Depressed creator wants to leave, but fans don't want her to

[Aloredd]

There is currently a webcomic artist/creator who is suffering from depression and has quit of her own volition, but passed her account over to a friend. Her friend is trying to convince her to come back and has taken a couple different approaches to try to convince her.

The first approach was to pretend to be mean and extremely rude to make the fans hate her and say they want the artist back in order to show the artist how much she was missed. It almost seemed to work, except that many of the Tapastic users are kind and didn't actually hate the friend. Since this didn't work, the friend decided to pretend to be the artist for a few days.

The second approach was that the friend tried to get all of the artist's subscribers to say they want her back, and in the process revealed that the artist has fallen to self harm.

In the meantime, fans took other approaches. They left messages on her wall trying to talk to her and say how much they miss her and like her work etc. One even tried getting everyone to share personal experiences/problems to show that she's not alone. I don't even know how many private messages have been sent to her, or how many fans have chased her down on other media.

My purpose of making this post is that I'm worried we might be part of her struggle. I've tried to get the others to stop and if not support her in her decision to at least leave her alone. I feel that it's almost gotten to the point of bullying, albeit unintentionally. I'm afraid that if her account were deleted/suspended or whatever to give her peace that it might push her further, because she loves art but believes that she's no good at it (her own revelation, not her friend's). If admins did anything to her artwork by deleting/suspending her account without thorough explanation, she might fall beyond the point of no return.

My younger brother suffered from depression, and although it wasn't serious depression, we still had to be careful about how we interacted with him. I've not know anyone but him who suffered from deep enough depression to self harm, but that was enough to know that trying to encourage them to do something they don't want to is a catalyst.

I need to know if there is a way to get the fans and even the friend to just support her in her decision and not keep pestering her to resume drawing. If that's not possible, is there a way to keep them from posting to her wall and sending PMs without touching/doing anything to her artwork? I know there's not much we can do about her friend because they know each other in person, but is there something that can be done about the Tapasic users?

I don't want to share links or names unless requested, but I will if there is something that can be done about it.

[carloswebcomic]

How the hell do people get into these situations?
Easy fix. She can stop going on the internet.

[Aloredd]

her friend is the link. She tried to stop the internet but her friend took over her profile and essentially wont let her

[carloswebcomic]

Well, her "profile" is on the internet. She could just ignore it.

[Aloredd]

@CyndiFoster ....youre the only admin I know the name of off the top of my head...is there something that can be done about this? ....unless youre not and admin and i'm just mistaken.

[shazzbaa]

Carlos is blunt but speaking truth. If people are communicating with you on a website that doesn't have options to disable communication, and that communication is harming you, then you gotta step away from the website.
If the artist isn't engaging with the site anymore, then all those people are shouting into the void. Just because her profile is receiving those messages doesn't mean she is.

If the friend wants to stay on the site and rile up the subscribers there and somehow pass those responses along to the artist, then that is between the friend and the artist to work out. All you can really do, if you feel you have to do something, is tell the friend you wish them the best but you're worried that what they're doing might do more harm than good.

And... unless the artist has asked you to speak for her.... like, I understand why you're worried, but you gotta realise... if you are not directly involved, but trying to jump in and get mods to disable the ability to send messages because you're worried about the artist and think that will be for the artist's best, then that wouldn't be any better than what the friend is doing -- taking over the account because they're worried about the artist and think it's for the artist's best. : (
Regardless of what can be done, if the artist wants messages disabled, I really feel like that request should come from the artist herself, rather than a concerned third party, because there's so much we don't and can't know about the situation. : (

[gateofselidor]

Yeah, it's unfortunate, and the internet can be a great place to escape to, but in this artist's case she really needs to disengage and stay away.

It's a pity the friend has access to the account, and that they're behaving the way they are, as it is no doubt making the artist feel worse, but I agree that there's nothing the Tapastic staff really can or should do without the creator's permission, and it doesn't sound like she should be anywhere near Tapastic at the moment.

[SpavVy]

Another fix is for her to stop talking to this friend.

[Mikayi]

Hi,
Depression is not pretty, nor is it helped by telling someone to just do something or just get over it. Self harm is even worst. Unfortunally I had a bought of depression and self harm before. I will say this much I have been told to get over it, and to stop drawing if I was going to disappear . I had little to no support and things just got worst. And part of it came from a friend telling me to give up.bi admit it got worst after that I even attempted sucide, but survive it. The only thing sadly enough that helped because I had no one was my dog. I got the puppy that was going to the shelter because he wasn't breed standard. But he has been my companion and kept me somewhat stable.

I ended up disappearing for 3+ years got rid of all my accounts and didn't say a word to anyone. In the end I did start drawing again slowly. It hurt that no one read my comics anymore but I had to realize to draw for me because it was something I enjoyed and hope someone else out there might as well. I admit it still gets me down that I hardly get readers.

The thing is the friend pretending to be her, trying anger Fisrt was most likely extremely unhelpful. The most helpful thing anyone can do is just talk to the person and listen to them. Don't say things like " it's going to be okay" because eno one knows we can hope but we can't promise that and those words may hurt in the long run. If the artist needs a break let them have it. But don't force anger on them, tell them to leave or be upset if they do. The artist may need a personal friend to talk to. We excape using the Internet but sometimes a lack of support isn't helpful. You can't ever force someone to change overnight .

Hope that helps a little but I do think the artist needs someone to talk to personal or even someone to just sit quietly next to them. Sometimes you don't need words to communicate.

[PotooGryphon]

I'm just a forum mod and an everyday creator like the rest of the community ^_^

@michaelson would be the right person to look into this activity happening on the main site.

However, I agree with @shazzbaa if the artist wants to stop or take a break it's their choice and they shouldn't log onto the site if it's causing them distress. The artist should ask the Tapastic staff for help if they don't like how the friend is stirring people up on their account, change their password so the friend no longer has access, or block their IP address. It's wonderful that there's a massive outcry of support and love coming their way and you're very sweet to worry however, it's their decision of what they do next. Hopefully they seek help and support offline to help battle their depression and find joy in art again.

[69Michi]

The thing about fans sending private message saying how much they love or miss another creator's work is... a double-edged sword. With words like that you can potentially encourage a creator to pick up her work and continue doing it or just further guilt tripping her into oblivion ; q ; I had been there in both situation. I used to write novel online, update it regularly on my blog. But I got into some serious and stupid internet drama that left me not wanting to go online anymore (also part of the reason I stopped writing was because my computer broke down and I lost all my writing documents) I wanted to just drop everything and disappeared for a short while, but people sent me messages wanting me to continue. I tried, really did, for a few chapters before I got fed up and just left for real. But here is the main problem, overall I'm quite a positive and optimistic person, so I can just drop thing and ignore people at will and all I need is a day or two of silence to regain my composure. But I know some people that go through depressant cannot do this. Personally I have a few friends who are depressed so I know. (I'm not the best of people that know how to deal with depressed people honestly, all I could do was listening to them ranting)

Honestly though, friend like this... you rather don't have. So yes, have her stop talking to this friend and cut off any interaction she had with her account. If you want to leave Tapastic/webcomic, just try to do it cleanly, ignore every message about it, make a new social media account if she must. For the fans I could only say... people won't do what you want them to. If you know that the fans are reasonable, try talking to them and spread the words.

[iddqd]

Oh boy... Looks like instead of all of this your friend needs help finding some mental health services available in her area. Depending on where she lives, some might be free or covered by health insurance, and some psychologists may do pro bono or discounted sessions depending on her financial situation. If she is at a university, I think most have student counselling services that can help. Seriously, the only real difference will come as a result of her being in touch with a competent psychiatrist, psychologist, or a social worker (or all of them). You'd be surprised how much a mix of therapy and antidepressants can change someone's depression.
However, something tells me you don't know this friend in person.

[matthewroel]

Yep, in a case like this, the artist really needs help from legitimate mental health professionals. Sucks that stuff like this can happen, but mental health takes priority over fans and webcomics.

[michaelson]

There are only a handful of actions that I can take regarding altering the account - whether it's outright deleting the account or hiding her series from public view, or deleting the series (we currently have no way of disabled private messaging). All of these can only come about if the original creator and owner of the account reaches out to me (michaelson@tapasmedia.co). Beyond that, there's not much else I can provide - mainly because issues regarding mental health should be handled externally by professionals and not be staff members of a webcomic platform.

[KSlinger]

her friend is the link

That ain't a friend.

[jackalope212]

I can understand the urge to help, but sometimes only helping a little and maybe even not at all is better.

My sister has borderline depression that would have ended up becoming much worse if everyone (especially our parents, namely our dad) didn't keep telling her to "get over it" or tried to fix it themselves, and if she didn't eventually talk to a psychiatrist and start taking medication. I know people who knew someone close with depression and they ended up hurting themselves because everyone tried so hard to fix them the wrong way. My sister would feel better after I would just sit next to her and let her cry into my shoulder, but sometimes it's best to give people space and let them see a doctor.

In this case the artist needs time away from the internet.

[Shanny8]

The final choice & say so on the matter, is up to the artist. If they havent left by now, it's because part of them doesnt want to. I know with me once I've made up my mind about something it's a done deal...because the only person who can make a decision for me is me.

[indagold]

Jesus christ this sounds like a mess and her friend is screwing things up. First of all if anything I would just find a way to leave them alone and recover on their own accord, take a break and let them get their life together, seriously let them seek a psychiatrist, therapist if that is possible. Youa and everyone else have to treat it as an illness and understand it needs professional intervention.

[ToonDoctor]

Tell the friend to drop the whole thing and stop creating drama.