Jun 2019
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Jun 2019
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graveweaver
Jun '19

Hey, is this your first comic page? It's pretty decent for a first try! Here's some observations I have that could be improved on:

  • Do you have a program like clip studio paint? If so, you can make boxes to draw your images in. Though there is stylistic merit to hand-drawing the boxes, generally having them perfectly even looks much better.
  • There is a lot of strange vocabulary here- "Jada town 2025" "00 Apartments" "Sop" "Skeptch" (This is your name but your readers wouldnt know it and theres a lot of visual information) ... You might know what all of these mean, but your readers don't! Introduce your terminology more slowly. And try to not use such random words, just "Apartment" or "Burger place" is sufficient unless "Sop" is an integral part of the plot.
  • You seem to be using both colors and screentones to imply shading- You should pick one, or else this will overload your viewer. You can pick up both when you become more experienced and learn how to balance your visual hierarchy.
  • The left side of the canvas is entirely blank space with purple dots which reads really weird- I suggest you instead extend the bottom panel out all the way and have some kind of background to fill the area.
  • Remove the "2019 by Skeptch" - If you really want that, put it in the corner very tiny. Comics generally should not have watermarks on every page.

You have a good style to start off, very unique! Keep working on improving it, it's a good foundation.

amortelito
Jun '19

Hi. :cookie:
Let me see...Overall I think you need more "air" everything looks too big and too piled up. Just consider distributing your elements. For example, the speech bubble is interrupting the date. You can make that dialogue smaller or drag the second panel lower. The air is a small change that is easy to make and can help you a lot.

I think is okay to have a sketch-like finish, I personally would exaggerate this more, my teachers used to tell us that even disheveled things have to look like they were made like that on purpose, and not look like an accident. There are some brushes that look like pencils or have textures, in case you are interested in exploring this option.

The color contrast is interesting, the screentone of the shadows look a bit strange considering you are using color, maybe the screentone can be removed and you can shade with the purple or it can have a color that is not black.
Of course, this is just a personal opinion, don't take anything at heart. Share more of your art if you need further feedback, is a bit hard to analyze just two panels. :slight_smile:

DeformedSunflower
Jun '19

I agree with @amortelito. The green and purple go well together, but the greys and blacks are putting things off-balance. And if you're going for a sketch-like finish, I suggest you to draw the buildings standing upright, but with wobbly line art (something like this):

878ad2005f91b750ae2841f4d630caa463d6b01a.png1276x784 33.7 KB

Another thing would be the text. Dialogues always look better when they're centre-aligned, so I recommend you to try that out.

Good luck on your comic :slight_smile:

unknown_user
Jun '19
SlitheringTruth

Please, don't be so rude.
Everything you've said in your post, could be expressed in polite way, without rudeness. Rudeness provokes rudeness in return, and it makes discussions unproductive. At this forum, we are trying to be not-hostile and help each other, not quarrel.

GesuGesu
Jun '19

Nicefied Tl;dr for top reply:

  1. Please use a ruler. You can hold shift when drawing to create straight lines in your program.

  2. Please colour within the lines. You can set your lineart as "reference layer" and adjust your pen settings to "refer to reference layer" in "anti-overflow" to make it easier

My own take:

Idk why you slanted your text in the word bubbles as well. If everything were straight it wouldn't feel so weird.

I still think you should use a ruler. I'm triggered.

vothnthorvaldson
Jun '19

Well, that shows you never can please everyone. My favorite things in this page are the leaning houses and text, and the not straight lines. I don't know why, it simply makes me happy.

I really dislike the colours, but beside that, I think the top panel is great. It has a whimsical quality that matches the drawing style.

The character does not look finished to me, they look like a first draft that need more work. I know nothing about this kind of cartoonish (?) characters so I can't really help, but what I think you need to do at minima is draw her many times to obtain a more natural flow when you actually draw her in your comic. It looks here like it was the first time you ever drew her (to be honest I did that too, with some of my characters haha). But it's not a good idea :wink:

Oso050
Jun '19

Its the slang. Typically, you want to use them more to add flavor rather than sounding like a different language. They are good slangs but you want to try to avoid making it unreadable. Having a little " * " with the description of the slang at the side is good, or more so just have something to add that isn't important to the main message.

For example;
"You are looking good."
Can be added with flavor with
"Dude, you are looking good, stud."

spicy_sweets
Jun '19

:confused: How is "Wanna go to (store/restaurant) for food (tho I'd change this to lunch or somethin)" unreadable? It seems clear to me