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GrimRose
Aug '19

So I'm currently redesigning and reworking an older story of mine. My plan is to hopefully be ready to post the comic next year during the fall. This is especially important as the story takes place during Halloween.

The most important would have to be the main characters as they are driving most of the story.

Here is the old design.

jack.png600x1000 218 KB

And current redesign.

Jack.png1600x800 823 KB

I wanted to get a bit of feedback from other people as I thought t might help me get an idea of whether their designs seem interesting or boring.

A bit of context.

The story is fantasy
With a Halloween inspired setting
With a dash of mystery.

The two main characters look very similar (there are reasons) but have very different personalities. The character on the left is anxious, avoids conflict and has a more reserved personality. The character on the right is adventurous, rebellious and has a charismatic personality.

Any feedback is welcome. I'm still redesigning a lot of the story and character designs are very open to change.

  • created

    Aug '19

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    Sep '19
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nostalgicroxas
Aug '19

I'd switch the red scarf to a maroon, purple, or pumpkin orange shade. Red seems too anime trope for me. I'd also put the striped or a diamond pattern back on his orange sweater since it'd help give some pop of interest to the sweater.
For the guy on the right, you could adjust his cravat to something that fits his age - either a design like stripes or go back to the poofy cravat style. The black ribbon seems a bit too plain for how bright his eyes and hair are.

punkarsenic
Aug '19

i get that they look very similar for a reason, but there needs to be more distinguishing features between them or your audience will get confused. myself, i have mild faceblindness, so if a story has a few dark haired white men i can get very confused, even if they look different. dont give your audience any opportunity to be confused.

perhaps you can change their hair so its the same texture and colour, but wildly different styles - then, if one needs to impersonate the other, they can simply restyle their hair.

wildly different eye colours is a classic too - i see that one boy has orange eyes, but its not distinct enough. maybe give your man on the left blue or green eyes? i recommend blue, since your palette is orange dominated.

besides that though, you need to really work hard at the gesture, poses, and expressions of these two to distinguish them. exaggerate that slouch on the left, and really push that smug/menacing lean back on the right.

besides that, the halloween vibes really come through and are very nice. perhaps incorporate the bits of purple more, since theyre a very nice touch - maybe purple is only used in this halloween world, and the real world is more browns + a pastel blue for the sky? if you give your man blue eyes, that could connect him to the real world nicely.

what are your inspirations for these designs? have you looked at other halloween media, like over the garden wall or nightmare before christmas?

nostalgicroxas
Aug '19

If you dislike the idea of blue eyes, green could work since that's another common halloween shade.

KelheorRegular
Aug '19

Nice style progress, by the way! :grinning:
I don't have much to add (guys above gave lots of very useful advices, I think), but I would say that the Halloween world guy in his beastly form has this greyish tanned tone that conflicts a bit with his look, it kinda blends together with the clothes. Maybe giving him a very pale skin will make all his bright clothes and eyes, and his black hair stand out much more. If the skin should be dark, maybe giving him a white shirt or more vivid yellow one will do the thing.

punkarsenic
Aug '19
Kelheor

seconding this! since your characters are all about these two worlds, their designs should be in line with those worlds - and your halloween world should probably be off the hook

Iris-Grimoire
Aug '19

Another tip is to maybe add an extra shade on the hair! Ombré can feel overdone but if you need something to make them contrast, just making the hairtips bright orange or purple can break the palette just enough to be striking.

I also feel like the halloween form could use a little more in acessories - maybe a belt, bracelet, or earring(s) - to feel more confident than the regular world form, but not too much.

rajillustration
Aug '19

I really, really like these designs. I'm all ham about skinny boys with the side hair. The only thing I would change is that they are still too samey to be different people. Like all they have different is clothes. I think you can make them look way more different and still call them twins. Like how in Yugioh, Pharaoh and Yugi are supposed to be completely identical because they share the same body, but they look very, very different to us as viewers in eye shape, in height, in the way they do their hair, and the way they hold themselves--I feel like you can go way more different and still call them twins if someone else in the comic says "wow you two look exactly the same".

Inspector_Spinda
Aug '19

As said above the main issue is that the fourth design looks too much like the first two. The only thing that looks different is the eye color so if you change the expression a bit like you'll have to through the story, and do a tight show that don't show the clothes, it'll be super easy to mistake one for the other. Maybe give him an earring or something if you dont want to make any big changes.

nostalgicroxas
Aug '19

Or a birthmark or halloween tattoo or something that's unique to the fourth design that the viewer can pick out - ie he always wears a button pin on his left shoulder that's of a spade :spades:

GrimRose
Sep '19

Thank you guys for the feedback on the characters! I really appreciate it and will try and keep it all in mind as i go through development of the project.

I'd also like to give extra context since I realized i didn't really describe much of the characters or what their relationship might be to the story.

For reference
Left: Jackie-Human-Male
Right: Jack-Non-Human-Male

3 Nights before Halloween, every year, in a small town called Greytown (a dreary looking town), a barrier opens to a world of magic and monsters.
In this alternate magical reality, every night is Halloween.

Nobody knows of it's existence, humans or monsters. (the barrier is invisible) . If either were to know of it's existence it could be disastrous.

Jackie is our main human protagonist who dislikes Halloween but is forced to help his friends prepare for a big Halloween festival with all the other drama and art club kids.

While Jack is our non human magical protagonist, who "accidentally" stumbles into the human world causing way more trouble than he bargained for.

Jack is supposed to look quite a bit like Jackie, while in more human form
and in the original story they were sort of like doppelgangers.

I do actually plan on having him wear the original outfit later in the story. The original outfit is what he would usually wear when he is dressing up for an event.
While the outfit i redrew is something he would wear casually and would be something he would wear before bed.

I think the idea of making a story where there is a completely Halloween themed town/reality came from the nightmare before Christmas or Halloweentown.

I realize that maybe their similar design might be very confusing. I guess I want to make them both unique personality wise while looking alike.
Like imagine meeting your doppelganger who looks exactly like you but talks and acts completely different.

Jacks wardrobe will change a lot during the story. And I'm trying to add a bit more flair to it. Jackie on the other hand will have a small wardrobe of sweaters and jackets so he will be a bit easier to read as a character.

Jack already sort of has a mark in his halloween form whenever he uses magic (the dark stripes under his cheek)

minor details.png1000x1000 300 KB

Even when is looking more human, whenever he uses magic or gets overly emotional his more monster like traits will be noticeable.
Ex
-his hands darken the more he uses magic and it will spread further up his arm.
-glowing eyes
-sharp teeth

As for body language/how the characters act

poses.png1000x1000 325 KB

Jackie is often slouched, closed off and has more anxious or neutral expression.

Jack is puffed up, excited, and is always over the top with his emotion and expression.
He's like a curious cat that likes to get into as much mischief as can be but you can't be really be mad at him cause he's so dang cute.

punkarsenic
Sep '19

sure, yeah, their body language is different but imo to make the distinction clear you need to exaggerate further - push those gestures

nostalgicroxas
Sep '19

I agree but you have to be careful so it doesn't get too cartoony / caricature that the poses overpower the character.

punkarsenic
Sep '19

sure, but as is op's gestures are very lowkey, even stiff in places, which is a hindrance. also, well, this is cartooning