Artist Slump/Depression?

[Melinda]

*EDIT:
Thank you so much for your advice everyone!
It really helps me a lot, now i’m still fighting with this issue but i’m better than before. Working professionally as an artist really makes me anxious and scared like if i’m not good enough i will not get any job offer, can’t make a living, and fail as an artist. But now i’m trying to love myself and my works, but also improve myself to get better at it. I hope everyone who has same struggle with me will find peace and love for what they’re doing!

Hi everyone!
First please pardon my english since i’m not a native speaker.

So i need some advice about artist slump and depression...
So last year i was contracted by comic publisher but when i was working on my comic, the company suddenly shut down their service. My comic didn’t have any opportunity to be published yet. But thankfully, the company’s being responsible and they committed to finish and pay me according to my contract. I know i should be grateful for that but i just can’t brush off the feeling of making a comic without any clear future about being published or not and beside my editor, no one gave me a feedback about my comic. In short, i didn’t have any reader.

Since that, i’ve been through some serious self-doubt and always questioning my works. I always see flaws on my works, always thinking i’m not good enough, and even tho people said they like my work i just can bring myself to believe it cause i think my work is mediocre or even bad. Social media didn’t help either, i saw lots of my friend were getting their works published and somehow i feel sad cause i don’t know when the opportunity will come for me. Somehow i was feeling trapped to finish a comic with uncertainty future, i didn’t even know will my comic be published or not. I’ve been through this condition about a year.

So some good news, last month my editor contacted me and said that my comic will be published on one of the biggest platform in my country. I was surprised and excited, but somehow i also feel anxious and worry about my work. I think a year in a slump really brought a terrible effect with how i view my work. It’s weird even for myself, i mean i’ve been waiting for my first series to finally be published but also at the same time i think “do they really want to publish my work? I don’t think my work is good enough”.
I’m feeling insecure with my work and i spent so much time just for one panel cause i want it to look perfect even tho i know it’s impossible to create something perfect.

I’m stressed out because of the battle in my mind, at some moment i felt joy but another moment i feel really anxious to the point i can’t sleep at night, worrying about my legitimacy as a professional comic artist. I felt really terrible and i can’t even bring myself to love what i do. I even wonder should i see therapist since it hinders my life so much.

So i was wondering if some of you might experience self doubt as an artist like me, and i want to seek advice about how to overcome it... i’m really desperate and want to feel content again with my works
Every single advice will be very helpful! Thank you 🏻

[sushy00]

Self doubt is here constantly. I follow the mantra "Be afraid but do it anyway". I have found that the most helpful,

[darthmongoose]

When I get doubts like this on professional projects, I try to remind myself that publishers are generally pretty sensible about who they pick to publish. They wouldn't have picked your work if they didn't believe it was a product they could sell. Hopefully when it's out there in the world and getting some happy readers and nothing catastrophic happens, it'll help you feel happier about it and about your work in general.

It's also good to remind yourself that if you're only looking at the very top end of pro creators, you get a warped idea of how good an average pro actually is. Especially in comics. It's okay to just be "decent and reliable on the budget and timeframe given"; that's a valid way to be a pro, and a lot of publishers like working with pros like that the most. You don't have to be superhuman to be a pro. I'm certainly not! You delivered the project to the specifications of the client and you got paid. You ARE a pro.

[malwdark]

I just checked your profile and can't see why would you feel any doubt about your abilities keep up with the good work!

[GloamingCat]

This is very relatable, honestly. I've never had this kind of opportunity (never even had an editor lol), but I've felt something similar after my comic was promoted for the first time. The sudden growth of interaction made me feel really pressured, and immediality all the flaws in my work standed out in my head, and everything about my work sounded horrible.

I've always had control over my works, who knows its existence, and how it is presented. Everytime I showed it to someone, I'd make sure they interpret it correctly, I'd ask exactly what they're feeling, and explain to them exactly what I was thinking. I felt more... relaxed and safe. I could apologize for my mistakes, ask for help. and make the experience more pleasing for that specific reader. But how am I supposed to do that for thousands of readers? How can I explain myself to all these people and make sure all of them get the right message? How can I please them all?

I can't. And that's okay. No author has full control of their work and their audience. No work is perfect. Try to think of the professional works out there, pay attention their flaws, and also notice how their fans still love them. People are more forgiving than you think. No matter how bad you think your comic is, someone will LOVE it the way it is. Oh, and if you think your work is perfect, there is also always someone who will see flaws in it anyway, so there's absolutely no point in trying to make it perfect.

And think of this too: even if you fail horribly and ruin everything (which is very unlikely, but anxious minds keep thinking of this case), it's still okay. There will always be other opportunities, and you can try again, this time with additional knowledge you gained from your previous attempt.

I'll recommend you this video, it helped me considerably (about perfectionism): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxA69uUGEUI
This one may be useful too (about imposter syndrome): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ns96WM7C78
(sorry, I love this guy)

Just another note: yes, I think a therapist will be could for you. I always recommend therapy to people, even if they're "normal"; it does more good than bad.

[uglygirlnextdoor]

s, last month my editor contacted me and said that my comic will be published on one of the biggest platform in my country. I was surprised and excited, but somehow i also feel anxious and worry about my work. I think a year in a slump really brought a terrible effect with how i view my work. It’s weird even for myself, i mean i’ve been waiting for my first series to finally be published but also at the same time i think “do they really want to publish my work? I don’t think my work is good enough”.I’m feeling insecure with my work and i spent so much time just for one panel cause i want it to look perfect even tho i know it’s impossible to create something perfect.

I am no doctor, I am a paciente. I have Major depression with Anxiety Disorder and OCD. I am on sick leave for around 2 months and a half. I hate my job and today is really a bad day.
If you are feeling anxiety and depression please seek professional help, it will not get better or got away by itself.
you have the chance to be published! You should be happy, excited, PROUD!!! You have achieved what many of us can only dream. but when sickness hit, I know my words sound empty... please ask for help

And seriously man, congratulation, I hope you'll be able to party your victories!

[carloswebcomic]

I'm not sure if I can add more to what everyone else has said.

I'm extremely insecure in my work, even to the point where I sometimes want to disappear off the face of the earth altogether.

Mind you, I do suffer from pretty severe chronic depression, even with medication.

What sometimes help is to take a realistic look at where you are.

You had a publishing offer.
That means they want YOUR work, regardless what you think of it.
I see massive problems with my art and writing too, but the fact is that someone wants to publish your work.
Whatever happens, no one can stop you from creating, growing and learning. Other than you, of course.
I know it's scary. I'm scared shitless every day, but no matter how miserable I feel, I'd be more miserable if I stopped creating.
If you fall down, you can always get up again. The world will still be there.
Don't cheat yourself.

[ble]

I can't check your profile because the url say tapastic (instead of tapas?), but anyway, if you had an editor and a comic publisher, and now a different publisher wants to put your comic, it means someone out there has some faith in your stuff.

While i can't relate to having a publisher or an editor, when i post my stuff online ( i don't personally like my art or storytelling limitations), but other people seem to like it, so i guess I do stuff with the mentality there is someone else that likes it more than i do.

[sakebento]

You're not alone in feeling these things, and it's pretty hard to dig yourself out of it once your brain has grown used to thinking a certain way. The good news is, there are ways to fight these feelings. A few things I try to remind myself:

1.) I am not my work. Even if my art is bad, that doesn't mean I am bad.

2.) The better I get, the more flaws I see. If I am seeing more things in my art I don't like, it's a sign that I've gotten better at discerning art. As bad as it might feel, it actually means I'm improving, and that's a good thing.

3.) I only get to see the success of my friends. I see my successes AND my failures. No one is out there tweeting every single gig they applied for and didn't get. It gives the illusion that everyone else is doing much better than I am, but they've all got piles of rejections and failures underneath them, just like me.

4.) Rest is part of creating good work, and I should never feel guilty for taking a break.

If you have time to look it up, I suggest researching "impostor syndrome." It might help make things make sense.

You also mentioned seeing a therapist. If you can find one who's a good match for you, I'd say go for it! Even just a few talks can help you work through your thoughts. I know a lot of people think of it as a last resort when things are really bad, but I've found that a therapist is really great for nearly any situation.