I never felt the need to come out as pan, I just never hid things. Because I was lucky to have open minded parents. So they just learnt little by little by seeing me live my life. (NB is another issue because it shows, but I would not say I came out either. It was just more apparent, so out more and quicker).
However I met many many people who did not have this chance in many different countries, cultures and social backgrounds. The general idea I got from that is: don't put yourself in danger (including severe emotional danger) if you are not ready materially and emotionally, to deal with the worst case scenario. Even in case of very hostile family, I would not say it's impossible to tell (it may be so important for you to tell, at a point, that consequences are not as terrible as not telling), but, the more the reaction may be bad, the more prepared you need to be. I'd say, if you expect possible bad reaction, I'd wait to be independant financially. It's terrible to have to deal with emotional consequences while having to also deal with material issues. If the material things are in order.. then you can estimate if you can deal with the emotional consequence of a bad reaction.
