cried and cried
The papers are still wet
12/22/66
Everything is aching
Last night I did something dum.
I was pissed off and tried to run away.
But I fell off the roof and broke my everything
I'm in the hospital now
12/26/66
I feel awfull!
I'm having Abby rite this four me bye the way
Twodey I drank some juice
Im cleared to go home tomorow nite
Im Abby im riting this to recap MY dey
Max reked his intire body
that wuz funy
Thats all
12/28/66
I lost the pen i've been using
So il have to use this hospital pen
Im feeling better
But my right arm and leg are broken,i have a concussion,i have a broken left wrist,i have a black eye and bruises all over,and the worst part apparently is i've broken 3 ribs,but I think the worst part is being unable to play four square
I'm in a lot of pain writing this so my next update won't be till im healed
6/9/67
Holy heck it's been a while since I wrote in this
I've healed for the most part but I have severe brain damage
Which has caused me to have repetitive headaches and develop a disorder called schizophrenia Honestly I have no clue what that means.
In the past months a lot has changed
Me and Abby got really close,Im considering asking her out for the town dance next week
But i'd hate to interfere with our friendship
Dad went missing last week
After getting told off my one of my doctors (Kila Hemms) he disappeared and hasn't returned so i've been staying with John
But he really pisses me off
At least he and Katie finally broke up
It took forever
But she finally realized what a punk he was and dumped his sorry self
I'm leaving Johns tonight before he realizes
I'd rather be on the streets
Abby's dad lost his job
6/10/67
I talked to Abby and she agreed to be my girlfriend,on one condition
We weren't gonna do any
…
Weird stuff
Which I guess it okay because we just started talking
But one day i'd like to have
Sorry about the eraser marks
I changed my mind about writing something
I can't have anyone hitting me because of my thoughts
Anyway I left Johns last night like I said I would
I ended up sleeping in a shed behind the school
The town dance is tomorrow and I'm so anxious!
6/11/67
Boy do I have some explaining to do
I got rid of that son of a bitch for one
But i'm not in any legal trouble
He struck first,mad about nothing
I knocked him silly
He ran off into the night and nobodys seen him since
Before that though,the dance went find me and Abby had a great time and ingested an exorbitant amount of alcohol in the woods while everyone danced
Then after the incident a bunch of paramedics came out and John ran off into the woods
Nobodys seen him yet hopefully he stays lost
During all of that Abby was out cold
So after everyone started looking for John I dragged her out into the woods
Don't worry,I controlled myself (im kidding)
I sat and waited with her the whole night
Watching in hopes that she wouldn't die or something
If it were katie or anyone else I would have sent her home
But in the recent months Abby's father has became much more distant,danny hasn't been in the house for more than a couple hours at a time,riley is constantly out with boys and emily…nevermind about emily
I'll get into that another time.
6/12/67
Tomorrow there having a funeral for pa
Nobody actually knows if he's dead but we still
Cant find him
I've began to notice things lately,shadows warping in the corner of my eyes light fading in and out
I'm pretty sure I need to visit a eye doctor
My mind also feels a lot more cluttered recently
Not like brain fog
More like something is in my skull eating my thoughts
It's becoming more of a concern because
Shit
I forgot
Anyway last entry I didn't finish the story so i'll do that now
Some time in the depths of night Abby woke up
And threw up all over the grass
We talked for a couple minutes about the night before
And once she was caught up we talked about everything else for a couple hours before she decided to go home
Then John showed up
And he had a gun aimed at her
He had no idea I was nearbye so while he cried and told her not to move I armed myself with a rock and crept closer
He began yelling dirty commands and words at her
I tossed the rock as hard as I could
clink
I missed but got lucky and knocked the gun out of his
hand anyway,we ran all the way back to town without stopping to breathe once
Next week i'm starting handwriting training so it wont look like these were wrote by a blind child with no arms
I'm going through a lot right now
Mostly because Kila made me start therapy
Also she gave me a specil pill for my scit-so-friend-e-uh
But they make me feel sick
By the way i'm finally on summer break so that's great
Emily finnaly got arrested
Which i'm still not going to talk about
…
Or maybe I will?
Kila says if i can't be honest with myself I can never recover
Il go flip a coin
HEADS I TAILS
Write about it I don't write about it
I got tails!
I aint telling you (me) shit!
[26 year old max again,I wrote this next part 2 and a half hours of thinking later]
I changed my mind,i'll talk about emily
The reasan she's so problematic is because she
Has shit-zo-friend-E-uh too she sits in her room all day
And whenever she comes out she acts crazy
She's constantly confused
6/13/67
Today was pa’s funeral
I've really been thinking recently
About everything honestly
I quit with the whole katie thing
She's a bastard anyway
Same with john
I never mentioned it in the previous entrys but natahn did move back in with his girlfriend and now tha pa is dead i have to move in with him as of later today
Hes still a piece of shit
6/14/67
I wish i was dead
His girlfriends worse than him I keep waking up to her sitting in the dark corner
Watching
Nathan frequently hits her so at least shes punished
6/15/67
I lost my pills
6/15/67 (night)
Shes back
She doesn't know im writing this
Im scared
There's something wrong
Shes mutilated
Shes not human
Im going to ask her whats wrong
6/16/67
Me and nathan went out today for some court ordered bonding time but
A woman spoke to him
And i ended up waiting outside a hotel for an hour
Everyone who walked by stared at me
Something is wrong