Best dialog scene

SpookyLocker 2020-05-18 18:21:00 UTC #1

Write the best dialog scene from your novel.
Or something related to dialog that you created.
Heck paste your whole novel if you want.

k5rakitan 2020-05-18 21:26:06 UTC #2

OK, here's a scene where my protagonist Joan has lunch with her mother Gertrude at the place where her husband Michael works and brings her clients Seto and Mokuba Kaiba along:

Joan laughed and leaned over Seto to kiss Michael. Seto tolerated the action, focusing on Joan's lithe body instead of the hairless ape she had chosen as a life partner. Thankfully Joan kept the kiss brief.

"Hello, dear." Gertrude stood and hugged Michael. "Won't you join us?"

"Sorry Trudy, I'm on my shift," Michael said a little too happily.

Gertrude's hands lingered on Michael's bulging forearms. "Oh bless your heart. Don't be a stranger now." She sat down and ordered water. Joan and the Kaibas followed suit.

"Are you sure you don't want a beer?" Michael looked pointedly at the Kaibas.

"You know what? Let's do the sampler," Joan said.

"Coming right up." Michael turned and walked off.

"You didn't tell me your husband was a wage monkey," Seto said to Joan.

"Is that a problem?" Joan asked.

Seto fell silent as his mind tied itself in knots trying to figure out what her husband had that he didn't have.

"Well," Gertrude huffed, "I didn't realize I'd be dining with prostitutes and tax collectors at the same time."

"We're game developers, not tax collectors," Mokuba said.

"Even worse! Video games teach children to idolize a screen when they should be focused on the Lord." Gertrude turned to her daughter expectantly. "And you . . . I raised you better than this."

Joan shrugged. "At least you raised a smart whore."

"I rebuke that statement in Jesus' name. I don't know where you got your smart mouth, but it wasn't from me." Gertrude crossed her arms and leaned back with a scowl.

Seto mimicked Gertrude's posture but kept his facial features placid. "You didn't tell me your mother had an imaginary friend."

"I know," Joan grinned, "I wanted that to be a surprise."

Silence congealed on the table until Michael showed up and swiped it with a rag. "I can tell you're going to need these." He set down a bowl of pretzels and three wooden paddles each containing four small glasses of beer. He rattled off the name of each one and handed Gertrude her water. "Can I take your order now?"

"Why," Gertrude's lips trembled as she looked up at Michael, "why didn't you guard her heart?"

"I'm sorry," Michael said, "we don't serve that here. Could I interest you in the Reuben?"

Gertrude pursed her lips. "For now, but you and I need to have a talk later, young man."

SpookyLocker 2020-05-18 21:38:46 UTC #3

best fucking line for me

ivanskilling 2020-05-20 01:42:59 UTC #4

I don't want to spoil future scenes of my novel, so I'll post a short scene which I loved writing!

The front gate wasn’t automated, so she reached into the designer clutch bag and fished out the keys. As she fumbled with the lock, not getting the right key the first time, a hoarse voice made her jump.

“What are you doing? Are you a thief?”

Sandra looked up to see an elderly woman squinting at her through a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. With her frizzy white hair and baggy blouse and plants that clung to her thin frame, the woman looked like a witch out of a children’s movie.

“Oh no,” Sandra laughed. “I’m the new tenant here. Still trying to figure out which key is which.”

Met with silence, her laughter trailed off awkwardly. She cleared her throat and extended a hand. “I’m Sandra by the way. Nice to meet you.”

The old woman eyed her but did not take her hand. “Dina,” she said after a long pause.

“Nice to meet you, Dina.” Sandra smiled as she retracted her hand and wiped it on her short pencil skirt.

Not sure how to proceed with the conversation, she pointed a finger towards the house. “Well umm, I guess I’d better be going.”

“You know,” Dina interrupted before Sandra could even take a step. “The previous tenants were always so noisy.”

The odd bit of information was so out of the blue that Sandra could only look blankly at Dina. When she didn’t respond, the old woman jabbered on.

“Always yelling at the top of their voices, you know. Always quarrelling with each other. That’s why they ended up in a divorce, of course.”

Sandra pursed her lips and her eyes narrowed. Gossip and gossipmongers were near the top on the list of things she hated. She folded her arms and said, “Okay, so what’s your point?”

The old woman bristled and regarded Sandra with contempt. “Well, I just wanted to warn you that I don’t take kindly to any loud noises. I’m a light sleeper and it is absolutely horrible to be woken up in the middle of the night. So preferably no late night parties or trysts with boyfriends or-”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Sandra cut in sharply as her fingers wrapped around the right key, having identified it by feeling the ridges along its edge. “I won’t be around much.”

She jammed the key into the lock and this time, it gave way easily. As she opened the gate, she turned to Dina and gave a sarcastic smile. “Oh and by the way, I’m single.”

Aims 2020-05-20 03:40:45 UTC #5

This one is from a chapter that's coming out this Friday:

“Hey. When we grow up, do you want to move to the south with me?” Adam asked, looking at the snow that was starting to fall.

“Sure thing. But the south is kinda big. Do you have a specific place in mind? Or...” David asked.

“Not really...” he said, crossing his arms.

“How about Las Vegas?” Spice suggested enthusiastically “I always wanted to go to a fancy casino!”

“Oh, you're awake.” Adam said to the ghost “Las Vegas sounds nice... But it sounds more like a place where you'd go for a vacation rather than a place to raise a family...”

“I've been awake for a while now, but you guys weren't talking so... Anyway. How about California?”

“Oh, I heard it has nice beaches! But I'll have to learn how to swim first...” David commented excitedly. He was already imagining his adult self shredding some massive waves on a surfing board with a Hawaiian tattoo covering his left arm and muscles to die for... God, what a cool dude...

“Nah, I've been there once with my stepfather and my mom, it's overrated,” Adam complained.

“I thought it was neat. You're just the Grinch of beaches and tropical stuff.” Spice said.

“I see... How about Texas? I want to be a cowboy, baby!” David said, making his friend exhale out of his nose and smile a little bit.

“Nah... Too many farms, not enough buildings... I'm a city girl, I won't settle for anything smaller than a big town.”

The three of them continued to talk, and in the end, Adam decided that since they couldn't make a decision, he would just have to settle for a warm jacket and deal with New York's climate for the rest of his life.

Mithril 2020-05-20 07:01:22 UTC #6

I have an ongoing poly romance and these are my three idiots being idiots.

“It’s fine,” Victor reached for a soda.

“No, really. I want to do something for you.” Oliver was like a cat when he wanted something, in the way he touched people and looked at them.

“You can… leave me alone?”

“Don’t be rude,” James said. “You can use some positive influence in your toxic lifestyle.”

“Fuck. Off.” Victor lifted his middle finger.

“Language, Arlington, it’s… unbecoming of you.” James said.

“Do you even know what unbecoming means, Brooks?”

“Ah, he knows my name!”

Lazu 2020-05-20 10:15:42 UTC #7

I really had fun with this scene, haha.
But quite enjoy writing most of the dialogue in this, tbh xD

“Sooo, Winter, huh?”

“Drunk uncle” Winter answered, being busy with looking around the room. It wasn’t that big, but it wasn’t too small either. As he had feared, it was just a single large room, with two beds and no privacy. Would he have to sleep with his binder like this? That couldn’t be healthy… Maybe he could get up a curtain around the bed, but then again, that might be a bit weird.

“Ah, know the feeling. Drunk mom” Thom shot back, pulling Winter back into his current situation.

“Ah, that sucks. Overly religious parents” Winter felt the need to retort.

“Bummer. Cheating dad, openly” Before they knew it, it had turned into a contest of who had it worse.

After that went on for a while, the two boys laughed, and Winter felt grateful for his new roommate.

“Just a fair warning. I tend to spend a long time in the bathroom in the morning” Because my binder is a bitch, Winter thought.

“So should we have a kind of plan, or just have you pee in your pants?” Winter continued.

“I’m just gonna pee my pants or pee in your bed” Thom teased, and the two boys once again bonded over something stupid.

SpookyLocker 2020-05-23 01:04:39 UTC #8

NatAberdeen 2020-05-23 18:13:25 UTC #9

I haven't posted the episode with this dialogue yet, but I couldn't resist. I love writing scenes with Kyle Ling.

“Hello, Kyle. How are we doing today? You’ve been coming over so often lately, I should start making a designated seat for you, heh.”

Kyle made no acknowledgment and simply gave unimpressed glare without pause. “Our town is getting haunted, Matt Kennett.”

“Now, we can't be too certain about that. Remember the last time.”

“Yes, yes, I know. That’s on me. I shouldn’t have organized that riot—or, that big of a riot, anyway. I put the fires out, though.”

“Eh, we’re still debating that, but listen, there’s nothing we can do right now. We won’t have any real proof of this ‘haunting’ until tonight.”

“What proof do you need, Matt Kennett?! Gymnasiums don’t just fall apart! My daughter could’ve gotten herself killed that night.”

“Kyle, I know you’re troubled, and frankly, I would be too if I were a parent. But we’re doing all we can. The school board is taking care of the gym, Mayor West is pouring in as much funding as he can, and I am taking extra precautions to keep us ghost-free.”

“W-wh-what-what about the statue house?”

“What about the statue house?” Kennett had a severe lack of concern about this topic. He definitely was concerned but hated to show it in front of citizens who felt just the same.

“Surely someone as loose-in-the-noggin as you should be concerned that there just happens to be a new family next door. I smell no coincidence.”

“Well I smell hot tea in my hair, and it is not pleasant."