Any closeted folks here afraid of familial rejection

[unknown_user]

About me... hehehe, you can imagine, what a nightmare is to have a daughter like me in your family.

One day, I started to kinda blogging from my real account with my real name in the social network. I wrote on many topics there! Particularly, I wrote different things about sex, sexual orientations and all such stuff...
When they saw it, they were furious

The most funny thing is: I didn't even write anything original! Just usual humane position, like: your value is not determined by amount or gender of your partners; no sexual orientation is worse than others; every sex is fine, is it's consensual. I wrote it particularly to cheer up my friends, who were concerned about this topic. Especially those ones, who didn't have sexual experience at all: I wrote that not having sex at all doesn't make anyone "less cool" either. I also wrote that I don't think that courtship rituals are necessary, and it's fine to go to sex in any stage of relationships, if you want, even in the first day, like I do sometimes. Among other things, I also hinted, that I'm bisexual, too.

It caused such great amount of dirt and despise from their side, I don't even want to recall the details. I'll just say that the culmination of it was: they started to threat me.

UPD: Well, I'm not sure anymore I should write the details... hm, hm... ok, I'll just tell that I also had something to counter-threat them and of course, didn't stop to write my shit.

[unknown_user]

What I can suggest to those ones, who is afraid of familial rejection... try to become independent from family. Both materially and psychologically. After it, if these people will not accept you, you'll just tell them to go to hell.

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

My mom has very strong opinions on gender roles, particularly with what men should and shouldn't do. If you not fit that rigid definition, then you not a man.

On another time, this the kind of woman to kick off a Viking-style vendetta.

[unknown_user]

My mom has very strong opinions on gender roles, particularly with what men should and shouldn't do.

[Panqiuyan]

ouch my mom keeps telling i need to learn how to cook to please my future husband. but i have limitation due to some issues.

[Nail]

That's exactly what I'm currently doing... only in reverse mode

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

Limitations regarding husbands, cooking, or layman's understanding of time?

Sorry to say, but my mom am one of those women who wishes she was born a man. They really do exist.

[Panqiuyan]

due to a diagnosis i can't even stand on my own feet or even cooking on a stove i can't even reach

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

Sorry to hear that.

[Cavechan]

I am fortunate to not have experienced this, but I think in your situation it may be best to stay in the closet. I am so sorry. Nobody should have to live with this fear and you should be able to express who you are and be proud of it too. But you also have to consider your own best well-being and safety. Keep working to become independent from them. You'll be more secure and you will also be able to gain more confidence in yourself and more emotional stability. Find someone close or a therapist that you can confide in. Just know that this situation is only temporary. You will be able to overcome it and there will be a day when you can tell them and be able to move on.

[Panqiuyan]

that's okay i'm use it by now

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

So how do you get around? Wheelchair?

[Panqiuyan]

ya a power wheelchair

[33rdCenturyCaveman]

At least you am playing with POWER

[Panqiuyan]

yeah it is easier than doing it by hand

[SilentHamster102]

I'm straight male in terms of all those sexual life (certifiably not interested in it so much btw)

But I so tired to prove to my relatives that I'm not going to take loan in the bank and but a new modern car! I'm afraid sometimes to tell them that I love classics. They look at me sometimes like I just said that I'm a gay.
Everyone knows that 1976 classics are far more cool and awesome then newer plastic soapbox-like car. But it's not my mom it seems, meh. But anyway I'll be loyal to my tastes, and you should be too.

No matter how unusual stuff you love, just do it and don't listen to anybody who telling you to do otherwise to be more accepted in society. Like me and classic Soviet-made cars, come on. 0_^

Why I wrote this? Just for fun, like everything I'm doing.

[VibrantFox]

i rememberer maybe once or twice attempting to subtly bring up the fact that i found myself identifying as ace and that went from neutral to bad pretty quick and just as much about being nonbinary (i tried to be roundabout rather than direct since any talk about the topic in general is a nightmare)

i specifically recall one conversation where the question came up "do you not like being female?" and my mind's first reaction was a hard no but i couldn't just say so i gave a no but then some random bs to kind of move to another topic

i don't really expect (or even care i guess) about those parts of me being accepted even if they're part of who i am so i just keep it to myself. I'd hope to at least talk to close friends about it but i doubt that opportunity will even come...sorry it's not an optimistic response but I hope you get to live comfortably as yourself at some point

[Nail]

I'm not gay, but I've got a bunch of other issues with my parent's, and I know how painfull it can be to not being accepted for who you are, not being able to share to share the joy of what you're doing with them. But the thing is that there's always will experience you won't be able to share with your family, because one way or another the'll be gone, and it'll be up to you to survive in this world and make your decisions, they won't be able to reflect upon... Maybe I want a bit dark here, but what I'm trying to say is that in some ways my parent's were dead for me since I was a kid. I tries so hard to reach out to them, to fit into their perception of me, yet still to maintain my own self, but all I've managed to achieve is having a panic disorder, long going depression and drinking problem... long story short - sometimes folks just don't understand stuff, and that's why world made you - to understand it. And having my own experiencess, I'd just reccommend you to take it easy on yourself. Don't forece yourself. I've been doing it so many times - bringing some heavy stuff to my parent's, just like I felt that I have to , but in result I've just being reliziing afrewarda again and again that I kind of regreat doing this and I juust should have deal with the stuff in my own way. In other times I could see that they really didn't give a F as I did or even wished I'd never bring this stuff up couse now, they're kind of feel reponsible for react to this in some way.
One smart dude once said that victory should be achieved with ease, like picking an apple from a tree; you just came and took the apple: if you're jumping around and just can't reach - you just havent grouwn enough to it. Anyway, my advice - just take it easy on yourself and don't do anything cause nothing is really important before face of the heat death of the universe.

[sc101]

nah man that cool. i'm not super optimistic either. my problem is more that i'm stuck here kinda suffocating with them. i have long given up trying to be their ideal daughter lol

[Nail]

Yeah, I'm kind of in a same position. Feels like I'm betraying them if I just go and live my own life the way I wan't to, like leaving them behind... But it's not that I have anywhere to go anyways, the only I want to see - is beyond a reach, so I'm just drinking, sleeping, watching porn... too much porn... and laughing maniacly inside myself over the whole situation.