I'll clear this up because yeah, it can be confusing that I include characters/character development and even story arcs that could fall under the 'BL' category, and I certainly don't want to come off as a 'say one thing and do the other' type. I do not hate all BL, but I do hate some of it, in fact I read a lot of it growing up because I was/am not straight and I was desperate to find stories that I could relate to, I'm sure anyone in that situation can attest to how hard it is growing up and always having to 'pretend' (usually via fanfic) that a character could be going through the same situation as you because media, (especially back when I was a kid) did not feature many (if any) characters that were exploring that kind of relationship that didn't end badly (usually in death)
BL (both clean and 18+) if you try to view it in a very basic way, has two very distinct piles you can divide the stories into, BL that is an honest portrayal (or attempt at) a relationship between two guys, and BL that is sexualization of the concept made for the kink and fetish fulfillment, which I wouldn't mind so much (everyone's got their thing, I an't judging) if a good number of these types of kink fics/comics would stop featuring tropes that are harmful relationship situations.
I enjoy the stuff you could sort out into the first pile, I do not enjoy the second where for some reason rape, humiliation, controlling behaviour and stalking is OK, and these are not side dramas or situations introduced to cause conflict in a bad relationship, but the way the 'loving relationships' are portrayed. (It's kinda the same as the BDSM community disliking the 50 Shades of Grey and how it portrays their community)
A lot of people inside the community of individuals looking for stories involving same sex relations, will often avoid the 'BL' tag even though we're actively looking for stories that contain that kind of relationship, because a very large majority of works in it falls into the 'sexulizing the gays to get off on our kink' category, which is fine I guess for those that enjoy it, just not what we are looking for.